Let's Make a Deal

If someone offered you the opportunity to stay the same age, and never grow older, you’d take it, right? No strings attached, no selling your soul to the devil, no caveat. Just accept this offer, and no more. I would!

But, for some reason, my kids won’t accept this deal. Every so often, Amy and I will say the following to our now 10 and 6-year old sons: “No getting bigger or older, OK? Just stay this size and age forever. Is that a deal?”

They don’t even consider it. They immediately shoot this idea down! They’re in a hurry to grow up, while we (adults) are desperately swimming upstream against the painfully swift current of time.

Father’s Day has just passed, and as I think about being a dad, I am overjoyed. I never knew exactly how fulfilling a role that Fatherhood would play in my life. And, I never knew how quickly the days, weeks, and years would fly by. It’s moments like these when I have to take a big breath and try not to think about what life will be like without my boys in the house every day. Deep breath.

I understand that my kids are “only” 10 and 6, and that I have several years to go before they are out of the house. But, that is little consolation when I can already see so much in the rearview mirror. After next year, one of them will be in middle school. Yikes!

There’s a laundry list of things I get to do with my kids that will vanish in the years to come: reading bedtime stories, kneeling and saying prayers together before turning out the light, practices and games at the ballpark, homework and school projects, shooting hoops in the driveway, playing on the playground, hearing that lovable “kid laughter” throughout the house when they are playing nice together, Disney World vacations (OK, maybe not Disney – we’ll never outgrow that!).

And, with each day that passes that list grows longer, and my time with them becomes even briefer. So, what can I do about it? How can I preserve this time and squeeze out every last drop? Simple: I continue being their dad.

What I mean is this: instead of lamenting the fact that they are growing up too fast, I continue to do what I have been doing. Some parents get to a point where they cease being their kids’ parents and try too hard to become their “friends.” They ease off the brakes and allow their kids to hit the accelerator. “I don’t want my kids to grow up hating me,” some parents say to themselves. So, they do the very thing that will result in their kids losing respect for them – they stop parenting.

I remember hearing some sage advice several years ago from a guy at our church. His sons and daughter are now in their late 20’s and early 30’s, but as he reflected back on his life, he made this comment: “I made the decision to be their parent and to make tough choices and to discipline them when they were young, so I could be their friend when they got older.”

So, that is what I will do. I will cherish these precious moments, but I will be relentless in my role as “Dad” to disciple them, lead them, encourage them, correct them, and love them.

And, in the end, I believe God will honor this, and will bless my boys and me with an incredible friendship for decades to come.

Now, THAT is a deal I can’t pass up!

By Default, or By Design?

I wouldn’t classify myself as “control freak,” but in many ways I do want to have a say-so in what I am going to do, and how I am going to do it. I guess the fact of the matter is that I ultimately trust myself more than I trust someone else to determine my path. But, not only my path – my kids’ paths as well.

I’m going to get straight to the point. I believe one of the major problems with the world is that we have a bunch of scaredy cats running around with no idea where they are going. There’s no target they are aiming for. No goals to be accomplished. No process in place to get them or their families where they need to be – financially, emotionally, spiritually, or physically. These are the people that just let life “happen.”

Priorities are out of whack all around us. It can be sickening. We can make just about any decision seem like the right one, can’t we? We rationalize. But, as Rick Warren once said, when we rationalize, we are feeding ourselves a “ration of lies.” Parents choosing their jobs and financial “security” over their kids or spouse. Kids choosing a false sense of acceptance over doing what is right, what is best. Business owners choosing the almighty dollar over consumer and employee loyalty.

Several weeks ago, a friend of mine was speaking at church. He made the following comment: “It takes no effort to drift.” When you jump into the ocean, splash in the waves, and hop on the boogie board, where do you end up? Usually, you wind up 40 or 50 yards down the beach from where you entered the water. And it takes a ton of effort on our part to fight the current that pulls us away.

It’s no different on land in the “real world.” We have to plant our feet firmly into the ground and take a stand. We have to be intentional with every move, every step. If not, we drift. And, the further we drift, the less likely we are to fight our way back.

Many have no sense of purpose or mission, and lack any direction at all in their lives. Generally, these people “want” certain things – to become wealthy, to be a good mom, or to work in a certain profession. They stand at Point A, occasionally dreaming about Point B, but lacking the discipline and initiative to ever make the necessary changes to get to their preferred destination.

It’s why people don’t put away money for retirement. They choose to spend what they earn here and now, sacrificing their futures all the while. They have this idea that one day they will take it easy, travel, buy a vacation home. But how? It’s no wonder that nearly 1/3 of Americans’ current retirement plan is to “win the lottery.”

Perhaps you have a vision for your kids to really become something special one day. You want them to be well-educated, have impeccable manners, be physically fit, have a profound impact on others. In order for you to help pave the way for 20 years into the future, you’ll need to make some changes now. You’ll have to scrutinize and alter the TV shows they watch, who they hang out with, the types of music they listen to, the way they talk to others, the way you talk to them, what they wear, what they eat, how much effort they put into their studies. If your son listens to heavy metal, stays up until 1 a.m. watching WWE wrestling, talks back and shows disrespect, looks like a slob, eats and drinks whatever he wants, and rarely studies, you can probably guess where he’ll end up in 10-20 years. And, in order to prevent that, you’ll have to do the tough things now.

