What's Shakin'?

The Burger King God: Have it Your Way

2012-01-26T11:11:00.003-05:00

Some of you reading this are struggling with allowing Jesus Christ to shine through you. You struggle with the perception of others. You are afraid to be a Godly man or woman. You acknowledge God’s omnipotence, but don’t think you are called to actually do anything. Which means, you also don’t really live as though you truly believe God is who He says He is.

I’ve read about this term called “Practical Atheism.” Craig Groeschel, Senior Pastor at LifeChurch in Oklahoma, describes the term this way: “It’s when you say, ‘I believe in God, I just don’t fear Him.’”

This is where the rubber meets the road. Beth Moore, the great author and speaker, calls this the difference between “Believing IN God, and believing God.” Most people do believe IN God. However, they don’t claim God’s promises unless they are convenient, or until they are urgent.

According to the writer in Proverbs, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.” (Proverbs 1:7 NIV)

We want to be able to reap the rewards of Christianity without actually obeying Christ. Because many lack the discipline to be obedient to God’s commands, they begin to create their own theology – one that is not rooted in God Himself, but rather in their own concoction of a little bit of God, and a whole lot of themselves.

I read an eye-opening article entitled More Americans Tailoring Religion to Fit Their Needs that appeared in USA Today. Here’s an excerpt from the article, written by Cathy Lynn Grossman:

The folks who make up God as they go are side-by-side with self-proclaimed believers who claim the Christian label but shed their ties to traditional beliefs and practices. Religion statistics expert George Barna says, with a wry hint of exaggeration, America is headed for "310 million people with 310 million religions."

And, while each of us may commune with God in our own way, scripture is absolutely clear that there’s only ONE way to heaven, and that is through Jesus Christ. Not through what “feels” right. Not through “being a good person.” Not through “taking care of Mother Earth” or through self-improvement, or enlightenment.

Among Jesus’ many profound teachings are bold statements he made to the crowds who followed him. They are referred to as “I AM” statements:

I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never go thirsty. (John 6:35)

I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life. (John 8:12)

I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. (John 10:9)

I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. (John 11:25-26)

I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:6)

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me, and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:5)

In that same USA Today article, Barna laments, "People say, 'I believe in God. I believe the Bible is a good book. And then I believe whatever I want.'"

In the end, you either you believe God (Jesus), or you don’t. John, the disciple who may have been Jesus’ closest friend, wrote this near the end of his life:

We know that we have come to know him if we keep his commands. Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did. (1 John 2:3-6)

So, here’s our call: To believe God, accept Christ, and do as he did – obeying his Father, and loving and serving others.

Church and Halloween

2011-10-28T17:01:00.007-04:00

Let me preface this by saying that the opinions I share in this post are generalizations about churches - not anything personally directed at you or your church. I am a pastor at a church. I LOVE the church, and would never want to say anything do it harm. But, I do think it's OK to challenge people's thinking.

Each Halloween, I get a little bit agitated. Don't get me wrong - I love the frivolity of the costumes, the spookiness of the season (not REAL spookiness, mind you), and of course the booty of candy my kids bring in that night (plus any leftovers the in-laws may have). No, my ire has nothing to do with Halloween itself. It's many churches' approach to Halloween that raises my blood pressure.

Like you, I drive by countless churches during the month of October with signs, banners, and LED boards with these three words: Trunk or Treat. Clever.

But, this idea has evolved over the decades. When I was growing up, my school always held a Fall Festival. There were games, crafts, costumes, dunk tanks, apple bobbing, and lots of good food. The church - lacking in creativity - adopted this idea and began holding their own Fall Festivals. Same idea, but just lots of church people, with lots of church fundraisers mixed in.

In general, when it came to Halloween, the church has been against it. The Fall Festival was, in theory, a way to get people together to celebrate the autumn season, while in no way acknowledging Halloween. One online resource I read says, "the term was created to replace the traditional Halloween party because of fundamentalist rhetoric that Halloween is a satanic holiday. It is not a satanic holiday, by the way. It is a celebration of the autumn equinox which has been celebrated by Christians for many centuries, and by pagans for many centuries before that."

Here's how I believe churches evolved the idea from Fall Festival to "Trunk or Treat." Churches that offered a Fall Festival noticed that their congregants were still being drawn into the secular world of All Hallow's Eve. Families who attended a Fall Festival on October 25 were still going trick-or-treating on October 31. Churches thought they would "wise up" and offer something which would force families to choose between their ultra-safe, insider-focused church event and trick-or-treating, which involves families being around - oh my word - people who don't go to church. The horrors!

So, the church, once again incredible in its ingenuity, came up with the term "Trunk or Treat" to make sure we all knew that it was staking its claim on this "holiday." They said, "We'll still allow kids to wear costumes, we'll hand out candy, and we'll replace those wacky tricks people play on one another with sitting in the trunk of your car (or tailgate of your truck). In doing this, churches who have a Trunk or Treat have communicated to their congregants, "We don't have a problem with Halloween or with trick-or-treating. We just don't want you doing it with your un-churched friends in your neighborhoods."

Do I believe all churches who hold a Trunk or Treat think this way? Certainly not. But, I do think these churches need to really think through the real reasons they are holding the event. If it's for safety, I'd say, "When is the last time any you know actually got a razor blade in an apple, or were poisoned by candy?"

Most churches already have the reputation for being too insider-focused. They consider reaching their community holding a Trunk or Treat or Vacation Bible School. Instead, I believe churches need to be looking for more opportunities to serve others outside their walls, and empowering their people to influence others - even through trick-or-treating with their families.

BTW - I pulled the Trunk or Treat image above off a church website.

First Impressions

2011-09-06T10:48:00.003-04:00

You’ve seen them. Some wear headphones and dance. Some wear costumes – maybe a Mickey Rat, or a faux Easter Bunny, or Lady Liberty. Still others just chill in a tailgating chair, or perhaps just pace back and forth. Who are they? They’re the “sign holders.” Pizza places, chicken finger restaurants, tax preparers, or used car lots employ them. They are the hired guns. They are on the front lines.

But, here’s the deal. When I see a business whose primary marketing strategy is to throw a dude carrying a sign out on the road – costume or not – I almost always discard that business from consideration for my hard-earned dollars. To me, it conveys several messages to the consumer. First, it tells me that you are trying to take shortcuts in your advertising plan. Second, it tells me that you have not established a rapport with the community. Businesses are typically built on relationships, not on the sign-holder. When you are putting the sign holder out on the street, you are telling me that you are too lazy to build relationships.

Finally, it comes across to me as desperate. Perhaps a business has attempted to “microwave” relationships with those in the community, and word-of-mouth just isn’t spreading like they had hoped. The balloons and jumpies and weird wavy inflatable stick thingies haven’t drawn the anticipated crowd. So, the owner finally caves and says, “Let’s hire a sign guy.” It’s the last straw many times.

For all of these reasons, I don’t typically patronize these businesses. If people aren’t talking about it, then it’s probably not a place I am going to check out. And, really, if you are a business owner, do you want the VERY FIRST impression of your business to be the dude sitting in the lawn chair with an upside-down sign sitting in his lap?

Despite the public perception (or just mine), I sincerely doubt that business owners want the public to feel this way about their establishments. They fail to realize that they are, in fact, creating a brand image for their product – a negative one in many cases. The message that their target audience is receiving isn’t likely the one they had intended. But, as many have said before, perception is reality many times.

The same happens with us as individuals. We send messages to those around us each and every day – whether we realize it or not. And, while you may say to yourself, “I don’t care what people think about me,” I believe you need to. Admit it or not, we need people to like us in order for us to thrive. You may be able to get away with being a self-absorbed prima donna for a while, and fool people into believing that you are just “eccentric” or “unique.” But, that will only take you so far.

If you are an artist, a teacher, a musician, a contractor, a homemaker, or a banker, people are forming impressions of you all the time. They base this on the “signs” that you put on display every day: your attitude, your demeanor, your tone of voice, your word choice. And, yes, your appearance! Greasy hair, clothing that is too revealing, clothing that is too baggy, tattoos, piercings – people notice these things and form opinions. You cannot escape it. On the other hand, people also form opinions about people who wear a suit and tie, khaki shorts, flip-flops, or a certain brand of tennis shoe. We all have our own "personal style."

Am I saying to be a “sell-out” to please others? No. But, I am saying that in order to get where we need to be, or want to be, we should consider others – because we do need others in our lives.

Despite the moniker, there’s really no such thing as the “self-made man.” Each of us has built a “brand” for ourselves over time. These are impressions that others have of us before they ever even interact with us. For example, we may have never owned or driven a Ferrari, but we each have thoughts and feelings about that brand. Likewise, based on what people witness in you, they draw conclusions about the brand you “wear” each day. The question is – Is this the message you intended to send?

Embrace the Challenge

2011-08-24T15:34:00.001-04:00

Crossword Puzzles. Jigsaw Puzzles. Tying your shoes for the first time. Sports. TV Game Shows. Running a Marathon. Earning a certification for your vocation or career. Solving Rubik’s Cube.

All of these have something in common. They present challenges. At least they should. That’s the reason we attempt them, right? If no challenge was involved, would we even try? OK, maybe “tying your shoes” can be eliminated here, but if you ever watch a four or five-year old tying their shoes, you can’t help but get tickled by the focus and concentration painted on their little faces.

So, if things like game shows, puzzles, and sports keep us interested and enthusiastic about them because of the competition involved, and inner strength required to reach great heights, why do we not approach life the same way?

Sometimes I get into this mode where I just want things to go smoothly. It’s called “being human.” It basically happens every day. Smooth days are nice. Bumpy – not so much. But, if life is always smooth, and I never encounter adversity in my path, am I truly reaching my God-given potential? If I am not pushed relationally, emotionally, spiritually, or intellectually, I am settling. And, perhaps worse than that, I could be regressing.

Think about the most difficult path you’ve walked in your life. When you look in the rearview mirror of your years on earth, did that event or trial strengthen you, or did it weaken you? I’m not necessarily talking about death of a loved one, or sickness or some other devastating event. I am talking about those times you had to dig deep, work hard, and give it your all. In hindsight, were you glad you gave 100%, or was it a complete waste of time?

Occasionally, it’s nice to receive a hand-out. As a baseball coach, it’s a relief sometimes to not toil over who to pitch in the last inning, or who to put behind the plate when it’s 95 degrees outside. But, the most rewarding “wins” are the ones where everyone is putting it all on the line, and you eek out that one-run victory on a bases-clearing double. Those are the ones you celebrate the most. But it’s not the hit itself that wins the game. It’s the attitude the hitter has in the box.

In his book, If You Want to Walk on Water, You’ve Got to Get Out of the Boat, John Ortberg talks quite a bit about those things that hold us back from achieving our best. It’s the “what if” moments that cause discouragement to creep in. Ultimately, it’s a lack of confidence that creates something that destroys the joy in our lives: fear.

So, if fear destroys joy, then (as Ortberg writes) “challenge produces joy.” The payoff for the base hit isn’t just the “W” in the victory column; it’s the joy you get from meeting – and overcoming – the challenge. If our baseball team was undefeated, and had won each game by ten or more runs, we’d be over-confident. We wouldn’t know exactly what our best truly is. We wouldn’t aspire to become better. We’d go through the motions and settle for “good” when “best” is there for the taking.

And so it is with our lives. We trudge through our days, going to work, paying the bills, getting the kids ready, talking about the weather, lamenting about this and that. Generally speaking, we have what we “want” – a nice house, two cars (or more), some gadgets and gizmos, a decent job, and a few friends.

What we fail to realize is that if we will challenge ourselves – really push ourselves – we can reach new heights. We can accomplish great things and influence countless lives. But, all too often we are complacent about “the unknown.” And, if we’re not complacent, we’re just plain scared. But, as I tell my players, “You can’t play scared.”

Ortberg writes that “fear and joy are fundamentally incompatible.” When I wonder “what if” and think about all the worst-case scenarios, I am snuffing out joy.

And, who wants to be a joy-snuffer?

First Things First

2011-08-10T15:03:00.000-04:00

There are two words that have been burned into my brain. It started when I began dating my now-wife Amy. Her dad, David, always used these two words when he would speak to her and her two brothers. Every so often, he would utter this simple phrase that painted a picture of his expectations of his family, and of others in general: “Privileges and Responsibilities.”

I think of this phrase often. In fact, my kids have become familiar with “P & R” as the standard of what is expected of them. They have Grandpa to thank for that.

Here’s how it works: when you show that you are responsible, then you earn privileges. It’s that simple. And, although the word “privileges” comes first when we speak that phrase, demonstrating responsibility must always precede earning privileges. If it doesn’t, bad things happen.

Unfortunately, we now live in a society that rewards bad behavior and irresponsibility. Kids (and adults) get away with murder. Why? Because there are rarely any REAL consequences to negative and harmful behavior. Andy Stanley, Senior Pastor at NorthPoint Community Church, coined perhaps the best phrase to explain this phenomenon: What’s rewarded is repeated.
What Stanley means is this: when someone hurts someone else, or does damage to something, or is just outright mean, but is never disciplined for this behavior, that very behavior continues. NOT punishing the individual is actually rewarding the behavior.

I think about the destructive attitude of self-entitlement that so many people carry with them, and how it reinforces this endless cycle. It’s a “do it first, ask questions later” mentality. There’s no honor in it. The privilege has not been earned, but is taken anyway.
Perhaps someone decides to borrow a tent without asking permission from someone. They take the tent, use it, and return it. But, the tent top wasn’t cleaned. The stakes and tie-downs are misplaced. There’s sand and dirt everywhere inside the bag. All the person thinks is, “I borrowed the tent and returned it. See – no big deal.” But, the next time the owner of the tent gets it out, it’s a mess. And, now he or she has to clean it up.

Maybe you ask to drive your friend’s van or truck because you need to load something, and your Prius won’t cut it. You pick up the load of stuff, then unload and return the vehicle. But, it never occurs to you to check the backseat and cargo areas. There’s soot and debris in the floorboards. And, you neglected to see the candy bar wrapper and empty Styrofoam cup you left in the front. Not to mention the three gallons of gas you used on your trip. Will the owner be as willing to help you in the future?

This all may sound nit-picky, but it’s a big deal. And, it’s cyclical: what goes around comes around. You reap what you sow. The Golden Rule. All those clichés and sayings are so true when it comes to how our actions and behaviors either come back to either haunt us or to repay us later.

And, guess what they all come back to? That’s right – Privileges and Responsibilities. When we can speak to people with honor and respect, can treat others’ possessions as our own, and demonstrate that we are trustworthy, we will earn rewards and privileges as a result.

But, if we fail to show responsibility on the front end, and we try to take privileges before we’ve earned them, we dig ourselves a huge hole. And, that is when the responsibilities really begin to pile up, and there’s a long way to go before trust can be gained.

Just put first things first – responsibility and respect – and see how everything can begin to fall into place, and how eager people will be to find ways to return the favor.

"Let" Him In

2011-07-21T15:41:00.004-04:00

The people brought children to Jesus, hoping he might touch them. The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate and let them know it: "Don't push these children away. Don't ever get between them and me. These children are at the very center of life in the kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept God's kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you'll never get in." Then, gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands of blessing on them. Mark 10:13-16 (Message)

Don’t you wish you could go back and see the world through the eyes of a child? That wide-eyed enthusiasm, simplicity, care-free spirit, and longing for nothing but fun is something we, as adults, rarely see in one another. But, kids get it. Much more than we do.

And, sadly, just as the disciples did, we overlook the profound examples of faith children provide us. We brush them aside, and think we, as “big people” have all the right answers. But, if you read Jesus’ words in the passage above, you cannot escape Jesus’ disdain for this type of attitude. Jesus warns us that we had better not come between him and the children.

Children may not have the mental capacity to understand the deeper meanings and symbolism presented in scripture. They may not know the names of all 12 disciples. They may not even realize yet that there is an Old Testament and a New Testament. But, Jesus never told us these things were important. There was only one bit of truth that he wanted us to grasp: that He came, died, and was risen to new life for us.

I was reminded of this recently with my own son, Chandler. He just turned 7. We were at the dinner table, and had just said the blessing. My wife had prayed for a friend, asking God that this woman would see the need for Him in her life. When she finished, my 11-year old son said, “I thought she was a Christian.” My wife replied that this lady had been to church, but had not asked Jesus in her heart.

So, Chandler responds, “Well, how do you do that?” Great question. One we have prayed he would ask.

We proceeded to have a discussion about God, Jesus, the problem of sin, the life and death of Jesus, and His resurrection. This was nothing new to Chandler. He knows “the facts.” But, I could see something was stirring inside him.

Later that evening, I called Chandler to come upstairs. We sat on his bed, and I asked him if he remembered the discussion we had at dinner about Jesus and how we can be with him in heaven if we tell him that we believe in him. He said, “Yeah. Can I do that right now?” Wow. Be still my heart.

I asked him some questions to make absolutely certain that he understood what was happening. He did. I said, “Buddy, if you know that Jesus died for your sins, and that you want to be with him in heaven when you leave earth, then you don’t have to wait any more. You can do it right now.”

He said, “I want to do it right now.”

I took his little hands in mine, and we prayed. It was one of the most tender, special moments of my life. While it was quiet and peaceful in his bedroom, I can guarantee you there was a party like none other that was being held in heaven at that moment.

Later that night, Chandler got to tell his mom and his brother about the decision he made. More tears of joy, more laughter and hugs and kisses.

Then, he wanted to call his grandparents. With each of his grandparents taking turns individually, Chandler explained matter-of-factly, “I let Jesus in my heart.”

He “let” him in. I was immediately struck by the profound nature of his choice of words. He didn’t say that he asked Jesus in. He seemed to understand that he didn’t need to ask. He just needed to “let.” Jesus was ready. And, on May 2, 2011, so was Chandler.

Inhumane Society

2011-05-11T10:17:00.004-04:00

It’s embarrassing. Downright maddening. Sad. Pathetic. And, I am sometimes guilty of it myself. Perhaps you are as well.

I coach basketball and, right now, baseball. I love it. It consumes me, but I so enjoy the opportunity to help coach and teach kids that it’s worth the sacrifice.

But, I’ve seen a lot of ugliness on the court and on the field. Humans become monsters. Throwing tantrums. Lacking self-control. Unsportsmanlike behavior. Boos. Stomping feet. Ridicule. Emotions off the charts. And, guess what…it’s usually not the kids. It’s the coaches, parents, and grandparents!

As the head coach of several teams over the years, I have contested many calls that officials and umpires have made. I am pretty critical of them, and will not hesitate to express my bewilderment at a brutal call. I have never used profanity or made a personal comment to anyone. I am normally able to reign it in, but two years ago it got the best of me. The pitch got by the catcher, and I sent the runner from third base to try and score him. The catcher flipped the ball to the catcher in time to make the tag, but the pitcher reached for the runner, and tagged him high on the chest when he slid. He was clearly safe, but the umpire called him out. That run would have tied the game!

Instead of just saying, “Umpires are human, too. We all make mistakes,” I chose to run down the third base line and go all “Earl Weaver” on him. Maybe even a little Billy Martin. I got down on my hands and knees and pointed to the precise spot that the tag was made. I then cleared off the plate with my bare hands to demonstrate where my runner slid to beat the tag. I did everything but pull a Lou Piniella and throw bases across the field. Did it change the call? No. Did I look foolish? Likely.

This was 9 & 10-year old recreational baseball. Last I checked, there are no professional scouts in the stands. No high school or college coaches, either. Even if there were, it wouldn’t excuse that behavior.

There is a difference, however, between the head coach arguing a call, and a parent or spectator in the stands. The officials make it clear that they only want to hear from the head coach if there is a dispute. So, as a head coach, I am defending my players. I am working on their behalf to make sure the umpires do their very best. If there is an issue with another coach or player, it is my responsibility to address it with that coach. No one else should be involved in it.

But, it doesn’t always happen that way. Not in baseball, not in school, not in life. People are often undignified and accusatory. They do not speak in a civil manner to those with whom they disagree. They think the world of themselves, but see the worst in others. Umpires included.

We often utter the over-used, disingenuous phrase, “It’s for the kids.” But, the kids are the last ones we are thinking about when we are berating, insulting, or putting down another human being. In the end, is it worth it?

Recently, an umpire made another terrible call – actually several of them – in a game I was coaching. We had the tying run on third base, and he called a third strike on a ball that was at my batter’s neck when it crossed the plate. That ended the inning, as well as our chances of winning the game. I let him know I didn’t agree with the call, and eventually walked away and let it go.

But, one of our fans wouldn’t let it go. He continued to voice his displeasure. And, after the game, he told the umpire that he was the worst umpire he’d ever seen. I asked him, “What good did that do?” He said, “Well, it made me feel better. I had to get it out of my system.”

As adults, we need to do a better job of being the types of role models kids not only look up to, but emulate. If we do, then when we say, “It’s just a game,” that’s what it’ll be. And, it’ll truly be for the kids, not an opportunity for adults to act like two-year olds.

Eye Spy

2011-05-05T09:32:00.002-04:00

One of my kids’ favorite pastimes is to play “I Spy.” Not only is it a fun challenge for them, it also keeps them preoccupied when we are out to eat at a restaurant, and it allows the adults at the table to carry on a somewhat uninterrupted conversation. So, it’s encouraged.

It never fails that my kids – now ages 11 and 7 – can spot the most obscure of items, whether they are the “spyer” or the “guesser.” They are perceptive. They are quick. They can go beyond the obvious to discover the minuscule or insignificant if the task requires it.

Which begs this question: If my kids possess mad observation skills when they have to use brain power and patience, what do they see when things are in plain sight? How careful am I when I am around them? What about others, like teachers, friends’ parents, or coaches at the ball field, who have an immeasurable impact on shaping my child’s character? Do they realize – truly realize – that the spotlight is on them in a much more significant manner than a Broadway actor?

Our kids see. They witness our imperfections, our stumbles, our weaknesses, our tirades. They know when someone is being treated unfairly. They are keenly aware of adults who are “trouble.” They can pick up very quickly what is going on, as innocent as most of them are.

I am a dad to two boys, but I am also a coach to another 21 boys on the baseball field. It is a privilege like none other, and I do not take it lightly. I have the ability to shape – even just a tiny bit – who these young boys will grow up to be. The types of attitudes they will have, the type of friends they become, the kind of sports they will be in victory or defeat, and how they will respect and treat others. That is an awesome thing.

I was working with one of the kids on the team the other day. We were in the bullpen, and this young man was telling me about his experience on a team the year before. He suddenly said, “I don’t like Coach (insert coach’s name).” I had heard other parents and kids say the same thing, and all I could think about was how much of a shame it was that kids felt this way about a man who volunteers his time to coach. This was the same coach that I heard brought in a kid in the middle of an inning to pitch in relief. The kid who came in was allowed to throw one pitch – ONE – before the coach yanked him out of the game. Kids know. Kids see. Kids feel.

Eyes are on you whether you realize it or not, whether you like it or not. We have the power, as adults, to encourage, love, teach, and invest in children and teenagers. What we say and do around them – especially in our roles as parents – will either do them a world of good, or will send them down a tough road of pain, confusion, foolishness, and discouragement.

Just as kids see the worst in us, they also see the best in us. They know the adults they want to spend time with. They know the coaches they want to play for. They know the police officer who gives them a high five, or the teacher who gives them hugs. And, most of all, they know their moms and dads. And, their eyes are searching – always searching – to find someone they can follow.

Common Sense Marriage

2011-03-09T14:21:00.001-05:00

The statistics are daunting. We constantly hear that half of all marriages end in divorce. I don’t even think it’s alarming any more. It’s just a given.

But, as Ted Lowe of MarriedPeople recently said, “I don’t believe that a marriage is supposed to be a statistic.”

So, how do we prevent the “good marriages” from becoming a divorce statistic? The answers are probably simpler than you think. At the end of the day, it’s all about common sense, which is likely to yield some pretty uncommon results.

1. Treat your spouse the way you want to be treated. Talk to him or her with love and respect. If you hate to be talked to sarcastically, chances are your spouse doesn’t care for it either. This doesn’t mean you have to use dignified or formal vocabulary. It’s all about the attitude of the heart.

2. “Cheat work” with your spouse, not the other way around. Striking a balance between your home life and your career is a challenge. However, few people, if any, ever regret cheating their work by spending more time with their families. On the other hand, the world is full of spouses who regret cheating their families by working 70-80+ hours per week, and missing important family events, ball games, etc.

3. Put the cell phone or computer away – especially during “alone time.” It’s bad enough if you work an extra 20-30 hours at the office. But, bringing your work home, and constantly checking your emails and texts from business associates may be just as troublesome. How do YOU feel when you are with someone who is always checking their phone, and won’t give you the attention you desire? It’s disheartening, and you likely don’t want to spend much time with that person in the future. Why should your marriage be any different?

4. Have fun. When you got married, did you think you would lead a dull, disconnected, aggravating life with your spouse? If you did, you wouldn’t have married them! So, rekindle the flames by making it a point to have a good time with your spouse. Stale marriages lack laughter and excitement. Go places, laugh, be merry, and show your spouse exactly how much you truly enjoy being with them!

5. Make your spouse the only “man” or “woman” in your life. We have a rule here at my office – men and women cannot ride in the same car alone, and they cannot be in the same office alone with a door shut. Sound a tad extreme? To some it may seem silly, but why ever put yourself in a compromising situation? Affairs rarely, if ever, happen in an instant. They usually evolve over time, and after several instances of spending time alone together. If you avoid the first time being alone with a member of the opposite sex, you won’t ever get to that dangerous fourth or fifth time. Put strict – and safe – guidelines in place now to avoid having a devastating crash later.

6. Do it because you love him/her. Does the house need to be vacuumed? Trash need to be taken out? Crumbs on the floor need to be swept up? Often, we’ll see things that need to be done, and grumble against our spouse. We do it so we can hold it over their heads, or so we won’t get yelled at. But, one man recently told me about a similar issue at his house. “I walked into the kitchen and saw all the dirty dishes in the sink. So, I went over and I washed them. And, I didn’t do it so I wouldn’t have to hear her complain about it. I did it so she wouldn’t have to clean them herself.”

Hidden Gems

2011-03-03T13:48:00.002-05:00

I just finished reading Tony Ingle's book, I Don't Mind Hitting Bottom, I Just Hate Dragging. Amy bought it for me for Christmas this past year. She has worked at Kennesaw State University for nearly 11 years now, and knows just about everyone who is on staff there - including Men's Head Basketball Coach Tony Ingle.

I truly picked up the book off my shelf last week for entertainment purposes. I have always heard that Coach Ingle is a witty guy, and I was in the need of a good laugh. Little did I know that I would learn some valuable lessons along the way.

Coach's story is among the most inspirational I have ever read. Of all the "comeback" and "down and out" stories that exist, his may be the most compelling - for a lot of reasons. You'll have to read to find out why I say that. And, while there are thousands of potential take-aways from the book, I found three in particular that will remain with me:

1. You can't be tired when it comes to your kids. Let me put this a different way: You can be tired, even feel like you are about to keel over. But, you can't say that to your kids. When you have worked all day, and walk through the front door at 6 or 7 p.m., you are ready to take a load off. Relax. Chill. But, your kids haven't seen you all day. They are excited you are home! If you want to do the right thing, you'll fight through it and play with your kids. Read to them, wrestle with them, shoot hoops with them, play cars in the floor with them. They don't deserve the get the "leftovers" from your day. Re-energize with a cup of coffee or Powerade...and spend that time with your little ones!

2. Tony Ingle says, "You are your habits." So, if you have a habit of starting things and never finishing them, you are a quitter. If you have a habit of not telling the truth, you are a liar. If you have a habit of not giving your best effort, you are an underachiever. You could fill in a million blanks here, but if we make negative behaviors into habits, then we become defined my those actions. On the flip side, if I make a habit of pouring my heart and soul into kids' lives, then that is who I will become. If I make a habit of tithing, then I will be a giver. It works both ways. Good habits make a great witness.

3. Relationships are critical. No matter how bad things got for Tony Ingle, he had a support system to help carry him through the darkest times in his life. It began in the home. Because he didn't compromise his family for his "dream" of winning a National Championship, they were there with him through thick and thin. Further, Tony was a master at networking and developing lifelong friendships with people wherever he went. Because Tony was a good friend to these people, they went to bat for him constantly. Further, he tirelessly volunteered at camps and clinics, where he met some of the most influential coaches and personalities in collegiate sports. Building relationships takes a lot of time and energy. People don't exist to serve you. You exist to serve others. And, when you do, people know you care, and they begin to care about you in return.

Pick up the book at the Kennesaw State University bookstore. You'll laugh a lot, and you may even shed a tear. But, you'll be better for reading Tony Ingle's story. And, if you're smart, you'll follow his lead by being fully present with your kids, embracing good habits, and investing in others' lives along the way.

Don't Bury that Treasure!

2011-02-23T14:28:00.002-05:00

So, I finished Randy Alcorn's classic book entitled The Treasure Principle. I couldn't recommend the book more - it is absolutely spot on. I have recapped the Six Treasure Principle Keys that Alcorn shares in the book in previous blog entries. I hope you will read through them and allow them to sink in.

But, before I move on to another subject to blog about, I feel like I need to talk to those folks who are not currently giving to the Lord, or have never given selflessly and sacrificially to the church or to others in need.

As Alcorn points out in his book, giving isn't celebrated nearly enough. Perhaps because it comes across as showy or disingenuous - who knows. But, we need to talk about it more than we do. I think churches are so worried that they are going to offend people by talking about money that they rarely, if ever, challenge people to do what God asks us to do - give to Him, give and share with others, and help the poor.

Maybe you aren't quite sure where or how to start. To borrow Nike's slogan, you need to "just do it." Thinking about it, talking about it, and praying about it are fine. But, at some point, you've got to DO it. Even if we're scared, even if we're not "joyful" initially, we have got to get over the hump and pass on financial blessings to others.

I've always felt that if someone has never given to God (to the church), they need to start somewhere. If they have never given a red cent, they should start by giving two or three percent of their income, and watch God bless it. For someone who has never given, two or three percent seems substantial.

But, Alcorn paints a different picture entirely. The tithe (ten percent of our gross income) is not the ceiling of giving, claims Alcorn. It's the floor. In the Old Testament, the tithe was the standard. Some people argue that when Jesus came on the scene, the tithe became irrelevant. It was no longer the standard. Well, that is partially true. Jesus did make mention of the tithe when referring to the religious leaders of the day, primarily pointing out that they were all about the "rules," but were not truly after God's heart.

Also, when we read about the first Church, there's no evidence of a "tithe." But, there is evidence of giving and sharing everything with everyone. So, once again, the tithe seems to have been exceeded in order to provide for everyone in need. As Alcorn comments, the bar was always raised after Jesus came on the scene; it was never lowered. So, the bar for giving would have been raised as well.

I'm going to include an excerpt from the book to illustrate how Alcorn views giving less than the Biblical standard (tithe):

"Some say, 'We'll take this gradually. We're starting with 5 percent.' But that's like saying, 'I used to rob six convenience stores per year. This year, by His grace, I'm going to rob only three.' The point is not to rob God less - it's not to rob God at all."

I can definitely see Alcorn's point of view. The bottom line is that God is going to bless you back to the degree you are willing to be a blessing to someone else. If you give 1 or 2 percent, God will still bless that. But, if you give 10 or 15 percent, He'll bless you monumentally more. And, what you need to know is that God LOVES to pour out His blessing!

So, don't wait until it "feels right" to give. Give, and watch God work in and through you. And, like anything else in life, the more you do it, the better you'll get at it!

Hypocrite, or Human?

2011-02-17T13:49:00.003-05:00

A while back, I read an intriguing book entitled unChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity...and Why it Matters, by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons. Essentially, the book uncovers the results of three years of exhaustive research done by Kinnaman and the Barna Group, the leading faith-based research firm in the world. The research centers around the opinions and beliefs of 16-29 year-olds who candidly share their negative feelings towards Christianity.

One of the most interesting chapters of the book deals with hypocrites. First, it's critical that we understand what the word hypocrite truly means. Dictionary.com defines hypocrite this way: a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess. It doesn't say that a hypocrite is someone who has a tough time with self-control, or who struggles with various forms of sin: pride, lust, self-righteousness, greed, substance abuse, etc.

Many of us confuse hypocrisy with disobedience. Hypothetically speaking, if I tell people that I am a Christian, but I have a problem with anger, I am not being a hypocrite. I am failing to live up to the perceived "Christian Standard" for one, but mostly I am just not living as Jesus wants me to live. I believe that treating people harshly is wrong, and it isn't what God wants...but, I struggle to live it out. It's only hypocrisy if I pretend to believe in Christ and what he's for, but don't really believe it in my heart.

Followers of Christ really do have a tough time living up to the “standards” that non-believers have set for them. Generally speaking, people who are not Christians expect that those who profess their faith in Jesus Christ will always be (or at least act) perfect. Sadly, a lot of these people are looking for Christians to make a mistake in order to harshly and unfairly criticize Christianity.

As Christians, we believe that lying is wrong. We believe being unfaithful to our spouse is wrong. We believe hurting people physically and emotionally is wrong. Yet, each and every day Christians do these things – and worse. We fail, we fall, we flounder. We make poor decisions and critical errors in judgment. But, are we hypocrites? Or, are we simply human?

This whole idea of acting like you believe something you really don't - true hypocrisy - is something Jesus strongly opposed. It angered him, because he saw the damage that the Pharisees were doing by setting unrighteous, self-righteous examples for the people they "led." But, Jesus saw right through the charade.

In Matthew 12, Jesus confronts the religious leaders of the day, and makes it clear to them that their actions and words do not line up with their beliefs. What they profess isn't matching up with the attitude of their hearts.

Then Jesus went over to their synagogue, where he noticed a man with a deformed hand. The Pharisees asked Jesus, “Does the law permit a person to work by healing on the Sabbath?” (They were hoping he would say yes, so they could bring charges against him.)
And he answered, “If you had a sheep that fell into a well on the Sabbath, wouldn’t you work to pull it out? Of course you would. And how much more valuable is a person than a sheep! Yes, the law permits a person to do good on the Sabbath.”

Then he said to the man, “Hold out your hand.” So the man held out his hand, and it was restored, just like the other one! Then the Pharisees called a meeting to plot how to kill Jesus. Matthew 12:9-14 (NLT)

If our heart is in the right place - following after the Lord - then He will change us from the inside out. Our actions will begin to line up with what we believe. And, the perceptions of others who don't know Christ yet will begin to change.

Until then, we'll be classified by millions of people as hypocrites - but only if we choose not to love as Jesus did - selflessly, and with eternity in mind.

Jackpot!

2011-02-15T11:42:00.002-05:00

"Jackpot!"

If you were born in the United States, this exclamation describes your arrival. You hit the jackpot. Of all the places you could have been born - Sudan, Mexico, Cuba, Iraq - you were fortunate enough to be a U.S. Citizen. The freedoms and opportunities available to you (compared to the rest of the world) are staggering. There's also that thing called capitalism. It allows you and me to make money doing virtually anything we want to do.

And, guess what. You're rich. I'm rich. Even if we don't FEEL rich, we have more than 95% of people in the world.

But, while you and I are blessed to live here in the U.S.A., God didn't put us right here just for our comfort and personal well-being. That shouldn't come as a surprise, especially when you take into account the person of Jesus Christ.

Jesus said, "Give, and it will be given to you." He didn't say, "Hoard, and it will be given to you." He told us to give. Why? Well, Jesus (being God), knows what's best for us. So, this is no exception.

As Alcorn writes, "The more you give, the more comes back to you, because God is the greatest giver in the universe, and He won't let you outgive Him."

Has there ever been someone who gave sacrificially to God who has regretted it? I doubt it. In fact, one of the primary regrets people have in their old age is that they wished they had given more generously.

A guy in my Bible study shared with me recently that just a couple years ago, his thriving business took a huge hit with the recession. At one point, he had 25-30 employees working for him. He said it got down to just him. And, even that wasn't looking too good.

He said in the midst of this struggle, he told his wife that they were really hurting for money. They needed God to come through. So, he wrote a check to the church for that week, and handed it to his wife. His wife's eyes opened as wide as saucers. "I thought you said we needed money," she said. "So, why did you write the check for more than we normally do?"

He replied, "God knows we need it. The more we give to Him, the more He's going to give it back to us. If we need more money, we've got to give Him more."

That blew me away. Who, in their "right mind" is going to give away more when their world is caving in on them? But, who ever said God wants us to be "right-minded"?

So, all of this leads us to Randy Alcorn's Treasure Principle Key #6: God prospers me, not to raise my standard of living, but to raise my standard of giving.

In those moments when you realize you have more than you need, ask yourself the question: "Why?"

It's not necessarily to buy that new car, gadget, toy, or vacation. Many times, He fills your cup to overflowing so you can pass along a blessing to someone else.

You see, it's rare that God sends a divine gift of cash to your mailbox by snapping His fingers. He won't wrinkle His nose or blink a new car or even a bag of groceries to your home. No, God uses people to do His work. I'm not sure why He chose to do things that way, but He did.

And, chances are, He wants to use you. You have something to offer that no one else does. You have unique relationships, and you have opportunities to help others. Others who are counting on God to come through. And, God will come through. But He wants to use you to make it happen!

Stuff's Got a Hold of Us

2011-02-07T14:47:00.002-05:00

OK. We're two-thirds of the way through Alcorn's keys to the Treasure Principle. Last time, we talked about living for the line (eternity) rather than the dot (the here and now). Easier said than done, I know.

The reason it's easier said than done is quite simple: we have a condition Alcorn calls "possession obsession." We are overly concerned with acquiring nice things - things that make us feel good.

As Alcorn points out, there's a PBS television program entitled Affluenza that delves into the problem of the "modern-day plague of materialism." Here are a few shocking stats this program unveils:

The average American shops six hours per week, while only spending 40 minutes playing with his children.
By age 20, we have seen one million commercials (perhaps fewer now with DVR)
Recently, more Americans declared bankruptcy than graduated from college.
In more than 90 percent of divorce cases, money plays a prominent role.

The TV program didn't argue against materialism on a moral basis. Instead, the program showed that having greater wealth didn't make people happier. In fact, it made them more miserable. Some of the wealthiest people in the 19th and 20th centuries all agreed that more money and prominence actually had a negative effect on them - John D. Rockefeller, W.H. Vanderbilt, Henry Ford, John Jacob Astor, Andrew Carnegie.

Most people (myself included) go overboard to protect their possessions. It takes a lot of mental and physical energy to maintain a possession's beauty. But, Randy Pausch didn't think that way. The late professor at Carnegie-Mellon University, in his famous "Last Lecture," talked about the time he purchased a brand new convertible, and drove it to his sister's house. Randy didn't have children at the time, but he had a nine year old niece and a seven year old nephew.

Before he took them for a ride in his brand new sports car, the mom warned the kids, "Be careful in Uncle Randy's new car. Wipe your feet before you get in. Don't mess anything up. Don't get it dirty."

But, Randy Pausch had something else in mind. "While my sister was outlining the rules, I slowly and deliberately opened a can of soda, turned it over, and poured it over the cloth seats in the back of the convertible. My message: people are more important than things. A car, even a pristine new car like my convertible, was just a thing."

Wow. I'm not there yet, but I hope to be someday.

So, how do I remove the cloak of materialism? How can I be less concerned with accumulating more stuff?

This brings us to Treasure Principle Key #5: Giving is the only antidote to materialism.

Says Alcorn, "As long as I still have something, I believe I own it. But, when I give it away, I relinquish control, power, and prestige...Giving breaks me free from the gravitational hold of money and possessions."

Perhaps C.S. Lewis summed it up best: "We are far too easily pleased."

Don't settle. Give - and give some more. And, see what true joy is really all about.

Dots and Lines

2011-02-03T10:25:00.003-05:00

How long will you live on this earth? 70 years? Maybe 80? The people who live the longest on this planet may make it to 100. Sounds like a long time, doesn't it?

Consider that up until Noah, men routinely lived into their 900's. Adam - THE Adam - the first man God created, lived until he was 930. He was fathering children in his 100's. If that sounds astounding, you may keel over when you hear that Noah was becoming a proud papa in his 500's. Whoa. As far as we know, Methuselah holds the honor of being the oldest man at 969.

But, even if you live a Methuselah-esque life of almost a thousand years, what is that in the span of eternity? God has been forever. I know, impossible to fathom. But, that's a long time. And, He will be forever. And, so will we.

Randy Alcorn proposed this exercise to help illustrate Treasure Principle Key #4: Get a pencil and a piece of paper. On the paper, make a dot. From the dot, draw a line extending out to the right. Draw an arrow on the end of the line. The dot - no matter how large or small - represents your life on earth. The line represents eternity.

Alcorn says, "Right now, we're living in the dot. But, what are we living for? The shortsighted person lives for the dot. The person with perspective lives for the line."

Treasure Principle Key #4 - I shall live, not for the dot, but for the line.

In my last post, I mentioned that virtually all stuff ultimately winds up in a yard sale or junk heap. The person who lives for the dot spends his or her time accumulating things that wind up in the trash. The person living for the line is accumulating eternal wealth in heaven.

As Alcorn states, "Giving is living for the line."

We know we cannot take it with us. So, we are faced with a tough decision: spend it now for temporary satisfaction, or invest it in the Kingdom by giving, and reaping eternal rewards.

The choice is yours: live for the dot, or live for the line.

Are You an Alien? I Am.

2011-01-31T13:58:00.004-05:00

Let's continue our journey through Randy Alcorn's great book entitled The Treasure Principle.

We've already talked about the first two "keys" to the Treasure Principle, but let's quickly recap:

Key #1 - God owns everything. I am just His money manager.
Key #2 - My heart always goes where I put God's money.

That brings us to the third "key." This one is equally profound, and also explains why we often hoard our possessions rather than sharing or giving them away.

Treasure Principle Key #3 - Heaven, not earth, is my home.

Well, not yet. But, one day.

Some of you may ask, "How can a place I've never been be my home?" Great question.

The thing is, we were made for heaven. We, as a species, have adapted well to living on this earth. But, God had heaven in mind when He created you. Read the following scriptures, and see if you can grasp this concept:

In the "Hall of Faith," Hebrews 11 speaks to the incredible faith that many of the stalwarts of the Old Testament (Moses, Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Jacob) had while they were living here: ¹³ All these people died still believing what God had promised them. They did not receive what was promised, but they saw it all from a distance and welcomed it. They agreed that they were foreigners and nomads here on earth. (NLT)

Consider Paul's words to the men and women at Caesarea Philippi:
²⁰ But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior. (Philippians 3:20 NLT)

Reading the Bible, we should understand that this world is not our ultimate destination. We're only here for a little while. So, why do we behave as though that isn't the case?

As Alcorn so aptly points out in his book, "Where we choose to store our treasures depends largely on where we think our home is."

Alcorn uses a simple, yet powerful illustration to reinforce this notion. Suppose you are going on a three-month business trip overseas. You reside in America, but you will spend the next several weeks in Europe, living in a hotel. You are told that you cannot bring anything back home with you on the airplane. You can, however, mail your paychecks back home.

Would you choose to extravagantly furnish your hotel or apartment in Europe? Would you spend tons of money on the finest linens? No. Why not? Because you are only living there temporarily. You would be wasting a lot of money because you couldn't take it with you.

Ever been to a yard sale? Estate sale? Flea market? Junkyard? Ever notice anything? At some point in time, someone thought these items were valuable - at least valuable enough to pay money for them. Computers, VCRs, TVs, treadmills, cell phones, furniture, gadgets, toys, you name it. But, where do they all wind up? In the junk pile.

We are blessed in the fact that God gives us things to enjoy. We have lots of entertainment. Great restaurants. Beautiful homes. Sleek automobiles. And, I believe God is OK with us getting pleasure out of these things. But, not at the expense of losing yourself and your vision of eternity.

Remember, those of us who are followers of Jesus Christ don't belong here. We're just here for a little while, then God will take us to the place we were designed to be.

Heart Follows Head

2011-01-25T15:05:00.002-05:00

It's romantic to say, "I'll follow my heart." But, if we're honest, it rarely, if ever happens that way.

Generally speaking, our hearts follow the decisions that our minds make. This is particularly true when it comes to money.

And, this truth brings us to Randy Alcorn's Treasure Principle Key #2: My heart always goes where I put God's money.

We've already established that God owns everything - including money. So, we're past debating that (Well, I am. I cannot speak for you). Now, Alcorn is stating that our hearts will naturally be inclined to follow after our money.

Think about it. All a person has to do is look at your checkbook register, or your collection of receipts, to find out where your true interests and passions lie. We spend money on the things that matter most to us.

If you're smart, you have money in mutual funds for your 401(k). While you likely will not touch that money until you're in your 60's, you are very interested to see how the funds are performing. Or, if you were to go to a broker and purchase some shares of Berkshire-Hathaway stock, you'd be scanning the ticker constantly to see if your investment is paying off (of course, my next question would be, "How in the heck did you come up with $123,000 for ONE share of that stock?!?!).

For my family, we invest in a few things. First, we invest in God's Kingdom by tithing and giving offerings over and above the tithe (a tithe is ten percent of our gross annual income). We give this gift to God, not only because He asks us to, but also because He guarantees a blessing will come along with it. We also support the University of Georgia - both Athletically and Academically - through annual gifts. We also support friends who go on mission trips. And, perhaps to a fault, we spend a healthy percentage on vacations with our kids.

So, there it is. If you look at our bank accounts, you'd see the same thing - we give to God, to the Dawgs, and to making great memories with our kids. Plus, we eat out a bunch, and I coach baseball, so we have to buy all kinds of sports equipment. But, for the most part, these are our investments.

Which also means, these are the places you'll find our hearts.

Jesus said, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will also be."

Where is YOUR treasure? And, where is your heart? You'll likely find them in the same place.

First Things First

2011-01-24T15:38:00.003-05:00

I've been reading The Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn. Essentially, the book is a simple, straightforward guide to "unlocking the secret to joyful giving."

I'm not quite halfway through the book, but I have to admit that I am really enjoying it. Alcorn explains things in such a way that Biblical truths do not come across as "high and mighty" or "holier than thou." He doesn't lay a guilt trip on the reader who doesn't give. Instead, he explains not only why we should give, but also the many benefits that go along with it.

But, first things are first. Before we ever think about GIVING, we must recognize who is the one true owner of all the "stuff" in the world.

Treasure Principle Key #1 - God owns everything. I am His money manager.

God created everything. By everything, I mean EVERY thing. He loved us so much that He even created a bunch of stuff to give us pleasure. But, we must be responsible stewards of the stuff He's allowed us to use during our time here on earth.

King David agreed. When he was leading the mother of all stewardship campaigns for the Temple that his son, Solomon, would ultimately build, he was overwhelmed with God's love. He expressed gratitude to God for allowing him to be just a small part of His overall plan:

¹¹ Yours, O Lord, is the greatness, the power, the glory, the victory, and the majesty. Everything in the heavens and on earth is yours, O Lord, and this is your kingdom. We adore you as the one who is over all things. ¹² Wealth and honor come from you alone, for you rule over everything. Power and might are in your hand, and at your discretion people are made great and given strength.
¹³ “O our God, we thank you and praise your glorious name! ¹⁴ But who am I, and who are my people, that we could give anything to you? Everything we have has come from you, and we give you only what you first gave us! ¹⁵ We are here for only a moment, visitors and strangers in the land as our ancestors were before us. Our days on earth are like a passing shadow, gone so soon without a trace.
¹⁶ “O Lord our God, even this material we have gathered to build a Temple to honor your holy name comes from you! It all belongs to you! ¹⁷ I know, my God, that you examine our hearts and rejoice when you find integrity there. You know I have done all this with good motives, and I have watched your people offer their gifts willingly and joyously. (1 Chronicles 29:11-17 NLT)

So, before we spend, save, or squander, let's make sure we understand that it all belongs to God. That car. That house. That iPhone. That iPad. That chair. That laptop. That child. That spouse. All of it. Then, thank Him for allowing you to enjoy these things, if even for just a short while.

Exhale

2011-01-21T09:37:00.002-05:00

I don't know why I expect that everything is going to come up roses. I'm not sure why I believe things are supposed to go my way every time. I cannot understand how it came to be that I think I should be immune to adversity.

But, I must. Because when these things happen, I don't like it too much. I often get defensive, and like any great lawyer, I begin to build my case. I claw, scrape, analyze, research - do everything I feel I need to in order to "win" my argument.

One of the things that helps me get through trials is a deep breath, followed by a slow exhale. I've found that I've been doing this quite a bit lately.

The last few months have been perhaps the most emotionally and intellectually draining time in my life. But, as John Ortberg (my favorite Christian author) points out, these taxing moments and difficult times not only show us what we're made of, they are also the times when God is trying to grow us on the inside.

In the midst of the battle, it's tough to see that God is doing great work. Even if I am aware that He's at work, and that He is preparing me for something fantastic, it usually not much consolation. Typically, that is because I'm focused on the junk I'm dealing with rather than any potential positive outcome beyond the present moment.

Jesus told his disciples, "In this world you will have trouble. But, take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33 NIV)

And, no matter how many conversations I have, how much I analyze, research, debate, or put up defenses, the ONLY thing that can truly bring me peace is knowing in my heart that Jesus has already won the one true battle that matters most.

Think You're God's Gift? You May be Right!

2010-12-15T08:15:00.001-05:00

We’re self-centered, aren’t we? I mean, it’s incredibly difficult not to be consumed with ourselves most of the time. After all, we’re us. We live our lives, not others’. We look to fulfill our desires and needs much of the time, only looking to the needs of others when it’s convenient or when we can personally benefit from it. We strut our stuff, and believe we’re God’s gift to the world. What we fail to realize is how right we actually are.

I’ve been participating in a small group study entitled “iMarriage,” that was authored by Andy Stanley. Essentially, the study focuses on the tension between our desires and our expectations as it pertains to the marriage relationship. But, truly, the principles in the study are relevant and applicable for relationships outside of marriage, not just between husband and wife.

Perhaps the most profound message I have received through this study is what Andy said about how God uses us in relationships with others. He explains that God looks at us as a channel of His goodness, love, grace and mercy to others. When we accept Christ, we become pure and holy in His sight. That’s because He has washed away our sins, canceled our debts. In turn, we need to be loving, serving, and giving to others. Not because they deserve it. But, because God does that for us – even though we don’t deserve it!

So, that certainly raises the bar on our role in each and every relationship we have with another human being. Basically, God has given us as a gift to another. That’s right – we are literally God’s gift to mankind. He has chosen us to bless other people. But, here’s the kicker – we must do it unconditionally. We cannot have strings attached. We cannot have ulterior motives. Sure, we can hope that by serving people and giving more that we’ll have a positive influence, but we cannot stop serving, giving, and loving if we never see the desired outcome.

With it being Christmas, there’s really no better time to come to this realization: you need to give yourself away. And, don’t wait until you “feel like doing it” to do it. That’s the fatal error we make all too often. We hold back blessings because our heart just isn’t in it. But, as it has been said before, go ahead and do what is right, and the feeling will follow.

We each have immeasurable influence in the lives of others. We have numerous opportunities each and every day to lighten someone’s load, offer an encouraging word, give selflessly of our own resources, or do something intentional to help someone else. They may not deserve it. They are likely flawed. Perhaps they have fouled up one too many times. But, you know what? You were there once, and you could be there again. The difference is you have the privilege to help them overcome it.

I’d like to invite you to join me in doing something this holiday season. I’d like you to take a $20 bill and put it in your wallet or your pocket. Then, I’d like you to pray daily for someone who could really use that $20. And, sometime over the next week or two, I want you to give that money away, preferably to an individual that you encounter. Don’t worry about whether or not it’s the “right person.” When you give that $20 away, you are giving a gift. No strings. No stipulations. Don’t worry about how it will be spent. Do it joyfully.

And, with humility – not pride – be confident in knowing that you are truly God’s gift to others. As Max Lucado once wrote, “God’s greatest gift is Himself.” And, this Christmas, He’d like nothing more than to use you to deliver that precious gift to someone else.

Miserable Old Codgers

2010-11-10T16:07:00.002-05:00

Perhaps my favorite quote of all-time was uttered by George Will, author and Pulitzer Prize winning political commentator: “The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.”

I feel this quote sums up my attitude for the first 30-plus years of my life. This is exactly how I lived. I always expected the worst and hoped for the best. This mentality always allowed me to say, “See, I told you so.” And, at worst, if I was wrong, then any positive outcome was just a bonus.

Always having a negative outlook on life may be an easier way to live, but it’s certainly not a better way to live. If you’ve spent any time around miserable old codgers, you know how widespread the claws of pessimism can reach. I had to put up with one recently myself, and it truly opened my eyes to how it can adversely affect people around you.

Amy and I, and our two boys, went out to Boulder, Colorado last month for the UGA-Colorado football game. Now, I am the first to say that this season has been a huge disappointment for Dawg fans. Nevertheless, most Dawg fans are loyal, and will stick with the team through thick and thin. But, every fan base has “those” kinds of fans – the ones that get under your skin. The ones who cannot find anything to cheer about. The ones who make the game miserable for everyone around them. That is who I had the misfortune of sitting in front of in Boulder.

Despite the fact that we were actually leading the game at halftime, this guy – probably around 65 years of age – insisted on complaining about everything. “Grantham is a $2.5 million dollar mistake,” he shouted at the top of his lungs. “Bobo needs to go! I hope they leave him here in Colorado!” He booed the officials after every single call. He even booed Bill McCartney, the coach of Colorado’s 1990 National Football team, when he was introduced during a ceremony. And, for me, that was the last straw. I couldn’t take it anymore.
I turned to this guy, and as politely and as under control as I could, I asked, “Can you find anything at all positive to say? Because I am really getting tired of hearing nothing but negative. I’m just wondering if you can find something good to say.”

The man had his arms folded, and had a smirk on his face. “Maybe,” he said. “I might. We’ll see.”

And, while he wasn’t as outspoken about his disdain for all things except A.J. Green, the guy continued to focus on the negative aspects of the game. At one point, we were up by three points, and were on the 10-yard line, 3rd Down and Goal to go. A.J. Green wasn’t on the field, and the guy started screaming about how bad our offense was, and how the Offensive Coordinator only knew five plays he could call. Well, on the very next play, Aaron Murray hit Marlon Brown across the middle for a touchdown! I caught the guy out of the corner of my eye, and he had his arms still crossed, and wasn’t high-fiving like the rest of us.

I turned to Amy and said sarcastically, “I’m sure Bobo probably didn’t call that play. He must only call the plays that don’t work.”

That poor guy’s wife sat there quietly for most of the game. She was embarrassed and ashamed. And, the one time she spoke up to ask him to stop “being that way,” he scolded her and said, “Don’t you talk to me that way.”

Hopefully, this story doesn’t describe you. If it does, I encourage you to do your very best to keep your negativity to yourself, and try – just TRY – to find some silver lining in the situation. You might even turn your scowl into a smile, and multiply that positive attitude into a winning result!

Choose Your Path

2010-09-22T15:38:00.005-04:00

I went through the McDonald's drive-thru on the way to the office this morning. I grabbed a sausage McGriddle and decided to try the new Caramel Iced Coffee. McGriddle, good. Iced coffee, not so much.

Anyway, this particular McDonald's has a drive-thru that, if you really want to, you can pull in off the main road and maneuver your vehicle over to the left and avoid having to drive ALL THE WAY AROUND the restaurant. I mean, who has an extra 10 seconds to do that?

But, I am really trying to be more patient these days, and I wanted to "follow the rules" by going through the process as it was intended.

So, what happens? You guessed it. I am approaching the speaker to place my order at the big board, and someone has the gall to cut me off and "break" in line without going around the building like I did. I thought, "So THAT'S the thanks I get for being a good guy!"

My initial reaction would normally be to wave my arms or pound my steering wheel. I mean, not only did the guy cut me off, but he was in a huge SUV with two canoes strapped to the top, and was pulling a trailer full of baby "must-haves" for vacation - massive stroller, baby beach bubble, pack-n-play, etc. It would have been much easier for him to go around the building...but nooooo...he had to get that McMuffin pronto!

I calculated that I would have gotten through the line about three minutes sooner if that family had not pulled in front of me. Three minutes may not seem like a lot, but it's an eternity when you're Jonesing for a bite of that warm, syrup-oozing McGriddle.

In those three minutes, I think I may have grown as a person. I realized that it must have been more important for him to order before I did. Perhaps his baby was screaming in the back, or maybe his wife was urging him to hurry, or maybe he needed his McGriddle as badly as I did. The point is, I was actually able to chuckle and let it go. I didn't allow it to ruin my day, and it didn't fester.

I had a choice. I could have created a scene - made gestures or barked at him. But, I chose grace instead - and it was difficult, lemme tell you. But it was the right choice.

You never know the potential ripple effect you have in a situation like that. So, I opted to stop the ripples right there. Maybe I even started some positive ripple action. Who knows.

But, next time I won't drive all the way around the building.

Built to Last

2010-08-11T09:18:00.002-04:00

It’s easy to be a critic. You just make judgments about people, places, events (or anything else) with little or no facts. And, you base this opinion almost solely on what does or does not appeal to you personally. Typically, we reserve the harshest criticism for the people and organizations in which we have the least amount of personal investment. The Church is no exception.

The Church has endured brutally negative words and actions since, well, right after Christ ascended into heaven around 33 A.D. Church was obviously God’s idea, because I am not sure any institution could have endured such trials to ultimately become such a widespread phenomenon.

Think about it: 12 guys were left to start The Church. They started from scratch. And, the church then was not a building, but people in certain geographic locations who came together and “devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer (Acts 2:42).” So, they did four primary things: they listened to preaching, they hung out together, they observed Holy Communion, and they prayed. That was The Church.

Apparently, it was effective, because churches started popping up all over the place: Corinth, Caesarea Philippi, Thessalonica, Rome, Galatia, Colosse, Ephesus, and eventually across all of Europe, Asia, and to North America in the 1600’s. It has been an unstoppable force, despite the efforts of many to thwart it.

Like anything that has survived for thousands of years, The Church has adapted. Church today is not like it was in the First Century. It’s not like it was in 1600, 1800, or even 1980. I am thankful for that. Creativity and innovation have helped keep Jesus’ story fresh to millions of new believers each year. Different songs, different buildings, different outreach techniques, same God.

And, with change comes criticism. I have had a few exchanges with folks over the past few years about The Church. What the Church is, what it isn’t, what it should be, what it shouldn’t be. Perhaps the harshest critic with whom I have spoken in that time only darkened the doors of my church twice before he began explaining to me everything we were doing wrong, and how it didn’t align with his personal philosophy on evangelism. He referred to my church as “the program,” and said we only want to fill seats and take people’s money. He said there were no opportunities to serve (where he wanted to serve) and that we were all about “show.”

Because he didn’t attend more than two times, he never knew how we serve schools, help businesses, send teams of missionaries to foreign countries, clothe families, provide reading glasses for kids, work concession stands for parents, deliver lunches to the poor, do laundry for MUST, give turkeys and groceries for Thanksgiving, adopt families at Christmas. All he saw was “the program.” And, in the end, that is because he made the decision to not get involved and show God’s love to others.

That is what the Church is about: serving others, learning more about who Jesus is and how to become more like Him, gathering with friends, remembering Christ’s sacrifice on our behalf, and praying for everyone and everything.

Church should be simple. Not easy, but simple. I think too many times we complicate things and make it easy for the critics to throw stones. But, if we’ll stick to the plan that God laid out through the early church, we’ll continue to persevere and bring His Good News to many more thirsty and hungry people in the years to come.

Let's Make a Deal

2010-06-24T09:18:00.006-04:00

If someone offered you the opportunity to stay the same age, and never grow older, you’d take it, right? No strings attached, no selling your soul to the devil, no caveat. Just accept this offer, and no more. I would!

But, for some reason, my kids won’t accept this deal. Every so often, Amy and I will say the following to our now 10 and 6-year old sons: “No getting bigger or older, OK? Just stay this size and age forever. Is that a deal?”

They don’t even consider it. They immediately shoot this idea down! They’re in a hurry to grow up, while we (adults) are desperately swimming upstream against the painfully swift current of time.

Father’s Day has just passed, and as I think about being a dad, I am overjoyed. I never knew exactly how fulfilling a role that Fatherhood would play in my life. And, I never knew how quickly the days, weeks, and years would fly by. It’s moments like these when I have to take a big breath and try not to think about what life will be like without my boys in the house every day. Deep breath.

I understand that my kids are “only” 10 and 6, and that I have several years to go before they are out of the house. But, that is little consolation when I can already see so much in the rearview mirror. After next year, one of them will be in middle school. Yikes!

There’s a laundry list of things I get to do with my kids that will vanish in the years to come: reading bedtime stories, kneeling and saying prayers together before turning out the light, practices and games at the ballpark, homework and school projects, shooting hoops in the driveway, playing on the playground, hearing that lovable “kid laughter” throughout the house when they are playing nice together, Disney World vacations (OK, maybe not Disney – we’ll never outgrow that!).

And, with each day that passes that list grows longer, and my time with them becomes even briefer. So, what can I do about it? How can I preserve this time and squeeze out every last drop? Simple: I continue being their dad.

What I mean is this: instead of lamenting the fact that they are growing up too fast, I continue to do what I have been doing. Some parents get to a point where they cease being their kids’ parents and try too hard to become their “friends.” They ease off the brakes and allow their kids to hit the accelerator. “I don’t want my kids to grow up hating me,” some parents say to themselves. So, they do the very thing that will result in their kids losing respect for them – they stop parenting.

I remember hearing some sage advice several years ago from a guy at our church. His sons and daughter are now in their late 20’s and early 30’s, but as he reflected back on his life, he made this comment: “I made the decision to be their parent and to make tough choices and to discipline them when they were young, so I could be their friend when they got older.”

So, that is what I will do. I will cherish these precious moments, but I will be relentless in my role as “Dad” to disciple them, lead them, encourage them, correct them, and love them.

And, in the end, I believe God will honor this, and will bless my boys and me with an incredible friendship for decades to come.

Now, THAT is a deal I can’t pass up!

By Default, or By Design?

2010-06-09T10:48:00.001-04:00

I wouldn’t classify myself as “control freak,” but in many ways I do want to have a say-so in what I am going to do, and how I am going to do it. I guess the fact of the matter is that I ultimately trust myself more than I trust someone else to determine my path. But, not only my path – my kids’ paths as well.

I’m going to get straight to the point. I believe one of the major problems with the world is that we have a bunch of scaredy cats running around with no idea where they are going. There’s no target they are aiming for. No goals to be accomplished. No process in place to get them or their families where they need to be – financially, emotionally, spiritually, or physically. These are the people that just let life “happen.”

Priorities are out of whack all around us. It can be sickening. We can make just about any decision seem like the right one, can’t we? We rationalize. But, as Rick Warren once said, when we rationalize, we are feeding ourselves a “ration of lies.” Parents choosing their jobs and financial “security” over their kids or spouse. Kids choosing a false sense of acceptance over doing what is right, what is best. Business owners choosing the almighty dollar over consumer and employee loyalty.

Several weeks ago, a friend of mine was speaking at church. He made the following comment: “It takes no effort to drift.” When you jump into the ocean, splash in the waves, and hop on the boogie board, where do you end up? Usually, you wind up 40 or 50 yards down the beach from where you entered the water. And it takes a ton of effort on our part to fight the current that pulls us away.

It’s no different on land in the “real world.” We have to plant our feet firmly into the ground and take a stand. We have to be intentional with every move, every step. If not, we drift. And, the further we drift, the less likely we are to fight our way back.

Many have no sense of purpose or mission, and lack any direction at all in their lives. Generally, these people “want” certain things – to become wealthy, to be a good mom, or to work in a certain profession. They stand at Point A, occasionally dreaming about Point B, but lacking the discipline and initiative to ever make the necessary changes to get to their preferred destination.

It’s why people don’t put away money for retirement. They choose to spend what they earn here and now, sacrificing their futures all the while. They have this idea that one day they will take it easy, travel, buy a vacation home. But how? It’s no wonder that nearly 1/3 of Americans’ current retirement plan is to “win the lottery.”

Perhaps you have a vision for your kids to really become something special one day. You want them to be well-educated, have impeccable manners, be physically fit, have a profound impact on others. In order for you to help pave the way for 20 years into the future, you’ll need to make some changes now. You’ll have to scrutinize and alter the TV shows they watch, who they hang out with, the types of music they listen to, the way they talk to others, the way you talk to them, what they wear, what they eat, how much effort they put into their studies. If your son listens to heavy metal, stays up until 1 a.m. watching WWE wrestling, talks back and shows disrespect, looks like a slob, eats and drinks whatever he wants, and rarely studies, you can probably guess where he’ll end up in 10-20 years. And, in order to prevent that, you’ll have to do the tough things now.

Otherwise, you’ll continue to drift – and so will he. So, choose to live your life by design, not by default. Your future – any probably others’ – hangs in the balance.

More Than a Feeling

2010-04-28T15:56:00.000-04:00

My alarm buzzes at 6:35 a.m. I’m tired. I hit the snooze. My alarm buzzes again. I have to get out of bed. But, I don’t feel like it. I do it anyway. My kids need to be at school on time, and I have a responsibility as an employee to be at my place of work at 8 a.m.

I’ve been at the ballpark every night this week, and have logged more than 12 hours coaching and attending games for my kids. We have practice scheduled for tonight. I am beat, and I have so many things I need to do around the house. I don’t feel like going to the field again. But, I go anyway. I made a commitment to my son and to ten other kids and their parents to volunteer my time to help them improve and have fun on the baseball diamond.

It’s been a long day. An eight-hour work day, baseball and homework with the kids. I am reminded at 9:30 p.m. that it’s trash night. Oof. I am exhausted, and I don’t feel like getting the trash together and making the 250-foot uphill trek to my curb with a 95-gallon wheeled container. But, I do it anyway. I pay a fee for waste disposal, and I don’t want it to pile up for another week.

These are just three out of probably a dozen or more “I don’t feel like it” episodes in a day in my life. These are relatively mild examples, but what about when more is on the line?

I pick up my kids after work. I want peace and quiet. They want to play and carry on. I want to lie down and prop up my feet. They want to play football or baseball (or both) in the front yard. But, I don’t feel like it. I could go for some R & R. But, I go outside anyway. I only get one shot at being my kids’ dad, and these moments are priceless and fleeting. I revel in their energy and joyous spirit, and know it was the right decision.

I have been married to my wife for 13 years. I know she loves me, and she knows I love her. I don’t always “feel” loved, and I don’t often feel that same “in love” feeling we had very early in our relationship. I could easily use this as an excuse to go out and try to fabricate these feelings in the wrong places, doing things I shouldn’t be doing with people I have no business being around. But, I don’t. I made a vow to Amy that I would be with her always. Each day I make the choice to love her – not because it FEELS right, but because it IS right.

Believe it or not, I don’t always feel like opening my Bible or preparing for my small group study or going to God in prayer. I am not riding an emotional high that has swept me up off my feet. No, I’d prefer sometimes to do something else. And, when I’m not overcome with the Holy Spirit and get the warm fuzzies, I don’t get discouraged and go looking for God in other places. God – through Jesus’ death and resurrection – now dwells within me ALL the time. He is a part of me. So, I don’t have to go looking for Him someplace else.

In the end, wise decisions are not based on feelings. Perhaps they can be influenced by them, but by and large we should honor commitments and do the things that really matter because they ARE right, not just because they FEEL right. Love, selflessness, sacrifice, gratitude, generosity, humility, and honor do not come easy. Each requires an intentional choice on our part. Don’t wait until you FEEL like being noble to be noble. Do it despite feeling self-centered and hard-hearted. If you do it enough, you’ll be surprised at how your wise choices will help shape you into the person you’ve wanted to become all along.

Man on a Mission

2010-03-30T09:53:00.004-04:00

I had the privilege this morning to see and hear a man I truly admire: UGA Head Football Coach Mark Richt.

Coach took the stage and almost immediately, he dove into what he wanted to share. Coach Richt said, "I am 50 years old now. And, one of the things I have learned to do as I have gotten older is to get right to the point."

From there, Coach Richt shared the passage out of Luke, where the resurrected Jesus is walking along the road to Emmaus with two of his disciples. Coach shared how these two men were dejected because their savior was "dead," and there were not sure what to do. But, Jesus walks a little longer with them, and ultimately reveals himself to the disciples, once again filling them with hope, and proving that he is who he said he was. Coach shared why he has chosen to put his faith in Jesus Christ.

The first reason is because of the hundreds of prophesies we read about in the Old Testament that were all fulfilled when Jesus came into the world, and ultimately paid the price for our sin.

The second reason, Coach Richt shared, was because of the passion and conviction with which Jesus' disciples lived their lives after he ascended into heaven. Because they trusted God more than the religious authorities of the day, all but one of Jesus' disciples died horrific deaths - stoned, crucified, imprisoned, beaten. Coach said there's no way someone would choose the harsh life or death that these disciples endured unless he or she was absolutely certain that what they were saying was the truth.

Finally, Coach Richt said the primary reason that he put his faith in Christ is because he came the realization that he was (is) a sinner. He was confronted with the fact that without God in his life, there is no true peace. And, the only way to have that peace is to invite Jesus - God's one and only son - into his life to cover his sin, and allow him to have a relationship with his Heavenly Father.

It was a simple message, but was right on the money. And, with it being Passion Week, it came at the perfect time. On this same Tuesday nearly 2000 years ago, Jesus was only three days away from being humiliated, tortured, and crucified. All so you and I could be reunited with God in heaven when we die.

This gift, too, can be yours when you choose to invite Christ into your heart. If you've never done it before, just lift up this simple prayer to God right now:

God, I know that I am a sinner, and I have fallen short of your best for my life. But, today, I want to change that. I acknowledge that your son - Jesus - was brought to this earth so that he could die for my sins. I thank you so much for his sacrifice, and I invite him into my life today to be my Lord and Savior. I don't want to live for myself any longer. I want to live for you. Thank you for saving me.

May this Easter be the most meaningful and joy-filled Easter you have ever experienced!

The "S" Word

2010-03-09T16:16:00.002-05:00

No, not that "S" word. Or, THAT "S" word. Not Spurrier either. I'm talking about an "S" word that I fear people do not truly comprehend: Sacrifice.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines the word sacrifice as follows: To forfeit (one thing) for another thing considered to be of greater value. And, as much as we like to toss around this word, the painful truth is this: we consider ourselves to be of greater value than others.

If we didn't, we would embrace sacrifice. We would look for opportunities to give up more for the benefit of others. We'd spend less, we'd serve more, we'd give more, we'd love more. We'd let Johnnie over in front of us in bumper to pumper traffic.

Some equate the word sacrifice with inconvenience. According to Dictionary.com, inconvenience is "something that causes discomfort, trouble, etc." And, while a sacrifice may result in our discomfort at times, it shouldn't be regarded as a negative term.

But, we make it seem negative, don't we? When we are faced with actually having to make sacrifices, we lament. We gripe. We mope. And, after lamenting, griping, and moping, we convince ourselves that sacrificing isn't worth all the self-imposed grief. So we take a step back up the ladder, often times stepping on others' fingers.

The adversary to sacrifice is entitlement. It’s on the other end of the spectrum. It’s when we believe we deserve the best, almost always at the expense of others. The Apostle Paul had something else – something far better - in mind. Check this out:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. Philippians 2:3-5 (NIV)

I bolded two things there: (1) We are told to think of others as better than us. Say what? Somebody’s better than me? More important than me? You’re asking the wrong questions. Paul says to “consider.” So, instead of asking ourselves if we’re being overlooked, we should ask ourselves if we’re considering others.
(2) Consideration is an action that is dictated by our attitude. Jesus only considered one thing when He was on earth: his Father’s will, which meant loving and serving others to the extreme.

Jesus had something much better in mind when he came to earth. He viewed sacrifice as an opportunity to glorify His Father. He knew that by decreasing himself, others would increase - and ultimately God Himself would be reflected in his actions.

But, by sending His son to earth, God also knew there was a cost. He was giving up (forfeiting) His only son temporarily for "another thing considered to be of greater value" - you and me.

We don't have to die a physical, tormented death in order to sacrifice for others, but we do have "die to self" in many respects. You and I have opportunities each and every day to make choices that affect the lives of countless others - whether we realize it or not.

It's not easy, but it's rewarding. And sacrificing is a great way to remind ourselves that it's not about us. It's about God, and it's about others. Others who don't know Him, or may have walked away from Him. And, we have the ability to bridge that gap by putting ourselves aside and giving people a better view of the One who loves them most.

Three Times a Lady

2010-02-09T15:58:00.002-05:00

Ahhh…love is in the air. Cupid has drawn his bow. Pepe Le Pew is getting his smooch on. “C’est L’Amour!”

To be honest, I really don’t get into the whole Valentine’s Day deal. The best part about it is spending a meal alone with my wife – quietly, with no kicking, squirming, or arguing from our two boys. It’s the simple pleasures that you really cling to.

But, even though I am generally not a romantic guy (I do like to plan trips with my wife, but I am terrible about saying “mushy” things to her), I would like to dedicate this month’s article to Amy, the love of my life. So, without further ado, here are the three things I love most about my wife.

(1) My wife loves God more than anything. I am a pastor at a church, and I am the spiritual leader of my household. But, both of these responsibilities are SO much easier, and are enriched because Amy loves the Lord with all her heart. When I hear her sing in the services on Sundays, it really tenders my heart and fills it with gladness. When I walk in on her reading a daily devotional, it motivates me to thirst after God even more myself. When she serves selflessly in the nursery at church, it reminds me how much of a servant she really is, and that she does it because she is serving the way Jesus served. Is Amy a saint? No. She simply loves God, and it shows in all that she does.

(2) Amy goes the extra mile – always. You could never out-do Amy. Not that it’s a competition, but Amy will always do more than what is expected of her. Professionally, she is almost always the first one to arrive at work in the morning (she gets there by 6:45 a.m.), and often leaves at 5:30-6:00 p.m. Is it overwhelming for her? Yes – many times it is. But, she does all things with excellence. When we’re supposed to only provide a side dish for a gathering, Amy will not only make the side dish, but she’ll also throw together a delicious dessert and a pitcher of sweet tea. She hand-made 155 Christmas cards this year, working easily 40-50 hours on them, and staying up until 2:30 a.m. some nights. In case, you are wondering – YES, I helped. Some.

(3) She loves me, and more importantly, makes it very clear that she does. Some men and women never communicate their love and affection to one another, except by signing a birthday card or anniversary card, “Love, Larry.” And, that is a shame. On the other end of the spectrum is Amy. She is always demonstrating her love for me – with her words and her actions. She cannot get enough hugs and kisses (I need to improve in this area). In fact, “physical touch” is one of her primary love languages. Unlike some wives, she wants to be with me as much as possible. We do stuff together all the time – trips, movies, Bible study groups, you name it. We really DO “do life” together. And, that is my primary love language – quality time. When I give her the love and affection she needs, she is eager to want to do things for me. Funny how that works.

I could ramble on about all the other qualities I adore in my wife, but this is a snapshot of the blessing God gave me more than 13 years ago when I married my best friend. My prayer for you this Valentine’s Day is that you will show AND tell the love of your life exactly what you appreciate about them. Trust me, it will pay off for you, too!

Who Needs Church?

2010-02-04T08:12:00.003-05:00

We had a special guest at our staff meeting yesterday. His name is Allen Hunt, host of the Allen Hunt Show, which airs locally on AM 750 on Saturday and Sunday evenings. Allen's show blends faith and "real life," and is one of the most interesting call-in shows on the air today. MUCH more intriguing than Sean Hannity, if you ask me.

As business leader and author Patrick Lencioni once said, "We don't need to learn more and become more educated. What we really need are reminders." And, that's what Allen did for all of us in attendance yesterday.

A few days ago, Allen was talking on-air about the report that had come out stating that President Obama had only attended church three times in his first year in office. This is a man who attended church in Chicago quite regularly over the previous 20 years. But, having become the "most important" official in the world has evidently precluded him from being an active part of the church.

Allen said callers came flooding in. Some said they were "proud" to have a President who didn't go to church, who didn't "need" God, and who was "his own" man.

But, Allen said the majority of callers were so-called Christians who said they didn't believe Obama needed church, just like they didn't need church. "All I need is Jesus," many of them said. "As long as I have Jesus in my life, I don't need church."

Really? I mean, if that was true, would Jesus had left the church for us? Would he have changed Simon's name to Peter, saying, "Upon this rock I will build my church"? The church is known as the Bride of Christ. It's the body of Christ. And, as Allen pointed out, in the New Testament, the church is referenced as family more than 200 times.

All that said, here are some things Allen shared with us:

For someone who has accepted Christ, church is not an elective. It is essential. Giving up church would be the equivalent of giving up your family or oxygen.
Max Lucado said, "The church is God's forever family."
Church and faith are team sports, not individual ones.
Love is both a unifying and separating force. It unifies those who belong to Jesus, but sets us apart from the world.
People WILL find any substitute for a loving family!

The evidence that God has left for us revealing His plan for the church, as you may guess, is in His Word - the Bible. Time after time, we see the believers engaging in authentic community with one another - unity, fellowship, sharing, and communion. This unity has a name: koinonia. It's when Christ's followers engage with one another, sharing in his sufferings, in his glory, in his godly nature, in the breaking of bread, in teaching, in serving, in loving.

Allen added tons of other insights, but one more I'll mention briefly is this: we are God's poem. Each of us is only a letter or punctuation mark. If it's just a few of us, we may be able to form a word or phrase. But, when all of us come together - and become the church - God forms a beautiful Masterpiece that is unlike anything else on earth. And, that was His intent from the beginning.

Nothing Fashionable about Being Late

2010-01-11T09:46:00.003-05:00

I hate being late. I don't even like being "on time." I prefer to have a cushion, arriving for an appointment or an event in plenty of time to give me some margin.

When I am late, everything changes. Especially my mood. It becomes rotten, and it will likely not only spoil MY evening, but perhaps yours, if we cross paths. So, I avoid being late at all costs. I'd much prefer to get there early than to make my problem yours.

I would wager that most (not all) people feel the same way. Being late compromises their "plan." Hurry will do that. When we hurry, we skip over things that deserve more of our time, and we make everything - and everyone - miserable in our wake.

Let's apply this in the church world for a moment. I am fortunate to be on staff at a church that really has a lot going for it. We have energy, life, vitality. And, because of that, space has now become an issue. That being said, parking spaces and seats are now in short supply.

So, if you are me, and you don't like being late, and you don't like fighting for a parking spot or for a seat, I have some choices to make. I can either show up really early - say, 30 minutes before the services begin, and ensure that I get a seat and a parking spot. Or, I can just jump into the sea and let the waves carry me wherever they want to take me.

Our church services begin at 9:30 and 11 a.m. If I choose to show up at church any time after 9:25 a.m. for the 9:30 service, I am in trouble. Likewise, if I show up after 10:50 a.m. or so. Keep in mind that if I arrive 10 minutes early, I still have to find a parking space, walk to the building, take my kids to their classrooms, then find a seat in the auditorium. Can I do all that in 5 minutes? No way. Could I do it in 10 minutes? Maybe, but I'd still be rushed, which will put me in a bad mood. SO, my best bet is to arrive at least 20 minutes early and be certain that I can get it all done with a few minutes to spare.

It still surprises me that we have cars drive up 15 and 20 minutes after the service begins. I'm glad they are there, but many of these people expect to find a parking spot close to the building and a seat in the worship center at this time, and they are upset when there's not.

Further, it's just plain rude. Imagine if you had an important meeting at work that began at 10:00 a.m. Everyone is there except one person, who arrives 20 minutes late. What happens when that person walks in? There's a distraction. The person delivering the message is distracted, and may lose focus. The other employees are distracted, and some may have to move so this person can find a seat closer to the door, so they don't have to crawl over people.

Does this sound familiar?

Obviously, there are times when we cannot avoid being late. But, when you are always late, you have a problem. And, your problem doesn't just affect you. It affects your entire family, your co-workers, your fellow church congregants, drivers around you on the road - everyone in your wake.

Do yourself a favor. Leave ten minutes earlier than you think you need to leave. You'll be glad you did. And, I will too!

Pest Control - Part Three

2010-01-07T10:01:00.002-05:00

Following is the third installment of some of the leadership lessons and excerpts from Tony Morgan's book, entitled Killing Cockroaches:

Follow the Leader
The multiplication of leadership is something that is nurtured over time. As a leader, you need to:

Communicate a big vision - remind people often, then do it again.
Point to the destination - Let others determine how to get there. Your job is vision.
Find people who are smarter than you - and give them keys to the car.
Think relationships before you think results. People need your time, and they need to know your heart, your passions, and your desires. Leadership only goes as far as the relationships you have built - and no further.

About web sites:
Ask yourself, "Does the web site for our organization engage conversation and help connect people into community, or are we just spewing information about who we are and what we do?"
If you're just giving people pretty pictures and sharing information on your web site like it's an online bulletin, they're probably not using your web site.

Implementing New Ideas
How quickly do new ideas get implemented in your organization? Does your decision-making model allow for rapid deployment and testing, or do ideas get bogged down in meeting discussions?

Gunky Build-up
For me (Tony Morgan), gunky build-up occurs when I let less important stuff squeeze out the real priorities in my life. For example,

Sometimes I believe the lie that I'll spend quality time with my wife at the end of the day after everything else is done. The reality is that the last thing on my priority list rarely gets done.
Sometimes I believe the lie that goals will be accomplished without a plan if I'm just patient and faithful. The reality is that most goals worth pursuing require counsel and strategy and hard work and commitment.

Cultural "Irrelevance"
Wouldn't it be something if Christ followers embraced these opportunities (like facebook, Twitter, going trick-or-treating at Halloween) rather than trying to create a Christian alternative to every cultural fad?

I need to end on that one. I give that last one a huge AMEN!

This, Bud, 's for You!

2010-01-06T15:40:00.001-05:00

For years – OK, actually three decades – I refused to read anything I wasn’t being graded on. And, even then, my best friend was a little yellow and black striped publication called Cliff’s Notes. But, since I turned 30, I have been a reading fool. Since January 2004, I have read at least 85 books, many twice. According to recent studies, that is about 75 books more than the average person read over that same time period. Yay me!

My goal when selecting a book to read – whether it’s the Bible, a novel, or a book on leadership, is to personally benefit from the wisdom the author shares – to apply bits and pieces to my life and influence others in a positive way. But, while this is my intent, it’s funny what happens when I begin to read. I become a Pharisee.

I don’t know about you, but many times I’ll be reading a profound truth, and instead of looking inward and prayerfully considering how I can change for the better, I’ll say something like, “That perfectly describes so-and-so. If only he/she could read this…”

But, here’s the deal. More than likely that person in my mind – or yours – who would benefit greatly or improve themselves in our eyes by reading these nuggets of wisdom, wouldn’t get anything at all out of it, because they’d be thinking of other people, too, when they read it! It’s a vicious cycle!

Some of you right now are reading this, and you’re saying to yourself, “This article is right on the money! Johnny – or Sally – needs to read this! They are ALWAYS so critical other people, and rarely heed their own advice.”

Here’s what Jesus had to say about that: “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.

“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” Matthew 7:1-5 (NLT)

Is it wrong to automatically think of others’ shortcomings when you read the Bible, or an Andy Stanley book? According to Jesus, it sounds like that’s the case. This is so tough. We all have people we love, work with, live with, spend a lot of time with. We spend enough time with these people that we actually begin to see the chinks in their armor. And, if we’re not careful, that is what we wind up focusing on – their flaws, imperfections, and inadequacies.

If you really have an issue with someone, speak with that person and do it humbly with love. But, don’t let it fester. And, if you find yourself never trying to improve in any areas in your own life (or maybe you think you’re perfect), you’re on the road to alienating everyone who knows you.

In the end, it’s the attitude of your heart that dictates the amount of joy you bring into your life, and into others’ lives. If we really want to see other people change, then we have to be willing to change. When we seek God, with the goal of becoming a better friend, better father, better co-worker, etc. and we put those thoughts into action, we’ll all be shocked to see how the pieces fall into place – far better than we could have imagined!

Oh, and don’t pass this on to anyone else. This, bud, ‘s for you.

Pest Control - Part 2

2009-12-16T08:16:00.004-05:00

More "musings" from Tony Morgan's Killing Cockroaches:

For communicators: Great speaking comes from the overflow of preparation. Before you can move others, you first must be moved. Many of us cheat on our preparation time and justify it by tending to all the small emergencies around us that make us feel significant. Talent can only take you so far. Preparation is what separates a good speaker from the truly great ones. (David Foster, pastor of The Gathering in Franklin, Tenn.)

Regarding leadership:

Leaders can't be recruited from the platform (or stage). The challenge must be one-on-one, and requires personal invitation. (p. 45)
Leaders don't want to be micromanaged
Leaders won't commit to ambiguity. You must present a clear vision. And it better be big. (p. 46)
John Maxwell said, "It's only the secure leaders who are willing to give power to others."

Other stuff:

Will the church bulletin ever go away? Do people read them anymore? (p. 47)
Vision attracts talent and financial resources. People will give their time and money to a big vision. Do you have a God-sized vision? Is it big enough that it involves lots of prayer and a move of God to see success? (p. 49)
From Don Rizzo, lead pastor at Healing Place Church in Baton Rouge, La. - "Whatever your area of responsibility, do not hold onto it so tightly that no one can help you do it, or even for you, so you can move on to something else. (p. 52)
Sir Francis Bacon: "If we are to achieve results never before accomplished, we must expect to employ methods never before attempted." (p. 57)
Who you have on your team really matters. If you don't have the right people on your team, you're not going to have success in what you do. Really. (p. 67)
(When considering someone for a position) You need to go on lots of "dates" with this person, and you need to give yourself freedom to "date" other people. Just like a marriage relationship, it's more likely to last because of the intangibles you discover over time rather than the details you might find on someone's resume on the first date. It's better to leave a position vacant than to fill it with somebody who's really not the best fit but just happens to be the best available (p. 68-70)

More to come...stay tuned!

Pest Control - Part 1

2009-12-14T14:22:00.003-05:00

I just finished reading Tony Morgan's book entitled Killing Cockroaches...and Other Scattered Musings on Leadership. I underlined and highlighted about half the things in the book. Tony is one of the most sought-after "experts" on church leadership in the country today. And, after reading this little ditty, I can see why.

Over the next couple weeks, I plan to post several insights from Morgan's book that struck a nerve with me. These are not my insights, unfortunately...but I am smart enough to read them and share them!

I hope you will get something out of them.

Success, whether in the marketplace or in ministry, breeds contempt. People say we're not "deep" enough. We don't offer this program or that program. We don't use the right music. It's amazing the grief you get when your sole purpose is simply to point people to Jesus. (p. 10-11)
We learned a long time ago that to try to make everyone happy, you have to be comfortable with mediocrity. (p. 11)
The more we become passionate about something, and move towards becoming an expert on that topic, we begin to develop our own lexicon with specialized words. And, when it's pilots talking to pilots, that's OK. When it's snowboarders talking to snowboarders, that's OK. When it's musicians talking to other musicians, that's OK. But when it's pastors or other Christ-followers talking to people who are normal folks just beginning to check out the claims of Christ, that's not OK. When we speak our foreign Christian language, normal people don't understand. (p. 20)
80 percent of first-time church visitors come because they are personally invited (this was discovered by CedarCreek Church in Ohio, and is likely reflective of most modern churches) (p. 23)
Many companies and churches suffer from a condition called "complexity creep." Complexity creep is a situation when companies keep plugging in new things but never unplug old things, resulting in confusion with customers and employees. (p. 28)
One of the best ways to combat complexity creep is to develop a not-to-do list for your ministry. (p. 28)
It's important to remember your competition. If you are a church, your competition isn't other churches. Instead, it's everything that's competing for someone's time and attention. It needs to be something "new and different. When something is the same, it doesn't make headlines. (p. 37)
A few things to consider when creating buzz: (1) Figure out who you are trying to reach, (2) If you're different, some people won't like it, and (3) Different doesn't have to be big., and (4) Being different involves risk. (p. 38-39)

More to come in the days ahead!

Mirage and Masquerade

2009-12-02T13:16:00.003-05:00

Lately, I’ve been thinking quite a bit about something John Ortberg calls “Perception Management.” In a nutshell, it’s the behavior we engage in that helps to shape the way we want to be viewed by others. It’s the little white lies, the half-truths, the pretenses under which we operate. It’s agreeing with others we don’t even like because we desperately seek affirmation and approval. It’s wearing clothes we think look silly so we can be accepted into a group with whom we likely have very little in common.

These behaviors fall into two primary categories: mirage or masquerade.

Mirages are intriguing. Essentially, a mirage is an “optical phenomenon in which light is refracted through a layer of hot air close to the ground, giving the appearance of there being refuge in the distance (wiktionary.com).” In layman’s terms, it’s an optical illusion that makes something appear that isn’t really there. Does that sound vaguely familiar?

I encounter mirages all the time. Not just ones on the road, but also ones in interpersonal relationships. Unlike the ones we can see when it’s hot outside, relational mirages can lead to very real danger. People talk about what’s important to them, what really matters, how they want to make a difference, how they will get their priorities straight. And, you could swear they mean it. But, in the end, most people are creating an illusion. They simply want to be thought more highly of, and there’s no substance there. And, just like the mirage vanishes before your very eyes as you get closer, you’ll encounter similar results with people who are all about smoke and mirrors.

If you don’t see a mirage, perhaps you are at the masquerade. A basic definition of masquerade is “the concealment of something by a false or unreal show.” The difference between a mirage and masquerade is this: with a mirage, nothing is really there. At a masquerade, something IS there, but it is hidden by a mask. It’s when I believe something in my heart, but put up a front to keep you from knowing too much about who I really am. It’s the beautiful person God created me to be who is too afraid to come to the surface. It’s the small talk I make to avoid meaningful dialogue. It’s appearing tougher than I really am, or that I have it all together. It’s that craving for acceptance that leads me to do that thing in a group setting that I would never do all alone. It’s putting a Bible on my end table, so that you’ll think I love God, even though I haven’t opened my Bible in years.

Whether it’s a mirage or a masquerade, you can be certain that one thing is missing: honesty. People aren’t honest with themselves, and they aren’t honest with others. And, if I cannot be honest with myself, how can I possible be honest with others? Exactly.

In his book, Everybody’s Normal Till You Get to Know Them, John Ortberg writes that, like an item for sale in an outlet mall, we all come with an “as-is” tag. We are all flawed. And, like that “slightly irregular” shirt you bought at the store, the flaw may not be apparent initially. But, rest assured that it will be discovered sooner or later.

So, if we are all flawed, let’s all just admit it and get over ourselves. Be brutally honest with yourself. Stop playing “make believe” and be authentic. It’s much less exhausting, and will free you up to become the “wonderfully made” being God created!

Amateur Photography

2009-11-18T15:28:00.004-05:00

I love to take pictures. Sometimes I obsess over it. I'm dangerous with a camera in my paws. I will look at every angle, look at the light source, and toil over the proper composition and balance. But, as much as I incorporate these elements into my photos, the most important part is this: making sure the focus stays on the subject.

Probably 95% of the time, I am the one pointing and shooting the camera in our family. That's because I know how to take a good picture. I know what I want in the photo. My wife, Amy, also knows how to take a good photo, but her hands shake too much (she'll tell you that). So, I'm the photographer in the family.

Obviously, there are times when we want to capture a moment on film (or on a memory card) of our entire family. That means I have to give up the camera, and pray someone else can take a decent photo.

Most of the time, here is what happens: the person taking the photo has the four of us in the middle of the frame, from our heads to the soles of our shoes. Everything around us is also in the photo - that kid with ice cream all over his face, the mom scolding the same child, the cell phone tower in the distance, and the hot dog cart on the street corner. I only wanted the four of us in the frame, but instead the photographer crammed in everything without thinking about what matters most.

Many of us do the same thing with our time. We don't think about what matters most, so we just cram in everything, and hope the "main thing" is part of the picture. As Tony Morgan would say, the "cockroaches" of our lives take precedent, and cause us to chase down things that are not worth our time, effort, or money. It's when the telephone pole is clearly in view, but I can't make out whose faces are in the photo.

In a really good photo, we have people facing the light, not away from it. When we have people in the shot, we go from shoulder to shoulder across the frame, whether there's one person or ten. You check that a tree trunk does not appear to be coming out of the top of someone's head. When you are indoors, almost always use a flash (unless you have a tripod and can set the aperture to a higher setting to allow more light to filter in). And, always make sure your subject is in focus.

It takes intentionality to take a great photo. And, it's no different when it comes to protecting our schedules, and putting the most important people in our lives at the top.

Dis-Connected

2009-11-05T08:51:00.003-05:00

Perhaps you are a Twittering Text-a-holic, or an Emailing Facebookie. You spend hours each day updating your status, twittering away for your followers, texting to your heart’s content, and addicted to your email – more than likely delivered to your mobile device. You have 1,532 facebook friends, 891 twits who follow you, and your unlimited texting plan is what you live for. You just can’t get enough. You’re more connected than ever.

Or, are you?

For those of us 30 and older, we can still remember what it’s like to have a conversation with someone. But, those days are seemingly coming to a crashing halt. Technology, along with mismanaged time and an overextended schedule, has led to this connected-disconnected dichotomy.

I heard someone say recently that people don’t read email anymore, only texts. Really? Or, have we just allowed the cell phone providers talk us into believing that?

A mother recently told me that when she calls her teenage daughter while she is out with friends, the daughter refuses to answer the phone. “It’s too embarrassing to talk to your mom in front of friends,” she said. So, her mom now texts her daughter, “that way, no one knows she’s communicating with her mom.”

I heard a dad talk about taking his teenage daughter and her friend to a baseball game recently. He looked over at her during the game, and she was texting away. He asked her who she was texting, and she said, “Her,” and motioned to her friend sitting in the seat right beside her!

It’s reported that facebook now has more than 300 million users. That number would form the fourth largest country in the world! I also read that between 5,000-10,000 new Twitter accounts are opened each day! But, what you don’t hear is that 60% of twits close their account within the first month, rarely - if ever - post, and don’t follow anyone. And, I think I know why.

With Twitter, it’s a one monologue. It’s one-sided. There’s no conversation. It doesn’t fill a void (unless it’s a need to feel needed).

Facebook, on the other hand, is a conversation…but it’s still relatively passive. I can chat, exchange comments, send notes and invitations…but it requires little effort or interpersonal skills. And, if you want to know my true opinion, it’s a way for insecure people to feel affirmed and validated. I mean, who DOESN’T love for people to comment when you post “Going to bed. Night night.” on your wall?

At the end of the day, I believe that technology has given us a false sense of connection. Yes, in sheer numbers, we are connected like never before. As last count, I had 450+ facebook friends. But, I probably would only consider 15-20 of those people REAL friends. The rest are acquaintances, co-workers, family, and friends of friends. And, I get an inflated ego by having more and more friends. It makes me feel and appear important. But, I’m really not investing relationally with anyone by sending them an invite to join the latest cause, or to join the next cool group, or to compare tastes in movies, or what Disney character is most like me.

Am I against texting, email, facebook, or Twitter? No. But, when we spend hours on end on these sites, and communicate with people 160 characters at a time through a text, and never engage with people face-to-face, we actually end up becoming withdrawn, isolated, and lonely.

We all know that we can be surrounded by hundreds of people, and still feel lonely. I urge you to continue to invest in people’s lives, build relationships, and connect – not just from your phone or your computer – but in person.

Simple Pleasures May Pass You By

2009-10-29T15:40:00.005-04:00

As time passes, I can see exactly how fleeting it truly is. It really does seem like it was just a few weeks ago that I was taking all the Christmas lights off the house, and here we are just a few weeks away from putting them back up!

But, what really gets me is seeing my two little boys grow up before my very eyes. They are now 9 1/2 and 5 1/2 years old, and the precious moments I have with them are just slipping through my fingers with each passing day.

So, I have resolved to make each moment count - well, as much as my human, depraved, impatient self will allow.

My kids are always asking me if I can come and eat lunch with them at school. In years past, I have come on their birthday to eat with them and to bring cupcakes. But, now I have both kids at the same school - one in kindergarten, and one in fourth grade. So, it is much easier to see both at once.

Earlier this week, I walked into the lunchroom, and my 5-year old's eyes lit up. He was completely surprised, and began grinning from ear to ear and skipping his way to his seat at the table. It was priceless.

About 25 minutes later, his big brother came into the lunchroom with his class, and made eye contact with me. We smiled and waved, and I could tell he was excited.

A small, but huge investment in the lives of my kids.

I have heard co-workers tell me that when their middle school kids see them at the school, they hide, or walk right by them, pretending not to see them (and hoping no one else knows who they are). It's when I hear these stories that I remember that I am running out of time with them at this fun and innocent age.

Maybe you have an elementary child. If so, take an hour one day and surprise them at lunch. Or, read to their class, or show up with cookies or cupcakes. You'll delight the class, win huge points with your child, and create a lasting memory for yourself!

Props for My Boy

2009-10-22T08:41:00.002-04:00

A couple weekends ago, I took Chaz for his skills test for his rec basketball league. After doing some dribbling and shooting, he joined several other kids on the court for a little pick-up game of 4-on-4.

Four of the kids playing were clearly All-Star caliber, launching 3's effortlessly, doing head fakes, and playing Duke Blue Devil-style defense. In the 15-20 minutes he played, Chaz was able to hang with them pretty well, but only managed one basket. And, I'll be darned if he didn't fall for the head fake every time!

But, even though Chaz wasn't the best shooter, ball handler, rebounder, or defender, he was clearly in another league in perhaps the most important statistical category: high-fives. Each time a teammate scored or made a nice pass to another teammate, Chaz immediately went over to that player and high-fived him. Chaz was the only one who encouraged and celebrated his teammates' performance during the scrimmage.

Are there things he needs to work on and improve upon? Sure. But, in the category of "best teammates," Chaz is way ahead of the curve. And, that stat is much more important to me as a parent, and will benefit Chaz in life far more than the number of times he takes crazy shots outside the paint.

Thoughts from Catalyst 2009

2009-10-09T21:05:00.004-04:00

I just returned from the Catalyst leadership conference. As always, there were some terrific speakers: Tony Dungy, Rob Bell, Charles Swindoll, Matt Chandler, Francis Chan, Dave Ramsey, Andy Stanley, Josh Hamilton, Louie Giglio, and several others.

Here are some of the more memorable quotes I took away from Catalyst.09:

God takes responsibility for the life wholly devoted to Him. - Andy Stanley, quoting his father, Charles Stanley

The medium is the message. How we communicate (the medium) is as important, perhaps moreso, than what we communicate (the message). - Shane Hipps

Nobody wants to be Moses. He had to wander in the desert for 40 years, leading a bunch of whiners and complainers. Church people were SO different then (spoken with much sarcasm). - Matt Chandler

We shouldn't be inviting God to play a role in our story. Instead, we should be available to play a part in God's story. - Andy Stanley

We need to be excited about treasure we already have. - Priscilla Shirer

Intensity causes things to move. Nothing moves unless it is shoved. - Dave Ramsey

I am sick of half-butt Christians. Stop slapping a fish on the back of it, and driving it poorly and irresponsibly. Do things with excellence. - Dave Ramsey

To the person who claims he doesn't have enough time to meet along with God: Jesus' earthly ministry was 1,059 days, and the first 40 were spent alone in the wilderness with His father. - Louie Giglio

What is that supposed to mean?

2009-09-29T15:39:00.002-04:00

We ran into some old friends earlier this week at a school thing. We caught up and exchanged pleasantries, and it was really good to see them!

As the conversation was coming to a close, my wife says, "Tell them what you're doing now at the church." Uhh....OK.

So, I explained that my new role is Married Couples Pastor, and that the former Couples Pastor is now serving as the Spiritual Growth Pastor. He'll be developing small group curriculum, devotionals for quiet time and reflection during the week, and creating some seminar series, such as Old and New Testament classes to help people develop a deeper understanding of scripture.

Our friend responds by saying, "You know what...that's why we left the church. There wasn't anything for mature Christians."

The program was beginning, and the conversation ended abruptly, and I was left stunned. My friend's comments echoed in my mind..."There wasn't anything for mature Christians."

What does that even mean? You want to know what I think it means for most people? It means they believe that spiritual maturity is sitting and listening and learning. Gaining knowledge.

But, is knowledge maturity? Hardly.

Ed Young, Jr. is Founding Pastor at Fellowship Church in the Dallas/ Fort Worth area. He made the comment one time that it's actually the self-proclaimed "mature" Christians who are the real "babies" when it comes to spiritual growth. In Young's words, they sit at the table and cry and whine and scream, "Feed me! Feed me!" He demonstrated this in a sermon by sitting in an adult-sized high-chair wearing a baby bib. Pretty good stuff.

Ed Young says that a lot of Christians mistakenly think they are ready to wade in the deep end of the pool, but really need to continue to hang out in the shallow end. Young added, "When I can master loving God with all my heart, and loving my neighbor as myself, maybe I'll go a little bit deeper."

With so many ways to serve others - both at church and in the community - how can someone ever say, "There isn't anything for mature Christians?"

You know what? You can easily identify the truly mature believers. They're the ones on the front lines, serving and loving others. They are the ones who never complain, and who understand that Jesus' message isn't just for them. They aren't consumers. They're inverstors. They're not takers, they're givers. They aren't listeners, they're doers.

How do you define spiritual maturity? By knowledge, or by showing God's love to those desperate to find the true meaning of life?

Shift Out of Neutral

2009-09-10T14:09:00.003-04:00

Have you ever accidentally knocked your transmission into neutral? The light turns green, you hit the gas, and you’re met with a roar from the engine. Then a louder roar. You realize you aren’t going anywhere, and you have 15 cars behind you honking and hands waving out windows flashing you the one-fingered peace sign.

Believe it or not, many of us live our lives in neutral – but usually it’s by design, not by accident. And, all the while, we are holding things up – not only for ourselves, but for countless others who are ready to keep on moving.

You can normally identify the “neutral” crowd pretty easily. They may be disguised, but sooner or later, some pretty telling signs make their way to the surface. See if any of these sound familiar:

• Too much sleep – People who are spinning their wheels but getting nowhere often do nothing but sleep. They sleep until late morning or early afternoon, and are lazy (I’m not talking about people who work the night shift). Further, it’s a sign of depression and low self-esteem.
• Procrastination – A clear sign of running in place is putting things off until later (with no intention of ever doing anything). When you repeatedly hear someone say, “I’ve just been too busy, I need to wait until things settle down,” or, “I’ve been meaning to do that, I just haven’t gotten around to it,” you can bet that someone’s burning fuel while idling.
• Non-Committal – People just don’t commit to things anymore. I’ll admit – I have a ton of flaws, but when I make a commitment, I am in. I am reliable and dependable, and I take great pride in that. I am the exception nowadays, not the rule. Committed, dependable people are valuable beyond measure in today’s culture. Many people give a half-hearted effort or level of commitment to many things, fooling themselves into believing that they are over-achievers. In reality, they are spread too thin and end up hurting themselves and others by not fully devoting themselves to someone or something.
• Few (if any) friends – People in neutral may have a lot of acquaintances, but few (or zero) true meaningful relationships. Because they either don’t believe they have anything to offer anyone, or because they are oblivious to the needs of others, they rob themselves of the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of other people. See numbers 1, 2, and 3 above as to why this might be the case.
• Are consumers, not investors – Let’s face it, people want what they want. They want nicer things, newer things, expensive things. Temporary things, not eternal things. You can determine the things that matter most to people by looking at their calendar (or PDA) and their bank account. The time and money we spend speaks volumes about our character and our priorities. Does any of your time and money go to serve others or to provide for others in need? Or are you only padding your wallet, or buying things that will wind up in next year’s yard sale?

If you find yourself marked by any of these characteristics, it’s time for a change. Grab the stick shift and move it into first gear (not overdrive). Get involved, get to know people, and invest in things that will last beyond yourself. Automobiles aren’t built to sit in neutral. They’re designed to get people from Point A to Point B – and to their ultimate destination. Get out of neutral, and discover the road you were meant to travel all along!

Toys

2009-09-01T15:58:00.003-04:00

I would classify the stage of life I am in as the "Toy Stage." My life is all about toys. Cleaning up toys, moving toys, putting toys together, yelling for toys to be picked up, stepping on toys and spraining an ankle, buying toys, throwing toys in the trash, hiding toys, finding toys in odd places. Toys, toys, toys.

And, up until this morning, I have had a disdain for toys. I had lamented coming home to floor-covered toys until a thought occurred to me as I was getting the kids ready for school today: one day, I will be sad because I don't have toys around the house. Because, when that day comes, my kids will be too old for toys, or they'll be out of the house. Honestly - those are the sobering thoughts that kicked me in the shins today.

So, I am embracing toys! I want my kids to be imaginative and playful. I want to be able to get on the floor and play cars with them, put puzzles together, and step on sharp Lego pieces that cause brief excruciating pain (OK, well maybe not the last one). I want to play Wii, the Memory Game, and Go Fish. I really do!

These moments are truly precious, and they are fleeting. So, I don't want to begrudge the toys in our house. Not for a while. I'm not ready to get old, and I'm certainly not ready to kiss these fun and carefree years with my kids goodbye!

Modest is Hottest

2009-08-25T13:47:00.006-04:00

I read that phrase - Modest is Hottest - on a tee shirt (similar to the one pictured here) worn by a college-aged girl in a magazine a while back.

You know, that message is one I believe is understated - and underrated. Most people today (women in particular) don't understand or care for the concept of modesty. One definition of the term modest states "unpretentious or humble." Another says, "avoiding being sexually suggestive, particularly in behavior or clothing."

I think if we combine those definitions, we have a pretty clear idea of what true modesty is. Not only does it mean to be humble; it means being responsible in making decisions about what to wear, and what NOT to show.

I've had a couple great conversations this week with some guys about this topic. Basically, we are all in agreement that females (in general) are entirely too scantily clad in public. They are wearing items that are either too revealing, or too tight - or both. And, not just at school, at the pool, or out shopping. They dress the same way at church!

Many ladies are "innocent" in the fact that they are simply wearing "the style" or what is comfortable. Others dress for attention. Either way, they are not only compromising their own reputations, but are also changing the thought patterns of men.

Believe it or not, men do not wake up and say, "Today, I am going to go to the store and see how many hot women I can find." In fact, most guys who are married would prefer to not see other women wearing inappropriate attire. Studies have confirmed this.

But, when girls or women strut their stuff, so to speak, guys cannot help but notice. It's in our nature. So, on behalf of all men, cover up! Wear kulats, a mumu, sweatshirts and sweatpants. Whatever.

I'm not saying that women should let their appearance go. Not at all. I wholeheartedly believe that women should try to look nice - just not half-naked!

And, even if you don't believe that "modest is hottest," you do have to admit that it's nice to leave some things to the imagination. And, remember, God intended for only your spouse to see all of you (both good and bad) - not the entire world.

Vittles and Vaca

2009-08-24T16:17:00.002-04:00

Well, it's finally happened. I am now the proud owner/editor of multiple blogs. I know...you're thinking, "But, you barely keep up with this one!"

I know, I know.

But, I am back in the game, and am now adding another blog to the mix. It's called Vittles and Vaca, and it'll be about nothing but food and travel - two of my favorite things!!

I invite you to check it out and share your own thoughts and experiences! We can all benefit if we share information. And, don't fret...I'll still let you know "What's Shakin'" throughout the week.

"Oh, it's the LEAST I could do!"

2009-08-17T14:44:00.002-04:00

My favorite comedian is Brian Regan (I have said that before, and nothing has changed in 15 years). He does a bit about people who have the following exchange:

"Hey, man. Thanks so much for your help!"

"No problem. It's the least I can do!"

Regan goes on to examine the response. In his normally exaggerated tone and facial expressions, he reiterates..."Seriously. It was the LEAST I could do. If I could have done less, I would have."

Pretty funny when in a comedy routine. Pretty sad in real life.

Unfortunately, this reply is the norm in our world today. People, in general, genuinely want to get away with the absolute LEAST than can do.

It's as though they ask, "How little time or money can I offer to make myself feel better for doing SOMETHING, but not really have to sacrifice any more than I need to?"

What's the LEAST I can do?

Several years ago, I asked myself that very question. I had been attending NorthStar Church for more than five years, and had done nothing to serve others. I remember the first time that I wrote down my name to volunteer for something. I was invited to come to an orientation meeting to get more information on this ministry.

The entire time, I was thinking, "What's the least amount of time I can give to this without really having to compromise or over-commit myself?" But, God changed my heart.

That very night, the guy who was leading the orientation issued a challenge. He said, "Some of you in the room are thinking of only serving once or twice per month. But, if you only want to serve part of the time, you will only receive a fraction of the blessing God wants to give you."

That night, I made a commitment to serve every single week. And, for the next three years, I believe I only missed two Sundays. I was anxious to serve every week. I loved meeting new people and forging new friendships. And, God used that time to prepare me for full-time ministry.

But, it would never have happened if I had served with "the least I could do" attitude.

Today, I get emails and phone calls from people who want to volunteer and serve at the church. Some are eager to jump in and want to help whenever they can, and will serve wherever the need is greatest.

Others, honestly, only want to serve when and where it's convenient for them. The good news is that God still changes hearts, and what began as an "obligation" can still become a passion!

I challenge you to examine your heart and motives, and see where you have "the least I can do" stamped on various parts of your life. Then, sink your teeth in and make a difference - perhaps a bigger difference - in the lives of those around you!

Caring Enough to Plan Ahead

2009-08-11T10:08:00.003-04:00

Have you ever driven along the cliffs along that breathtaking section of Pacific Coast Highway between San Francisco and Big Sur? The driver is faced with a difficult decision. He must choose between keeping both hands on the wheel and both eyes on the road, and sneaking peeks at the indescribable beauty of the scenery. And, there are sections of this amazing, yet dangerous stretch of road that don’t have guard rails. Talk about death-defying driving!

Perhaps you’ve driven in a golf cart down a steep hill, and the cart didn’t have a governor to control the speed of the cart. There was no built-in safety device to serve as a precaution against hilly terrain. Ever gone straight downhill on grass in a cart? The brakes are useless!

Or, maybe you’ve been to a circus where you witnessed a tightrope walker who chose to cross the high wire without a net. I still have the image of Tony Curtis’ character in the 1956 movie “Trapeze,” who was almost killed when he fell while trying to perform a triple flip with no safety net below. Entertaining, yes. Wise? Not so much.

We could list off many more scary scenarios in which we make a conscious decision to make things more dangerous than they really need to be. And, while the rush of the danger may be exhilarating, missteps and an absence of guardrails can be devastating.

I don’t believe anyone sets out to fail. Nobody wakes up and says, “I think I am going to make a royal mess of my life and those I love the most today.” Or, “Today is a great day for a train wreck!” It just doesn’t happen like that.

You know how it DOES happen? Lack of planning ahead. No safety net. No margin.
This sounds awfully trite, but someone once said, “Failing to plan is planning to fail.” We all set high hopes and dream big dreams. But, few people actually create and implement a plan. They don’t create the necessary margin to avoid catastrophe. Not only financially, but morally.

Instead, people say things like, “I’m going into this with an open mind.” Or, maybe you’ve heard someone say, “We’ll just see what happens.” These are famous last words for many who would desperately like to rewind the clock of their lives.

I’ve heard Mike Linch, the Senior Pastor at my church, say, “If you wait until you are alone with someone from the opposite sex to set your limitations, it’s already too late.” You’ve got to set boundaries well in advance, and you’ve got to make them even more radical than you think, in order to give yourself that extra margin.

The same goes for alcohol abuse, drug abuse, shoplifting, cutting, and a bevy of other dangerous and questionable activities that are often fueled by peer pressure or low self-esteem. If you wait until you’re with a group of people who do these things to try and make a wise decision, it’s going to be very difficult to resist.

Instead, take time to look ahead to the next 5, 10, 25 years of your life. By doing this, you will capture a vision for your life. According to Andy Stanley, a vision is “a mental picture of a preferred future.”

We all want things to end well, but it is rare that people actually choose to preserve their “preferred future” by putting the necessary safeguards in place. Yes, it takes a little time and a lot of discipline. But, no one ever regrets guard rails. You don’t hear people say, “You know, I really wish I had taken a more dangerous route to get here.”

After all, no one consciously sets out to lose it all or to make a poor choice that leads to life-altering consequences. But, many of us set out on a collision course with disaster by failing to make wise decisions on the front end.

Plan ahead. Take radical measures to preserve those things you treasure the most (your character, your integrity, your spouse, your family). And, pray for the discipline and perseverance needed to see your vision become a reality!

Buried Treasure

2009-07-21T13:39:00.003-04:00

Recently, Amy and I began redecorating our 9-year old's bedroom with an Atlanta Braves theme. We've got the bedspread, pennants, autographed photos, and various other Braves items...which reminded me yesterday that I had some old Braves stuff...somewhere. But, where?

I vaguely remembered putting some items in some boxes and large bins several years ago...maybe even before Amy and I were married. I thought perhaps they might be with my old baseball cards in the basement (or at least that was where I would begin the search).

I removed a bunch of "junk" (mostly golf stuff) in order to get to the bin. I took the lid off the first container, and found two boxes sealed shut with packing tape. In black permanent marker, I had written "sports memorabilia," and attached a note reminding myself which direction to keep the box upright.

My heart raced, and I felt like a little kid again as I opened the lid. On the bottom of the box, in one corner, I discovered an old hinged box which contained several of my most valuable baseball cards - Carlton Fisk rookie card, Ken Griffey Jr. rookies, pre-steriod rookies for Roger Clemens and an autographed Mark McGwire rookie card; Wade Boggs rookie cards, Carl Yastrzemski rookie, and a Magic Johnson 1980 card; Autographed items from Nolan Ryan, Dale Murphy, Phil Neikro, Frank Thomas, Don Mattingly, Larry Munson...and Tiger Woods!

I also found some autographed pictures of some politicians and entertainers I had gotten years ago, but had not thought about in almost a decade!

Funny thing is I just went down in the basement to find one Braves autographed baseball, and I re-discovered a treasure chest full of incredible sports memorabilia I had long forgotten! And, not only did I find that Braves baseball, I found sone authentic 1991, 1992, and 1995 Atlanta Braves World Series pennants!

I still have another box to open. If memory serves, I'll find a Pete Rose autograph, Mike Schmidt, Andre Dawson, and a host of other valuables I haven't given a thought to in a long while. I can't wait to see what I'll find (again)!

Crowd, or Committed?

2009-07-07T10:18:00.001-04:00

Jesus always drew a crowd. Throughout scripture we see example after example of people clamoring to be near him when he spoke, when he healed, and even when he was arrested and ultimately crucified. He was (and is) an attractive and compelling figure. He was (and is) also arguably the most controversial figure in history. And, without question, the most unconventional leader the world has ever known.

But, during his first stint on earth, Jesus wasn’t about a crowd. Sure, he was concerned about numbers. After all, he was concerned with reaching each and every person with love and truth. But, he never compromised his message or his actions to appease anyone. He never stopped short of delivering – with conviction – the words his Father laid on his heart to share with people.

When I read the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew, where Jesus laid out what his followers should look like, or about Jesus referring to himself as the bread of life in John 6, I am awestruck. He isn’t telling people what they want to hear. He’s telling them what they need to hear. And, each time he did that, the crowd thinned. In fact, after Jesus told the masses of people who were identified as his disciples that they should “eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood,” they freaked out – then abandoned ship.

They said, “This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?” Jesus admonished them, and reassured them that his words were “spirit and life.” But, scripture says, “From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.”

You know what it’s really saying? It’s saying they were dead weight.

Whenever the gauntlet is thrown down, few are left standing. The crowd vanishes, and the committed remain.

It’s that way in any organization, business, or church today. When the bar is raised, you find out who the players are, and who the pretenders are.

As believers in and followers of Christ, we have two challenges. First, we cannot allow the allure of popularity dilute our message and derail our convictions. We cannot compromise our integrity for the sake of being accepted. Very tough to do, I know. But, when your convictions match your words and actions, you’ll have the right people standing alongside you – albeit fewer of them.

Second, we have to make a decision. If we are not in position of leadership (if we’re an employee, volunteer, attendee, intern, etc.) there will be times when we are tempted to walk away from something because the ante has been raised. The stakes become higher, and the challenge has been issued – and our “fight or flight” response mechanism kicks in. The natural tendency is to jump ship. But, when you have conviction, you will possess the ability to stay the course, despite the steeper climb ahead of you.

None of us like to be “called out.” When we’re being lazy, we hate being challenged to work harder. When we’re not giving, the last thing we want to hear is a sermon on investing in God’s Kingdom. When we’re unfaithful to friends and family, we run from God (and church) because we don’t want to deal with the pain we’ve caused to ourselves and others. When we’re living selfishly, we don’t want to be reminded that Jesus said that the greatest commandments are to love God and love others.

Instead, we cower in fear, we gravitate towards the mainstream, and live lukewarm lives without passion and conviction.

So, my challenge to you is this: the next time you are tempted to flee, stay. Here’s my phrase of the day: “Don’t be a leaver; be a cleaver!” Cleaving simply means to cling tightly to or adhere to something or someone. Instead of abandoning ship, hold tightly to God and have confidence that He will honor your commitment to Him!

Crazy Comments

2009-06-30T14:27:00.007-04:00

In reading through Chapter 5 in Francis Chan's book, Crazy Love, I was faced with many questions. Chan does not play around in Chapter 4 (about lukewarm Christians) or Chapter 5 (about giving God our "leftovers"). I felt like I had gone 12 rounds with a prized fighter after reading these chapters!

While Chan's writing is compelling, I'd have to say it's also somewhat controversial. There's no way I can really go into all of it right here, but here is a sampling of the quotes from this chapter:

To put it plainly, churchgoers who are lukewarm are not Christians. We will not see them in heaven. (p. 84)
The thought of a person calling himself a “Christian” without being a devoted follower of Christ is absurd. (p. 85)
Some people claim that we can be Christians without necessarily being disciples. (p. 87)
To call somebody a Christian simply because he does some Christian-y things is giving false comfort to the unsaved. (p. 88)
God gets a scrap or two only because we feel guilty for giving Him nothing. (p. 91)
Many of us believe we have as much of God as we want right now, a reasonable portion of God among all the other things in our lives. (p. 96)

But, here's the question that had me reeling...and the one we discussed at length this morning in my guys' study:

“Can I go to heaven without truly and faithfully loving Jesus?” Chan says this is the unthinkable question that most of us ask ourselves.

I agree with much of what Chan writes. But, I think through it all we must remember that we have a loving, merciful Father who pours out His grace on us - and it's never because we deserve it!

I think it's dangerous to make people begin to question their salvation. None of us are worthy of God's love...but He gives it freely anyway. I agree that a Christ-follower who has a thriving relationship with God will have have evidence of fruit in his life, while those who only live for themselves have a "dead faith."

And, I do think a lot of people who profess to be Christians are not necessarily followers of the Way (his disciples).

But, I cannot say that "lukewarm Christians" will not be in heaven. Last I checked, we all fall short of the mark, and the only requirement to be included among God's children is to accept the gift of His son, and invite him to be a part of our lives.

I doesn't excuse sin by any means. But, I would much prefer to err on the side of God's grace rather than God's disappointment with His children.

Thank goodness I'm not God. I'll leave the judging to Him.

How to Be a Great Dad

2009-06-18T10:26:00.002-04:00

Don’t let the title fool you. I haven’t mastered fatherhood by any stretch. My kids will vouch for that. But, over the past decade, I have learned some things - mostly through making mistakes - that have aided in my paternal development. So, in honor of Father’s Day– here are five ways you can be a better dad to your kids.

Love their mom. When you love your wife and show your affection to her, your children are much more secure. Flowers and diamonds are nice, but that isn’t exactly what I am talking about. Flirt with her. Hug and kiss her. Go out on date nights together, so your kids can see you have a thriving relationship. Great dads love their kids’ moms.
Embrace your role as Leader. The man is appointed as the spiritual head of the household. That is not up for debate. Even if you never go to church, read your Bible, say prayers, or think of anyone but yourself, you (the dad) are the spiritual leader in your home. Just because you are the leader doesn’t mean you are an effective one, or that you are making the wise choice every time. But, you are the leader nonetheless.

True male role models are scarce these days, and many guys simply hand the reigns over to their wives to raise the kids and be the spiritual influence. Research has shown that if the father is an active believer (in Christ), his kids have a 75 percent chance to also come to know Christ. If only the mother has an active relationship with Jesus, that percentage plummets to a mere 15 percent. Big deal. A dad’s influence continues to be more powerful than we imagine.
Discipline your children. Proverbs 13:24 says, A refusal to correct is a refusal to love; love your children by disciplining them. (MSG) It’s easy to identify children who have little or no parental discipline. Now, discipline doesn’t mean “a whoopin’.” It means correction. It means privileges FOLLOW responsibility. It means making unpopular decisions that are in your kids’ best interest. And, it must start before they can talk. Almost always, a parent who attempts to begin to discipline their kids after age 5 or 6 will give up the fight because of the resistance with which they are met. Provide loving discipline at an early age, and watch your kids thrive.
Get away. Not FROM your kids; WITH your kids. There will always be enough work to keep you busy. But, precious time with your family is something you won’t get back. Dads are divided. They have an obligation to their jobs, but a yearning to spend time with their families. Sadly, most choose work first and put off family time until later, “after I complete this business deal…or merger…or earn ‘this much’ money.”

In his book, When the Game is Over, it All Goes Back in the Box, John Ortberg lists four regrets people have in their finals years on earth. Three of these regrets are profoundly affected by the amount of time one spends with family: I would have loved more deeply; I would have laughed more often; and I would have lived more boldly. It’s tough to avoid these areas of regret if your family plays second-fiddle. Work can wait. Believe me…it can.
Be kind. This is probably the toughest one for me. When I spend all day working, I can sometimes come home in a rotten mood. The truth of the matter is that the best part of our day is often spent at work. For me, my best time of day is mid-morning. I’m at work, and the kids are at school. So, I have to work extra-hard to adjust my mind and heart to be kind and affirming to my kids when I see them each evening. Kids are excited to get to spend time with dad after he’s been gone all day. Don’t thwart that enthusiasm because you “had a long day.” Your kids love you, and can help you forget the stress and distractions of work, if you’ll focus on their needs.

Second, we as dads need to be kind to others. Our kids’ character depends on it. If they witness you being kind to others, they are likely to treat people the same way. When parents have a short fuse or are overly critical, you can bet the kids will adopt a similar attitude. In the end, the apple will not fall far from the tree. Children will learn behavior from their parents – and their dads in particular. They are ALWAYS paying attention – whether you realize it or not.

This is Gonna Hurt

2009-06-15T14:41:00.003-04:00

I was preparing for my guys' small group, and just felt compelled to share the insights Francis Chan shares in his book Crazy Love. This week's discussion is entitled Profile of the Lukewarm. Chan throws down the gauntlet on believers who talk the talk, but don't walk the walk.

I gotta admit that this stuff isn't easy to read. It'll convict you and make you squirm a little. It did me. I'd like to challenge you to read through it and let it linger a little bit. Think about it, pray about it, and do something about it. That's the challenge I have as well!

In Chan's words, LUKEWARM PEOPLE...

· Attend church regularly. Is what “good Christians do,” so they go.
The Lord says: "These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Isaiah 29:13 (NIV)

· Give money and to the church…as long as it doesn’t impinge on their standard of living.
"I tell you the truth," he said, "this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on." Luke 21:3-4 (NIV)

· Choose what is popular over what is right when they are in conflict. They desire to fit in both at church and outside the church.
"I see right through your work. You have a reputation for vigor and zest, but you're dead, stone-dead. Rev. 3:1 (MSG)

· Don’t really want to be saved from their sin; they want only to be saved from the penalty of their sin.
Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? 2 Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it? Romans 6:1-2 (NLT)

· Are moved by stories about people who do radical things for Christ, yet they do not act.
But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. James 1:22 (NLT)

· Rarely share their faith with their neighbors, co-workers or friends for fear of rejection.
“Everyone who acknowledges me publicly here on earth, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. But everyone who denies me here on earth, I will also deny before my Father in heaven. Matthew 10:32-33 (NLT)

· Gauge their morality or goodness by comparing themselves to the secular world. We’re not as “hard core” as so-and-so, but nowhere near as horrible as the guy down the street.
The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer: ‘I thank you, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else. For I don’t cheat, I don’t sin, and I don’t commit adultery. I’m certainly not like that tax collector! I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of my income.’ Luke 18:11-12 (NLT)

· Say they love Jesus and He is, indeed, a part of their lives. But only a part.
Read Luke 9:57-62

· Love God, but not with all their heart, sould, and strength. They say they “try to,” but is only possible for pastors, missionaries, and other super-spiritual people.
Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. Matthew 22:37-38 (NLT)

· Love others, but do not seek to love others as much as they love themselves. Their love of others is typically focused on those who love them in return.
Read Matthew 5:43-47

· Will serve God and others, but there are limits to how far they will go, or how much time, money, and energy they are willing to give.
When Jesus heard this, he said, "There is one thing you still need to do. Go and sell everything you own! Give the money to the poor, and you will have riches in heaven. Then come and be my follower." When the man heard this, he was sad, because he was very rich. Jesus saw how sad the man was. So he said, "It's terribly hard for rich people to get into God's kingdom! In fact, it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to get into God's kingdom." Luke 18:22-25 (CEV)

· Think about life on earth much more often than eternity in heaven.

If you read history you will find that the Christians who did the most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. – C.S. Lewis

Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. Colossians 3:2 (21st Cen. KJV)

· Are thankful for their luxuries and comforts, and rarely consider giving as much as possible to the poor. Few feel “called” to minister to the poor.
“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’ Matthew 25:40 (NLT)

· Do whatever is necessary to keep themselves from feeling too guilty.
But who am I, and who are my people, that we could give anything to you? Everything we have has come from you, and we give you only what you first gave us! 1 Chronicles 29:14 (NLT)

· Are continually concerned with playing it safe; they are slaves to the god of control.
But who am I, and who are my people, that we could give anything to you? Everything we have has come from you, and we give you only what you first gave us! 1 Timothy 6:17-18 (NIV)

· Feel secure because they attend church, make a profession of faith at age 12, were baptized, vote Republican…etc…
"Knowing the correct password—saying 'Master, Master,' for instance— isn't going to get you anywhere with me. What is required is serious obedience—doing what my Father wills. Matthew 7:21 (MSG)

· Do not live by faith; their lives are structured so they never have to.
Read Luke 12:16-21

· Really aren’t very different from your typical unbeliever.
Outwardly you look like righteous people, but inwardly your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness. Matthew 23:28 (NLT)

“Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? Flavorless salt is good neither for the soil nor for the manure pile. It is thrown away.” Luke 14:34-35 (NLT)

Jesus…is saying that lukewarm, half-hearted following is useless, that it sickens our soul. How would you like the Son of God to say to you, “You would ruin manure?”

What's the Deal with Dinos?

2009-06-11T13:54:00.004-04:00

I've always had a fascination with dinosaurs. There's something very mysterious about that subject that has always been very thought-provoking.

Recently, I asked some fellow staff members about "dinosaurs and the Bible," and got some interesting responses. The bottom line is that none of us really know when (in terms of the Bible) dinosaurs roamed the earth.

Scientific evidence shows that dinosaurs existed between 65 and 150 million years ago. Evidence also points to a meteorite smashing into the earth around 65 million years ago (coincidence? hmmm) that wiped out almost the entire dinosaur population. Changes in the climate as a result of this catastrophic event likely eliminated the rest of them over time, as they were unable to adapt quickly enough to survive.

However, some staunch Bible "literalists" don't think that is true, despite virtually foolproof methods of dating fossils. This line of thinking holds that dinosaurs co-existed with man only four or five thousand years ago, before the Flood (yes - the one with Noah).

If scientific evidence shows that the earth is billions of years old, I tend to believe that. I don't think that our God - the Creator - would deceive us into believing that the earth is only a few thousand years old, when all evidence shows that adaptations, climate changes, and geologic changes in the earth have been transpiring for hundreds of millions of years.

Again, I could be wrong. It's just my opinion. But, either way, I wouldn't claim to know all the answers. God gave us minds to think, to ponder, to ask questions, and to dig deeper for answers. Some questions have been answered over time, and many others remain great mysteries. And, I have no problem with that.

My problem lies with groups on both sides of the coin who say it MUST be "this way" or "that way." It's either totally a literal interpretation of scripture, or it's 100% scientific explanation. God and science - like it or not - DO co-exist.

Could God have created everything in the bat of an eye? Yes! He could have! But, time - to God - is likely much different that what our feeble minds can fathom. The Bible says, "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth." So, who can really know what "the beginning" means? If God has always been (YHWH - "I AM") then what signifies the beginning?

OK, this could go on forever. Suffice it to say that we don't have all the answers, and we never will. God left many blanks in His creation. Why? Because, "without faith, it is impossible to please God" (Hebrews 11:6). Having it all figured out would require no faith on our part.

I believe God takes great pleasure in our discoveries of His creation. Little by little, He allows us to catch another glimpse of His awesome creativity.

But, He's not going to play His entire hand. Not just yet. That will come when He shows us once again what His creation was supposed to be like. Until then, we'll just have to wait - and debate - and trust - that God has it all under control. His control.

Is Cussing Really Cool?

2009-06-08T16:28:00.004-04:00

I've shared my thoughts about using profanity on many occasions. Bottom line is that I hate it, and it disturbs me greatly. Cussers, generally speaking, are self-absorbed and - in my opinion - ignorant people.

Many people cuss because they think it's cool. Or, they want to fit in. Unfortunately, this has spilled over into the church world in recent years, as many pastors have begun to use words like "sucks, pissed off, and crap" (among others) from the pulpit during their sermons.

Recently, Ed Young Jr., founding pastor of Fellowship Church in the Dallas, Texas area, posted a video blog about this. I thought it was worth sharing here. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this!

Fountains of Youth

2009-05-21T08:41:00.003-04:00

I'm not sure who coined the phrase "let it all hang out," but I may understand the inspiration behind it now.

My family and I were enjoying a lovely evening out at Swift-Cantrell Park yesterday with some friends. Our collective children were running amok in the playground area, and my wife and I were talking with some friends at the picnic area. Periodically (as any parent is prone to do), I would glance over to the playground to check on the kids and make sure one of them had not been impaled or dismembered.

On one such glance-over, I was met with something I could not have fathomed. When what to my wondering eyes would appear, but a 5-year old boy standing on the top level of the playground structure with his pants down to his ankles, relieving himself on the barky ground 10-feet below. He literally was letting it all hang out! And, it was quite a windy day, so this was not pleasant for anyone!

My friends and I start yelling at the little boy - who is absolutely oblivious to us, and quite content in what he is doing. Further, I don't think he understood English...but it seems to me that public playground peeing should not be acceptable in any culture.

When he was finished, he simply hiked up his drawers, slid down the slide, and went on his merry way. No big deal. Like it's an everyday occurrence.

When you gotta go, you gotta go.

The Backwards K

2009-05-07T16:46:00.008-04:00

As a former baseball player, there’s one thing I can tell you that no ball player likes to see next to his name in the official scorebook. The backwards K.

You can stomach the occasional error (errors will happen to everyone), pop-outs, being caught stealing, or grounding into double-plays. None are as irritating as the backwards K.

For those of you who are not baseball enthusiasts, let me briefly explain what a backwards K is. When a batter strikes out, the official scorekeeper will notate it with a “K.” In fact, you have likely seen fans lining up K’s along the outfield wall at Major League Baseball games. But, the backwards K just isn’t a strikeout. It’s when you strike out looking. It’s when you don’t swing the bat. You just watch the pitch cross the plate and do nothing.

I heard a funny story recently about a tee-ball player who had some issues in the batter’s box. He would get in the batter’s box, and the coach would place the ball on the tee for him to hit it. The kid would take the bat from his shoulder to about an inch from the ball several times, as if he was just getting ready to clobber it. But he would never swing! Coaches and umpires looked at each other in confusion. This went on for a couple minutes, before the umpire finally ruled that the batter had to be called out. The result was the first-recorded backwards K in tee-ball!

Unfortunately, backwards K’s are not just relegated to the baseball field. Pitches come at us every day of our lives. Sometimes we’ll whiff at the low outside breaking ball – poor choices we made but couldn’t resist. Other times, we’ll foul tip it and get another crack at it – our first effort isn’t quite our best, but we’re given additional opportunities to capitalize upon. Other times, the ball will be screaming at us, and we have to get out of the way – these are those times when we’re under attack, spiritually or emotionally, and we have to dodge the impending danger.

But, still, too often we watch perfect pitches hit the mitt without taking our cuts. And, when we are deep in the count, we’ve got to be ready to put the ball in play. That may mean swinging at a pitch you don’t really want to swing at, just so you can stay alive at the plate.

Let me leave the baseball metaphor on the shelf for a moment. Speaking plainly, we’re either too picky, too scared, or too complacent about making decisions. We think maybe another opportunity will present itself, when the pitch God is throwing you is the one he wants you to hit.

In his book Wild Goose Chase, Mark Batterson talks a lot about the cages of fear and failure we all find ourselves locked inside.

Batterson says, “We are so afraid of making the wrong decision that we make no decision. And, what we fail to realize is that indecision is a decision. We need people who are more afraid of missing opportunities than making mistakes.”

What he’s saying is that we should avoid a backwards K at all costs. All too often, God is hurling the ball in the strike zone, and we’re afraid to take a hack at it.

Swing the bat. After all, you can never score unless you get on base!

Cut Back

2009-05-01T16:45:00.004-04:00

I am finishing up a book entitled The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family by Patrick Lencioni. Simple book. Right on the money.

Essentially, the book talks about different ways families can achieve goals by planning ahead and implementing measures to get them on the right track.

The primary example outlined in the book (which is a fable) is a family who is desperate to simplify life in order to spend more time together. Like most of us, this family has sports events, school meetings, work trips, church involvement, and other extracurricular activities all vying for space on the calendar.

As a volunteer baseball coach, and as a pastor for a church actively involved in the community, I encounter families all the time who are simply tapped out. Parents who have no time to serve, no time to sleep, no time to just chill. In the short term, sometimes this cannot be avoided. But, as a lifestyle, I have found that almost all the time, parents and families make choices that pin them in overextend them.

Much of this stems from people wanting to do too many GOOD things. They want their kids to be actively involved in church, sports, music lessons, and countless school programs. And, they themselves also want to be active participants and supporters of the things their kids do. But, there are times when parents want to also cram in their own personal activities - Bible studies, tennis teams, softball leagues, concerts, etc. - and it just seems impossible.

The bottom line is that something has got to give. Kids don't need to play two sports each season, or do guitar lessons on top of a 3-month soccer commitment. They don't need to be in every play, every recital, every Scout activity. Are there benefits of their involvement? Sure. But, remember that there are opportunity costs that come along with these choices - such as more time for studies, time as a family (meals together, social time), and play time.

I never want to deprive my kids of opportunities to participate in a life-enriching activity. But, I also don't want to miss precious time I could be spending with them myself.

I encourage you to pick up Lencioni's book - and put the principles to work in your family. You might be amazed at how practical - and simple - these measures can be to achieve your family's elusive goals!

Man Alive, Chandler's Five!!

2009-04-22T10:50:00.005-04:00

Five years ago, Amy and I were celebrating the birth of our second child - a healthy baby boy whom we named Chandler Aaron.

So much has happened in five years' time. I cannot believe it has passed so quickly!

I was just speaking with a co-worker about the vast differences in our boys' personalities. It is truly a miracle to see the different character traits from both Amy and me.

Chandler is our stubborn one. He will butt heads with us and his brother over just about anything. I cannot help but laugh many times when he gets that furrowed brow and shouts, "No!" I know, that is not an admirable quality in a parent...but, it's hilarious! It's less hilarious when Chandler has a total meltdown when he refuses to take a tiny little bite of a new food.

Chandler is ALL boy - with one exception: he hates getting his hands dirty or sticky. We plays with light sabers, swords, Transformers, monster toys, and loves video games (he's all about the Wii). But, he cannot STAND it if he gets stuff on his fingers and palms. In fact, his favorite "napkin" is his shirt or his pants legs if he wipes them off!

While Chandler is stubborn and somewhat outspoken, he is as adorable and squeezable as they come. I love getting little buddy hugs and sugars, especially when he is sleepy and cannot put up much of a fight.

I love my little Chandler-buddy so much that it hurts. His cackle brightens my days, his imagination warms my heart, and his determination inspires me.

Happy 5th Birthday, Chandler!

God in Science

2009-04-21T16:24:00.002-04:00

I just finished reading Dan Brown's Angels and Demons. Incredible book. A little over the top, maybe...but vivid and compelling storytelling.

Throughout the novel, there's an overt tension between "Religion and Science." The scientific community claims it has been undermined and kept at bay for centuries by religion as a whole. The religious community, on the other hand, claims that science only aims to take God out of the equation - that man tries to explain away every miracle through scientific discovery.

One of the quotes in the book has stuck with me: "Science and religion are not at odds. Science is simply too young to understand."

I think there's a lot of truth in this statement. If we (as believers) are confident that God is the Creator, then we shouldn't have an issue with that remark.

One definition of science is as follows: systematic knowledge of the physical or material world gained through observation and experimentation.

Science is essentially gaining knowledge by studying and observing stuff.

God is in science. And, science is simply trying to understand what God has already mastered.

But, it doesn't mean we play God. And, it doesn't mean we'll understand everything, no matter how long or how relentlessly we attempt to do so.

Famed French microbiologist Louis Pasteur believed that scientific discoveries only further proved that God existed. But, he also warned that approaching God through science too often would result in being further separated from Him.

And finally, Albert Einstein added, "Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind."

So, here's the deal. Both faith and science are important. They are not mutually exclusive, as religious zealots or the most staunch atheist would have you believe.

God's in Your Gut

2009-04-02T16:41:00.001-04:00

Few people, if any, on this earth have heard the literal voice of God. Most of us would probably guess that He sounds like James Earl Jones, or one of those movie trailer voice-over guys. But, no one really knows what He sounds like.

Chances are, God doesn’t have a booming voice. I mean, He could have a booming voice. But, based on what we read in scripture, and in my personal walk with Him, His voice is often clearest in complete silence. The problem is that we rarely stop to listen. But, rest assured, He is speaking to us.

Trying to discern the will of God can be frustratingly difficult. It is for me. Especially when I am on the world’s timeline. I often convince myself that I don’t really have enough time to wait to “hear” from God because I have deadlines to meet. I rationalize that I can’t just sit around and wait for God to reveal Himself to me, you know?

But, I am learning more and more that God speaks loudly and clearly in two ways: through restlessness, and through peace. Allow me to explain.

I was recently faced with a decision that warranted a response within a 4-5 day time frame. I resolved to pray about it every day until the end of the week. I told myself, “Okay, if I have a peace about it on Thursday, I will do it.” Thursday came, and just as I was about to announce my decision, I got distracted. So, I decided I would just send an email later that evening. Funny how God works.

That evening, as I sat in front of the computer, ready to send an email, I was suddenly overcome by a heavy weight that burdened me. I had been praying all week that God would give me a peace about it if I was supposed to do it, yet I had no peace. I was conflicted. On the surface, this was a terrific opportunity. But, this was a decision that didn’t just affect me. And, immediately, things became clear. God was telling me I shouldn’t do it. This unsettling feeling was God answering my prayer. In this case, His answer was “don’t do it.”

Sometimes in our lives there are great opportunities we will have to pass up for no other reason than we don’t feel at peace about it. We have to trust our convictions, and continue to ask God for discernment in navigating our way through decisions we face in life.

And, when we make these decisions with conviction, we must refuse to second-guess ourselves. We can see opportunities that we relinquished that led to the success someone else now enjoys, and we can become jaded, bitter. Or, we can choose to see God’s hand in it. Perhaps that person or group would not have had that success if we had chosen to get involved. Or, maybe we would have caused a train wreck – in our own lives, or in the lives of others – if we had ignored God’s prompting.

The next time you are faced with making a tough decision, listen to your gut and follow your convictions. If God is in the mix, He will reveal Himself to you – often times in the most unexpected ways.

Happy Birthday, Chazman!

2009-03-17T15:37:00.002-04:00

March 17 is always one of my favorite days of the year. Not because it's St. Patrick's Day (which is always festive) - but because nine years ago today, God blessed me with my first son.

Today, my big "little buddy" is nine years old, and it's so incredible to me how fast it has flown by. I look back at all the great memories we have already shared, and all the incredible ways he has blessed my life, and I marvel at how God was able to weave together a son who brings so much joy to my life.

Chazman, I love you more than you can possibly fathom. Your cackle and grin always brighten my days - even the rough ones.

I cannot believe that half of your youth has already passed. I want to hang on tight each and every day, because it slips by so rapidly.

Three cheers for my lovable, fun-loving, Chazman!

Happy birthday, buddy! Now, please stop growing.

What's Your Story?

2009-03-12T11:33:00.001-04:00

Frank was enjoying his day. Everything had gone well that morning, and he was able to stay on task, despite the numerous distractions all around him that attempted to push him a degree off course. He sauntered down the hallway, with his favorite Red Sox mug filled to the brim with a strong cup of coffee. As he entered his office, his desk phone rang – that ring that let him know it was someone calling on his direct line. He set his mug down delicately, eased into his leather swivel rocker, and answered the phone. This was a phone call that could change the course of the rest of Frank’s life…

What happens next? Who is on the other end of the phone call? Is it good news or bad news? Is Frank faced with a grueling decision? There are probably a dozen more questions we could ask. We don’t know how this plays out. But, we know something happened that had the potential to dramatically shape Frank’s life from that moment forward.

And, here’s the lesson for you and me. We are all Frank. All of us wake up, go about our day, engage in conversations, and make choices that put us on a path.

Think of it this way: your life is a book, and each and every day is a chapter in that book. Each decision we make, each task we complete, each word we utter become sentences and paragraphs within the chapter.

Many of us have lives whose stories are page-turners. They are filled with adventure, drama, suspense, horror, tragedy and comedy. And, then there are a few of us whose stories are yawners – we let endless possibilities pass us by without taking a risk.

But, each and every sentence of your story- as you live it out - ends with “…” That’s because we never know what comes next. Will we get the girl? Will we come to someone’s rescue? Will we get that job promotion? Will we choose to speak kind words to someone desperate for hope? Will we choose our family over our career? Will we put someone else ahead of ourselves?

Or, it can go the other way. Will we walk away? Will we throw our arms up? Will we speak harshly to someone who so desperately needs hope? Will we continue to work overtime at the expense of our spouse and children? Will we continue to push our way to the front?

You are faced with countless decisions each and every day. It’s likely you aren’t aware of these “tiny” choices you make every day, but their effects can be profound.

Andy Stanley, in his book The Best Question Ever, talks about the compounding effects of our decisions. One decision, by itself, may not provide a desired – or undesired - result. But, a series of choices will compound – like interest on a credit card balance. If I eat Buffalo wings for dinner, I may have heartburn, but I won’t see a change in my waistline. But, if I do it every day for a month, I would have to loosen my belt a notch. Conversely, if I exercise for 30 minutes, and never do it again, I won’t see any improvement in my physical health. But, if I do it consistently over a longer period of time, I’ll see positive results.

So, what kind of story are you living? Better yet, how do you hope your story ends? That part has not yet been written. Every story needs a compelling opening chapter, but the greatest novels always have an even stronger ending.

Finish well, and begin today by taking a positive attitude and making wise choices to get you there.

See & Speak

2009-03-04T15:48:00.004-05:00

I just got back from a great leadership seminar. Our staff had the opportunity to go down to the Sheraton Gateway Hotel and learn from General Manager Kerry Ringham. Kerry spoke to us about several facets of building a powerful brand, as well as how to deliver on the promises our organization makes by simply living out and executing the brand.

Perhaps the greatest thing I took away was that, at NorthStar, we should always remember that each interaction is personal, and it has long-lasting effects on how we are preceived (and how Christians, God, Jesus, etc. are perceived).

There are a couple general "rules of thumb" that Kerry shared that help his associates to make sure each of their guests feel special, and also to build brand loyalty:

(1) At the check-in desk, those working need to mention the guest by name at least twice.
(2) Those same associates who are checking guests in need to look up from their computer screens periodically and make eye contact with the guest.
(3) All hotel employees (associates) have the "10 and 5" rule. If a hotel guest is within ten feet of you, make eye contact with them. If they are within five feet of them, they need to speak to them.

What is the bottom line here? Acknowledgement. People want to be noticed, and when organizations take the time to greet people warmly and genuinely, they are likely to walk away with a positive experience.

These are great lessons to implement in any business or organization, and I will be working to apply them personally in the very near future.

Twiddling Thumbs

2009-02-10T08:51:00.004-05:00

Recently, I wrote an article entitled Sore Thumbs, which talked about how we should try to stick out, and not simply blend in, with our world.

Now, I want to talk about twiddling thumbs. When are we twiddling our thumbs? When we’re bored.

Let’s start off with the quote that led to this article: Boredom is the root of all evil. – Soren Kierkegaard

You’ve probably heard the line, “Money is the root of all evil” before. That’s actually misquoted. The actual line in scripture is “for the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.”

But Kierkegaard’s quote is even more compelling than Paul’s warning in his letter to Timothy.

Let me ask you a question: What normally happens when we become bored? Think about that.

Webster’s Dictionary defines boredom as “the state of being weary and restless through lack of interest.” Scanning down the page, you’ll find these words: “A state of weariness with, and disinterest in, life.”

A further search of synonyms for bored turned up these results: fatigued, dull, spiritless, turned off.

That last one really hit me. Essentially, when we are bored, we are turned off from everything around us. And, that is where things get dangerous.

Boredom results in poor choices. When we lose interest in what is happening in our own lives, it’s only natural to begin to lose interest in the lives of others. And, that means we don’t consider how our actions affect them. We become even more selfish than normal.

When we’re bored, we try to manufacture things to add artificial meaning or excitement to our lives. We find temporary pleasure in things that, many times, rob us of joy.

Instead of investing in people’s lives, we isolate ourselves. We choose to live life alone rather than investing in the lives of those around us.

Perhaps the most subtle attack that boredom wages on us is that it causes us to “settle.” There’s a difference between contentment and complacency. The former is defined as “satisfaction, ease of mind,” and is the result of putting your trust in God. The latter, oddly enough, is defined as “a feeling of security, often while unaware of some potential danger.”

What’s the danger? A cold heart. Loneliness. Stunted spiritual growth. And, all these are roads to regret.

If you are bored – disinterested – with your life, it’s because you are choosing to allow life to happen to you, rather than getting out and taking advantage of the gifts and abilities God has given you.

If you find yourself twiddling your thumbs, wondering why in the world you are here, there is hope. There’s a God who is reaching His hand out to you this very moment, desperate to pull you out of your pit. He wants you to be alive, and He wants you to be a threat to the enemy of this world.

In his book, Wild Goose Chase, Mark Batterson writes, “You cannot simultaneously live by faith and be bored.” He goes on to say, “Too many among us end up settling for spiritual mediocrity instead of striving for spiritual maturity.”

That is the sad fact. But, that doesn’t have to be you. You are still here. So, make the most of your life. Stop twiddling your thumbs, and begin to write a new chapter in your life – one of adventure on the wings of an amazing God who wants to take you along for the ride!

Moral Compass Pointing South with Teens

2009-02-05T08:43:00.003-05:00

I gotta say I am struggling today. I am bewildered and disturbed.

I just walked down the hallway and heard one of our student staff members talking about how so many teenagers today are struggling with homosexuality, and that experimenting with the same sex is the "in thing" today in many schools.

Say what?

As I told one of my co-workers, I remember when the most controversial thing in high school was who got in trouble for chewing gum in class.

I continued down the hallway and met Dr. Diane Pearce, who has a Christian Marriage and Family Counseling practice in our office. I mentioned this to her in disbelief, and here was her response, as her eyes widened: "Oh, it's running rampant!"

Yipes.

Dr. Pearce proceeded to tell me about a couple conversations her daughter has had at her high school. She told me her daughter was walking the halls just yesterday, and she overheard a group of girls all talking about how they were "all bi" (bisexual). When she clearly communicated that she was not "bi," the girls scoffed and expressed that they could not believe that she wasn't...that everybody is bi nowadays, and everyone makes their own choices.

And, I thought the peer pressure to go TP a friend's house was pushing the limits.

On another occasion, her daughter had a conversation with another girl whose dad is a minister. The "PK" (preacher's kid) - in casual conversation with an almost complete stranger - mentioned that she was "bi" and the Bible was no longer relevant or applicable in today's society.

Dr. Pearce told me that a lot of this points back to the fact that the father's role in the home has become so weak that kids no longer see strong men and strong marriages as influences in their lives.

Further, she says many times teens today do not see any boundaries whatsoever in relationships with friends (of either gender). According to Dr. Pearce, sometimes kids do something silly and innocent, but it ends up leading to much more if one person takes the lead and begins to be more aggressive and perpetuate things.

I told Dr. Pearce I needed to schedule an appointment with her this afternoon to get my head straight after hearing all this. This is both shocking and depressing, and my stomach is in knots.

Join me in praying for today's youth. And, if you are a parent, be aware that your kids are looking to you for guidance on these types of issues. If you choose to do or say nothing, they will look for acceptance in the wrong places.

21st Century Suburbia

2009-02-02T17:01:00.004-05:00

A friend passed along a couple fascinating articles that appeared in Newsweek last week. The articles talk about what things are truly like in suburban areas in the United States these days, and also talk about how people in America today are divided - emotionally, spiritually, and professionally.

With so many things to do, places to be, and people to deal with, you can understand how our priorities can be compromised, and how our hearts can always long to be elsewhere.

I encourage you to check out the following articles, and post any thoughts you have. I'd love to hear what you think.

The Suburban Challenge

Welcome to Elsewhere

Brief Math Lesson

2009-01-27T08:37:00.003-05:00

OK. Most of us, by now, are completely numb to the whole economic stimulus banter, as well as all the figures being tossed about with respect to the bailout. I must admit it has become tiresome.

But, maybe this will awake you from your media-induced slumber.

Let's take a million seconds (as in time). How far will one million seconds take us? You have a guess?

The answer is 11.57 days - a little more than a week and a half.

In terms of minutes, one million minutes is a little more than 694 days, or not quite two years.

That's one million.

Now, let's consider a billion.

One billion seconds is more than 11,574 days. That's 31.71 years.

Sobering, isn't it?

A million bucks is a lot of money. We'd all be quite happy to have a million bucks in the old bank account.

It certainly puts our economy in a completely different light when we are tossing around figures like $85 billion like it's chump change.

Yikes!

The Rock

2009-01-21T08:15:00.002-05:00

No, I am not writing about Dwayne Johnson, or the Nicolas Cage movie about Alcatraz. I'm talking about Cephas (Aramaic for "rock) - Simon Peter - the rock upon which Jesus built his Bride - the Church.

I'm now in Acts 5, having just read through Acts 3 and 4 this morning. Powerful stuff.

Peter and John are heading into a prayer service at the Temple, when they see a lame beggar at the gate. The beggar is wanting money. His goals fall far short of what Peter and John have in mind. Peter responds to the beggar, saying, "I don't have money, but I will give you what I do have."

He tells the beggar to stand up and walk in the name of Jesus. And, that is exactly what the man does...for the first time in more than 40 years! The man is jubilant, and proceeds to walk into the Temple with Peter and John. Of course, the crowd takes notice immediately. The dude who has been lying at the foot of the gate to the temple for decades is now up on his feet. Incredible.

Here's what scripture then tells us: Peter saw his opportunity and addressed the crowd. (Acts 3:12 NLT)

Peter had not just commanded the man to get up and walk in Jesus' name for kicks. He didn't do it simply to show compassion, or because he felt bad for the guy. He used God's healing power to open a door. He preached boldly to the people there who witnessed this miracle, proclaiming God's glory, while insisting he himself had not given this lame beggar the ability to stand up.

Following his sermon, Peter and John were arrested by the temple priests and Sadducees, and imprisoned overnight. The next day, the were brought before the Jewish high council, where they were essentially asked one question: "By what power, or in whose name, have you done this?"

I guess they weren't listening closely to Peter's message (though I doubt that was the case). Perhaps they expected Peter to fess up that he was pulling a Houdini. But Peter, the most outspoken of the disciples, stated clearly who healed the man: "He was healed by the powerful name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, the man you crucified, but whom God raised from the dead."

Despite the overwhelming evidence, the religious leaders refused to believe in Christ, and did all they could to thwart the message the apostles were bringing to the people. They gave Peter and John a stern warning, commanding them to never teach in the name of Jesus again.

And, Peter replied exactly as we would have expected him to. "Do you think God wants us to obey you rather than Him?" (Acts 4:19 NLT)

And, that's the question each of us need to ask ourselves often, but are often too afraid to.

But it all goes back to Peter not only seeing an opportunity, but doing something when he had the chance. We cannot let these opportunities slip by when eternity hangs in the balance.

Show compassion and mercy. Live with integrity and character. Then, allow God to use your witness to influence others to know Him.

Come in from the Rain

2009-01-19T12:51:00.006-05:00

I woke up this morning. I am still breathing. My kids are healthy. My wife hasn't left me. I have a roof over my head, and the heat is still running in the house. I have a job. I can walk. I have friends. The list could go on and on. I have an overabundance of things for which I am thankful.

So, why is today regarded as the "most depressing day in history?"

Here's what one article said: Cold weather, fading Christmas memories and broken New Year resolutions mean this period is usually miserable, but the effects of the economic downturn makes this year worse than ever.

The article goes on to say:

Psychologist Dr Cliff Arnall has devised a mathematical formula that pinpoints today as Blue Monday.

He says there are six depressive factors which will come together including the winter weather, Christmas credit card bills and abandoned New Year's resolutions. Fears over job security, mounting debt and the house price collapse make this year the toughest yet.

Monday is regarded as the worst day of the week with many dreading the prospect of returning to work. Dr Arnall, 43, said: 'The credit crunch means today is potentially the most depressing Blue Monday we have had.'

You see that? There's a key word in that quote from Arnall: potentially. Do you know what potential means? It means it hasn't happened yet.

It'll happen IF you allow it to happen...and I don't mean your circumstances. I mean your attitude and your heart.

Don't buy in to the gloom and doom. Be positive and influence others for the good!!

Teacher Bewildered Over School Decision

2009-01-15T09:38:00.004-05:00

I was listening to Sean Hannity last night on my way home from work, and a lady called in to share some information with Hannity and listeners.

The caller is a high school teacher, and she said that next Tuesday, January 20, the entire school - 1,200 students - will all watch the Presidential Inauguration during class time.

That fact, in and of itself, is great. Students should have the opportunity to witness historical events in our great nation.

But, the teacher also explained that never before in the school's history had a decision been made that ALL students, teachers, administrators, etc. would watch a Presidential Inauguration.

Seems a little inconsistent, doesn't it? Will this school continue to show the Presidential Inauguration every four years from now on?

What are your thoughts on this?

The Gospel of John

2009-01-12T09:36:00.003-05:00

I was reading the Gospel of John this morning, and something struck me. I normally try to read a chapter each morning, but I was getting toward the end of John - Chapter 18 - and I couldn't stop reading. I read to the end of book - through Chapter 21.

I mean, I have read this many times before, but John's writing style is so different than the other writers of the Gospels, and each time I read his poetic version of Jesus' life, I am riveted.

Anyway, I find it interesting that John didn't dwell on details too much. Instead of giving complete explanations of everything that happened, John chose to focus more on Jesus - who he was, what he said, and how he related to others.

The final chapters are no exception. While Matthew and Mark spend the bulk of their final chapters thoroughly taking the reader through the grueling torture and crucifixion that Jesus endured, John talked more about the post-resurrection Jesus. In fact, two full chapters - Ch. 20-21 - talk about Jesus' three appearances to his disciples after his death and burial, as well as Jesus' critical - and incredibly tender - final conversation with Peter.

If you haven't read the Book of John recently, I encourage you to do so. And, pay really close attention to Chapters 14-17, which are some of the most beautiful words - Jesus', no less - in all of Scripture.

And, now it's on to Acts.

Turning the World Upside-Down

2009-01-08T10:08:00.005-05:00

Rick Reilly is one of the greatest writers around. For years, he was a regular columnist for Sports Illustrated, and is now a part of ESPN - both as a writer, and as an occasional on-air personality at major events covered by the network (I'd prefer he stick to the writing. He comes across as an arrogant and smug know-it-all on-air).

Reilly writes a weekly column for ESPN The Magazine entitled The Life of Reilly. Equally humorous and poignant, his stories seem to inspire and soften the hardest of hearts.

A recent story about a Texas high school football game is no exception. As much as I'd love to give away the crux of the story, I'd prefer that you read it yourself.

As you'll see, sometimes the greatest blessings come packaged in the most unexpected ways.

Click HERE for the Story

Sore Thumbs

2009-01-05T14:42:00.002-05:00

Ever gone out of town, and eaten at a popular local dive? You walk in and feel like all eyes are on you…because they are!

Or, perhaps you’ve been on vacation and have your digital camera on your person everywhere you go. There’s no hiding the fact that you are an out-of-towner. A tourist.

But, what about in your “normal” surroundings? In your hometown, your place of work, or just out in the community? Do you ever stick out? Or, do you blend in?

Maybe you’ve heard the phrase: “To be in the world, but not of the world.” While that exact phrase cannot be found in scripture, I believe they are words to live by. God put each of us here to make a difference in others’ lives and to impact His kingdom. Not to get caught up in what the “world” offers.

But, how can we avoid getting swept up in what the world offers? Certainly, it’s easier said than done. But, there are appropriate – and necessary – measures we can take to prevent it.

In his book The Best Question Ever, Andy Stanley paints a picture of blending in with the world’s value system. When we go to the beach, we’ll run out into the ocean and play in the waves. Before long, we look up and we’re 100 yards down the beach from where we first entered the water! We got swept away by the current, but it happened so subtly and gradually, we didn’t notice.

The same thing happens in our lives. We don’t set out to make poor decisions or sacrifice the best things in our lives. It happens bit by bit. And, without realizing it, the TV shows we’ve been watching, the habits we’ve picked up, and the damaging relationships we’ve gotten ourselves into have put us way off course.

According to Stanley, we’ve got to establish a point of reference. Just like being in the ocean, and drifting down the coast, we have a tendency to lose sight of where we need to be. Andy said his dad would set up a stack of rocks about 50 yards down the beach. When he got to that point of reference (the rocks), he would get out of the water and walk back. It was a visual reminder – simple, but powerful.

We need the same types of reminders for ourselves – ethically, morally, and spiritually. We need to develop guidelines and boundaries – points of reference – for our journey here on earth. Otherwise, we’ll just “go with the flow” and compromise our character – and hurt those most dear to us – along the way.

God wants people who will stick out – like sore thumbs. He’s desperate for people who will look, act, and live differently than the earthly standard. He wants people who follow him, and who love and serve others. He wants people who swim against the current, not those who drift.

I believe Jesus said it best in his Sermon on the Mount: "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.” Matthew 5:14-15

Just as a sore thumb sticks out, a bright light cannot (and should not) be hidden. In fact, the darker the night, the brighter that light shines.

Don’t drift. Put your feet down, and look to the One who continues to offer all He has just so He can walk with you!

Jack in the (Cracker) Box

2008-12-29T12:01:00.003-05:00

If you don't believe in divine intervention, you may want to consider the following story.

A lady went shopping in Tustin, California at a Whole Foods Market, where she purchased a box of Annie's Sour Cream and Onion Bunny crackers. When she got home, she found a lot more than she bargained for - an envelope stuffed with $10,000 cash!

Most people likely would have just been excited and kept the money. Not Debra Rogoff. She promptly contacted the police, who told her the money could have been part of a drug drop.

When Police contacted Whole Foods in Tustin, the store manager said that an elderly lady had come in just a few days earlier, despondent because she had accidentally returned a box of crackers that had her life savings inside!

In a "mix-up" (God can make it seem like a mix-up), the store re-stocked the box of biscuits, instead of sending it to the compost and destroying it!

I don't know about you, but there are way too many "coincidences" for this to have happened on accident. I have lost keys, semi-valuable items, and other odds and ends, and later found them miraculously. But, never $10,000 cash, and never through the odd circumstances in this story!

I guess there are a couple of things we can learn from this. The first is that there still are people in this world who are kind and caring, and put others ahead of themselves - even when it's cold hard cash!

The other is that, despite all the terrible economic news and financial mishaps in our country, we're likely better off depositing our money in a bank rather than a box of crackers!

Giving Big

2008-12-23T11:04:00.003-05:00

I am so proud of being a part of a church who loves to give and serve. For the past six weeks or so, our church has given overwhelmingly to help others.

Check out how NorthStar people have given to others:

Gave more than $3,500 to purchase 400+ turkeys for underprivileged families for Thanksgiving
Gave 800+ grocery bags filled with side items (fruits, veggies, desserts) for these families
Gave $11,000+ towards Shop with a Hero, Shop with a Warrior, Shop with a Mustang, and Shop with a Buccaneer programs to help give children Christmas gifts
Adopted 300+ children in our annual Christmas Adopt-a-Family program
Gave $17,000+ to help provide fresh, clean drinking water to people all across the world

These are just a few examples. There's no way to tally the thousands of hours people have volunteered to serve others at MUST Ministries, Cobb Christmas, and many other great ministries in our area.

Thank you, NorthStar! You are a beacon for people who need love and hope!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

My Buddy Needs Your Prayers

2008-12-22T16:27:00.004-05:00

I have a very dear friend who is hurting right now. In fact, I hurt for him as well.

He and his wife just lost a little baby boy who passed away only 18 weeks into the pregnancy. I will refrain from getting into more specific details, but suffice it to say it's a very difficult and painful time for them.

As I listened to him earlier today, my heart was breaking. But, I was encouraged that he has his eyes and heart open to God's voice while he and his wife travel down this tumultuous road.

My buddy and his wife have two beautiful little girls, and you can bet they cherish the precious moments with them more than ever before.

But, more than that, my friend said he and his wife have grown closer than ever before through this trial. He said they have both been incredibly lonely through it all on the inside, but they have been able to lean on each other as they take small steps forward.

Please pray for my friend. I love him dearly, and I know he needs your prayers - and mine - as he fights the sadness that is trying to steal away his joy.

Presentation is Critical

2008-12-20T16:52:00.003-05:00

I don't know about you, but when I see a 12-year old kid, a poorly dressed person, or fake celebrity or cartoon character costume (think Mickey Mouse, but gray fur and rat tail) holding up a poster or sign advertising a business on the side of the road, I am less likely to patronize that business than I otherwise would be.

I just passed a restaurant near my house that has opened in the past three months. There are huge handwritten posters hanging in the front window, they have small yard signs placed all around the small retail center, and now they have two 12-13 year old kids standing along Highway 41 (a very busy and dangerous highway) holding signs letting passerby know they are open.

I won't be going there. If the food was good enough, none of that would be necessary.

More or Less?

2008-12-17T16:10:00.005-05:00

One of the great joys of the Christmas season is receiving cards, letters, and photos from friends and family. On the other hand, putting them together and sending them out can be a pain...and expensive!

But, I was thinking about something the other day. Amy and I are abundantly blessed to have so many great people in our lives - amazing friends and family who have touched our lives in significant ways over the years.

At our current count, we have around 145 Christmas cards we'll be mailing out. Each year we go through all the names and addresses, and each year we add more and more to the ever-expanding list! And, here's the question I want to ask you:

Does your Christmas card list grow LONGER each year, or SHORTER?

Are you building relationships with others, and continuing to expand your sphere of influence? If so, your list likely grows each year. If not, it becomes easier and easier for you to cross names and addresses off your list. Less time, sure. Less money spent on stamps. But, almost certainly less joy than you could experience relationally by getting to know others more deeply.

And, on the flip side, if becomes much easier for others to cross YOUR name off their lists.

Maybe it's time to take a closer look at your Christmas list, and maybe take a deeper look inside your heart. There are likely countless people who would love to have you speak encouragement in their lives...and maybe it can all begin with simply sending them a card this Christmas!

Close Your Eyes...and See

2008-12-15T19:06:00.004-05:00

Today, I surprised a couple of my teammates at NorthStar by driving them down to Atlantic Station to experience Dialog in the Dark, an exhibition that brings your senses to life.

For an hour, we walked (actually stumbled) from room to room in complete darkness, with a cane to help prevent us from injuring ourselves - or others, for that matter.

I don't want to give it all away, because I hope you will take my suggestion and go check it out. Suffice it to say that, in many ways, by having our eyesight taken away, our eyes were opened to the world around us. Each room held new surprises and discoveries. We were forced to use our senses of touch, smell, and hearing to navigate our way through ordinarily common scenes from everyday life (there was a taste area as well, but none of us had cash to purchase any beverages).

But, let me assure you that there was absolutely nothing common about not having eyesight. I learned that not only do I rely too heavily on what my eyes tell me, but also that I have a tendency to not use my other four senses enough.

As incredible as the experience was, the part that will leave the greatest impression on me will be the few minutes we spent with our guide at the end of the tour. Our guide, Derek, is blind. He lost his sight two years ago when a surgery to help improve his vision actually took it away from him. He honestly explained that he was depressed and even thought about ending his life.

But, one day he "came to his senses," and God spoke to him. Derek explained that he lost several friends (a term he uses loosely to describe them in hindsight), but that he began to understand that God had still given him gifts to share with others. And, he openly claims that his personal mission is to touch as many lives in a positive way as he possibly can through his disability.

You wouldn't know it from looking at him, but Derek holds four Master's Degrees, is a CPA, and is a University professor. He uses his "gift" of blindness to fill others' lives with hope and joy, and a new-found appreciation for the things they often take for granted.

And, as far as I am concerned - mission accomplished.

How About a Little Perspective This Christmas?

2008-12-09T16:04:00.005-05:00

I absolutely love Christmas. By mid-November, I am antsy to throw on a little Harry Connick, Jr. and get into the spirit of the season. I mean, I really dig everything about Christmas – the music, the lights, the great food, the family time, the festive decorations.

I guess there’s one exception: commercialization. I recently read a sobering statistic on Christmas consumerism. Each year, people in the U.S. spend $450 billion on Christmas gifts. $450 BILLION!

I was shocked back in early September, when some stores already had boxes of artificial trees and holiday decorations they were preparing to set out for display. It made my stomach turn.

Over the years, retailers launched the Christmas buying season with “Day After Thanksgiving” sales. And, they still do use that date as a means to forecast how successful or dismal the economics of Christmas will turn out to be. But, Labor Day Christmas sales? Yikes!

But, no matter how much I dislike the bombardment of radio jingles, TV commercials, sales papers, catalogs, emails, billboards, and pop-up ads, there’s only one person responsible for how I choose to handle it and approach it: myself.

Like all parents, my wife and I have to combat the junk to which our kids are exposed – the junk that results in the “I wants.” And, this condition weighs heavy on me. Because my kids lack perspective. They have no idea what it means to do without. And, quite frankly, neither do I.

To a degree, I am thankful that my children don’t know what it means to be deprived or underprivileged. But, as a parent – and more than that, as a follower of Christ – I want them to know that our security is not centered on the creature comforts this world offers. Joy and peace – the two things Christmas promises – are not found in a stocking or under a Douglas Fir. They were deposited at the manger, and were guaranteed at the cross.

Is there anything wrong with giving or receiving gifts at Christmas? Not at all. Gifts are one way we show people how much we love and appreciate them. But, it often gets out of hand. The most stressful thing about Christmas, for me, is not the money we spend, or the chaotic schedule we have to keep in going to parties and family gatherings during the holidays. It’s somehow finding space for all the new stuff we and our kids get.

Each year, Amy and I sit down with our boys and clean out all the toy areas in the house. We remove the toys they “just had to have” (that they rarely play with) so we can replace them with the new ones “they just had to have.” We choose the best “old” toys, bag them up, and give them away to children who do not have as much as we have been blessed with. But, I have learned that isn’t enough.

A good friend of mine recently sent me some information on a great opportunity to truly make a difference in the lives of those who are in need – in countries that really need help. An organization called Advent Conspiracy is helping to unite people and churches by providing avenues to impact the world this Christmas season. I invite you to check it out, and join me and thousands of others who want to share the love of Jesus during this uniquely special time of year.

Please visit www.rethinkingchristmas.com and see how you, your family, or your church can be a part of a worldwide effort to help provide for others…and gain a new perspective of what it means to truly be in need.

Merry Christmas!

Quote of the Week

2008-12-04T19:06:00.001-05:00

Never miss a good chance to shut up. - Will Rogers

Tree of Memories

2008-12-03T16:35:00.003-05:00

About the time Amy and I got married, we decided to begin collecting Christmas ornaments. We decided that any time we went on an out of town trip together, we'd buy an ornament as a memento and reminder of that time together.

Now - 12 years later - we have quite a collection of keepsakes that is hung on the two Christmas trees in our home. Trinkets from places such as the Bahamas, Seagrove Beach, Disney World (multiple), Boston, Hilton Head Island, Jackson Hole, Niagara Falls, Toronto, Mexico, Charleston, S.C., San Francisco...and many more!

Each year we decorate our trees together, and I am reminded of all the amazing places we've been and time we've spent with one another.

And, now that we have two growing boys, we also see the ornaments they have crafted themselves, as well as the ones we have purchased on memorable vacations as a family.

I absolutely love Christmastime, and I thoroughly enjoy our staring at our Christmas trees, and revisiting the precious memories we have made over the years.

And, for those who know me best, you likely know we're getting close to needing a third Christmas tree...because the more trips we share, the more branches we need to hang these timeless souvenirs!

Mixed Reaction

2008-12-01T21:40:00.004-05:00

Amy and I made up our minds on the way home from Athens on Saturday that we were going to wear our red & black proudly to church on Sunday - despite the humiliating loss to the lowly (and very nerdy) bumblebees.

As I made my way across the cold, wet parking lot yesterday morning, I was immediately met with scorn. The first words uttered to me were from a guy who walked past me and said, "wrong shirt," referring to my bright red with black stripes button-up. "Nah," I replied. "It's still the right shirt."

Throughout the morning I received mixed reaction to my attire. Astonishingly, I got more positive comments from folks than heckles. When one guy saw my shirt, his eyes got as big as saucers and he said, "Wow! I have a whole new respect for you for wearing that shirt today."

Even the pastor's wife, who loathes UGA, told me I was bold for wearing the shirt, but that she was proud of me for sticking by my school and my team.

I have to say - straight up - that I despise Georgia Tech. I'd almost prefer to go 1-11, with the one "W" being against Tech, than to go 11-1 and lose to them. But, as low as I felt after getting our tails beat by them, I couldn't let them take away my Dawg pride.

Sometimes you gotta be bold and stand for what you believe in - especially when it's unpopular. Many times, the results (just like Sunday for me) will surprise you!

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It's Off to Disney I Go

2008-11-18T16:26:00.003-05:00

I know you will be disappointed, but I am taking a holiday from blogging, and will not be able to share more of my vast wisdom with you until after Thanksgiving.

We're kicking it down to Orlando for some Disney World action, then hopping on a Disney Cruise early next week!

Everybody have an awesome Thanksgiving, and be sure to thank God for all the incredible blessings He's provided.

I'll be chatting with you soon.

Love My Boys!

2008-11-13T16:33:00.005-05:00

I hope I never take my sons for granted. They are a special dynamic duo, and breathe life into me each day.

Over the past couple weeks, I have had the privilege to serve as "Mystery Reader" for each of their classes on Friday. Two weeks ago, I remember standing in the hallway at Lewis Elementary, when Chaz (my 8-year old) spotted me as he was headed to his classroom after lunch.

"Daddy!!!" he exclaimed, and came running towards me, with arms outstretched to give me a bear hug. What a greeting! My heart melted, as I was equally excited to see him.

The following Friday, I was in Chandler's class. I can remember rounding the corner into the doorway of his classroom, and I made eye contact with the little guy. Chandler is much different than Chaz. Instead of bounding toward me, Chandler had a rather perplexed look, as he was trying to figure out exactly what I was doing there. After about 30 seconds of me making goofy faces and gestures at him, he finally cracked a smile.

I know some parents say that their kids are "their life." I wouldn't go quite that far. But, they certainly add joy, laughter, and fun to it (as well as frustration), and I honestly couldn't imagine what it'd be like if they weren't in the picture.

I cherish the moments I spend with them, and pray that they will always be as excited to see me, and spend time with me, as I am to see and hang out with them.

Love you buddies!!

When Your "We" Becomes "They"

2008-11-11T10:33:00.003-05:00

Have you ever been around a sports fanatic who boasts about his favorite team’s accomplishments? By their mannerisms, their words, and their enthusiasm you’d think they were actually on the team!

I’ve been there. Or, maybe I should say I am there. You see, I am a die-hard Georgia Bulldogs fan. But, not just an ordinary fan. I am pretty vested. I went to school at the University of Georgia, worked in the Athletic Department for three years, and have been a season ticket holder for 13 seasons running.

I am more than a fan. I am…as they say at the poker table – all in.

But, what about when things aren’t going well? What about getting whipped 31-0 in the first half against Alabama earlier this year? You see, I was at that game. It was brutal. ESPN’s College GameDay was there for the big matchup, and before the game, all the Georgia “faithful” were saying things like “We’re gonna roll the Tide.” Or, they’d say, “We’ll definitely be Number 1 in the nation when we win this game.”

But, we didn’t win, and we were the ones who got rolled. And, you know what happened in the stands and on the radio after the game?

Our “we” became a “they.”

We no longer spoke in the first person. Instead, we said things like, “They got their tails handed to them.” Or, “I don’t know what they are going to do in the second half, but they better get their act together.”

I recently had the opportunity to hear marketing guru Seth Godin speak at a leadership conference. He has a new book out entitled Tribes which talks about this phenomenon.

Here’s what Godin had to say (paraphrase): “When people go to a sporting event and get all fired up and cheer, they aren’t really cheering for that team. They’re not even cheering for the players in the uniforms. They’re actually cheering for themselves. All these people in the stands are connected by their affinity for this team – they are a tribe – and they are all cheering because it makes them feel better about themselves.”

I had never thought about this before. Let that sink in for a minute.

But, this makes perfect sense. When our team scores a touchdown, or wins an election, or accomplishes a monumental task of any kind, we celebrate with them – because we are part of that tribe, and we want to be identified with that success. It makes us feel good.

So, it should be no surprise that when our team (or tribe) fares poorly that we want to distance ourselves from them. We wave our arms in disgust, become critical of what they are doing, and bring out the boo-birds. We don’t want to be identified with failure. Their failure. Not ours.

Sports analogies seem to make the most sense, but the very same thing can happen in any group. Your company. Your church. Your family.

And, in a culture with so many choices, people can easily jump from one ship to another to try to avoid sinking. Instead of being a part of the solution, they prefer to point a finger and latch on to the flavor of the week.

The fickle world of college football is one thing, but when a spouse withdraws from the partnership of marriage, or a volunteer starts to gossip about a leader in your organization, or when fingers are pointed at others across the conference room table, you’ve got real problems on your hands. It’s called disunity. There’s not a universal “we” anymore. And, that spells trouble.

So, what does that mean for you and me? It means we have to be honest with ourselves and closely examine the level of commitment we offer – to our spouse, our families, our companies, our places of worship, and any other group with whom we identify.

Loyalty isn’t a word we hear much about these days. But, there are few things I value more than someone who is dependable and will stick by my side – not just when we’re winning, but in whatever circumstances we find ourselves.

Is your “we” starting to fade? If so, you’ve got some tough decisions to make, and some difficult conversations to initiate. But, whatever you do, please remove the word “they” from your vocabulary. Speak the truth – in love – and help provide solutions, not create dissension.

Bury the Hatchet

2008-11-05T14:49:00.004-05:00

I had the opportunity to meet and listen to Allen Hunt this morning. Allen is the host of the Allen Hunt Show on WSB Radio in Atlanta, and is in syndication on 55 radio stations across the country.

He shared a story this morning that really spoke to me.

In Sussex County, Delaware, they will celebrate "Return Day" on Thursday, November 6. This is a 200-year tradition in which the winning and losing candidates from the election parade through the city streets, riding together in horse-drawn carriages and antique automobiles. The entire county is pretty much shut down!

After the parade, the citizens gather around the historic Sussex County Courthouse, and the Town Crier (how would you like that title?) reads the official returns from the courthouse balcony. After the returns have been read, Sussex County's party chairmen engage in a dramatic burial of the hatchet - quite literally - which ends the political season in Delaware.

If you don't believe me, read it here: http://www.returnday.org

We can all learn a valuable lesson from the humble folks of Sussex County, Delaware. What a great picture of what we all need to do - not only with the election, but with one another when we have differences. Bury the hatchet, and "ride together" and help create an air of unity rather than dissension.

Because even if you are certain you are "right," and things didn't go your way, you have a choice to make. You can be a sore loser and continue to alienate people, or you can get on board - even if it's someone else's carriage - and work together to create solutions.

Pray - and Vote - Then Pray Some More

2008-11-03T15:38:00.003-05:00

Never before has so much been on the line in a Presidential election. It's been an all-out war. A war in which the media has played a larger role than ever before. And, one that - despite all pre-election poll results - McCain has yet to concede.

I have prayed more about this election than in other elections in years past. I think God's sovereign hand was on the last two elections - no doubt - and I am confident His hand is on this one. I just don't know exactly what the American people have to say about it.

I will tell you - straight up - that I am voting for John McCain. Is he the best the Republican party had to offer for this election? Personally, I don't think so, but I support him nonetheless. There are hundreds of reasons I choose to support him over Obama - and I am not going to list them here. But, I honestly feel that our country will suffer in innumerable ways if Obama is elected.

So, I am praying. I am voting in the morning. And, I will pray some more.

Either way, I believe America will continue to be the best place to live in the world. But, I think patriotism will take a hit, and family values and the moral climate of our nation will be further compromised if Obama is elected.

Foul Tips

2008-10-29T15:51:00.004-04:00

I don't profess to be some marketing guru, but a thought occurred to me today. Many of us spend hours brainstorming ways to communicate our business or organization's wares, only to see that a particular "stunt" or campaign his virtually no effect.

In baseball terms, sometimes when we are at the plate trying to hit 'em out of the park, we just swing and get a foul tip. We don't get a base hit, and we don't strike out. We just manage to make contact, which has little or no effect on the outcome...except that we earn the opportunity to take another hack in the batter's box.

It can be frustrating to implement new ideas, and share your vision with your audience, only to revisit the drawing board because nothing sticks.

As it pertains to ministry, we can generate some pretty amazing graphics, sing amazing worship songs, deliver sermons with passion and fervor, and give people the warm fuzzies. But, unless we have given people ways to apply what they see, hear, and learn it's pointless. It's a foul tip.

At NorthStar, we have more meetings than you probably care to know - specifically designed to help equip people and provide relevant ways for them to apply their faith to real life. Sometimes, we flop. Our hours of creative brainstorming, mind wrestling, and debating don't always translate into practical and easy paths to the life change we so desperately desire to see in the hearts of God's people.

But, when we go through each sermon series and tie in ministry opportunities, ways to connect with God, ways to serve others, actions to display God's love - then we all win! That's when the foul tips become seeing eye singles, ground-rule doubles, and the occasional stand-up triple. It's about getting runners on base, then letting God "knock 'em in."

And, when we get a Home Run, we know it was God - not us - who was in the batter's box. Because no one wants to see positive life change, and His word applied in peoples' lives more than He!