Otherwise, you’ll continue to drift – and so will he. So, choose to live your life by design, not by default. Your future – any probably others’ – hangs in the balance.

More Than a Feeling

My alarm buzzes at 6:35 a.m. I’m tired. I hit the snooze. My alarm buzzes again. I have to get out of bed. But, I don’t feel like it. I do it anyway. My kids need to be at school on time, and I have a responsibility as an employee to be at my place of work at 8 a.m.

I’ve been at the ballpark every night this week, and have logged more than 12 hours coaching and attending games for my kids. We have practice scheduled for tonight. I am beat, and I have so many things I need to do around the house. I don’t feel like going to the field again. But, I go anyway. I made a commitment to my son and to ten other kids and their parents to volunteer my time to help them improve and have fun on the baseball diamond.

It’s been a long day. An eight-hour work day, baseball and homework with the kids. I am reminded at 9:30 p.m. that it’s trash night. Oof. I am exhausted, and I don’t feel like getting the trash together and making the 250-foot uphill trek to my curb with a 95-gallon wheeled container. But, I do it anyway. I pay a fee for waste disposal, and I don’t want it to pile up for another week.

These are just three out of probably a dozen or more “I don’t feel like it” episodes in a day in my life. These are relatively mild examples, but what about when more is on the line?

I pick up my kids after work. I want peace and quiet. They want to play and carry on. I want to lie down and prop up my feet. They want to play football or baseball (or both) in the front yard. But, I don’t feel like it. I could go for some R & R. But, I go outside anyway. I only get one shot at being my kids’ dad, and these moments are priceless and fleeting. I revel in their energy and joyous spirit, and know it was the right decision.

I have been married to my wife for 13 years. I know she loves me, and she knows I love her. I don’t always “feel” loved, and I don’t often feel that same “in love” feeling we had very early in our relationship. I could easily use this as an excuse to go out and try to fabricate these feelings in the wrong places, doing things I shouldn’t be doing with people I have no business being around. But, I don’t. I made a vow to Amy that I would be with her always. Each day I make the choice to love her – not because it FEELS right, but because it IS right.

Believe it or not, I don’t always feel like opening my Bible or preparing for my small group study or going to God in prayer. I am not riding an emotional high that has swept me up off my feet. No, I’d prefer sometimes to do something else. And, when I’m not overcome with the Holy Spirit and get the warm fuzzies, I don’t get discouraged and go looking for God in other places. God – through Jesus’ death and resurrection – now dwells within me ALL the time. He is a part of me. So, I don’t have to go looking for Him someplace else.

In the end, wise decisions are not based on feelings. Perhaps they can be influenced by them, but by and large we should honor commitments and do the things that really matter because they ARE right, not just because they FEEL right. Love, selflessness, sacrifice, gratitude, generosity, humility, and honor do not come easy. Each requires an intentional choice on our part. Don’t wait until you FEEL like being noble to be noble. Do it despite feeling self-centered and hard-hearted. If you do it enough, you’ll be surprised at how your wise choices will help shape you into the person you’ve wanted to become all along.

Man on a Mission

I had the privilege this morning to see and hear a man I truly admire: UGA Head Football Coach Mark Richt.

Coach took the stage and almost immediately, he dove into what he wanted to share. Coach Richt said, "I am 50 years old now. And, one of the things I have learned to do as I have gotten older is to get right to the point."

From there, Coach Richt shared the passage out of Luke, where the resurrected Jesus is walking along the road to Emmaus with two of his disciples. Coach shared how these two men were dejected because their savior was "dead," and there were not sure what to do. But, Jesus walks a little longer with them, and ultimately reveals himself to the disciples, once again filling them with hope, and proving that he is who he said he was. Coach shared why he has chosen to put his faith in Jesus Christ.

The first reason is because of the hundreds of prophesies we read about in the Old Testament that were all fulfilled when Jesus came into the world, and ultimately paid the price for our sin.

The second reason, Coach Richt shared, was because of the passion and conviction with which Jesus' disciples lived their lives after he ascended into heaven. Because they trusted God more than the religious authorities of the day, all but one of Jesus' disciples died horrific deaths - stoned, crucified, imprisoned, beaten. Coach said there's no way someone would choose the harsh life or death that these disciples endured unless he or she was absolutely certain that what they were saying was the truth.

Finally, Coach Richt said the primary reason that he put his faith in Christ is because he came the realization that he was (is) a sinner. He was confronted with the fact that without God in his life, there is no true peace. And, the only way to have that peace is to invite Jesus - God's one and only son - into his life to cover his sin, and allow him to have a relationship with his Heavenly Father.

It was a simple message, but was right on the money. And, with it being Passion Week, it came at the perfect time. On this same Tuesday nearly 2000 years ago, Jesus was only three days away from being humiliated, tortured, and crucified. All so you and I could be reunited with God in heaven when we die.

This gift, too, can be yours when you choose to invite Christ into your heart. If you've never done it before, just lift up this simple prayer to God right now:

God, I know that I am a sinner, and I have fallen short of your best for my life. But, today, I want to change that. I acknowledge that your son - Jesus - was brought to this earth so that he could die for my sins. I thank you so much for his sacrifice, and I invite him into my life today to be my Lord and Savior. I don't want to live for myself any longer. I want to live for you. Thank you for saving me.

May this Easter be the most meaningful and joy-filled Easter you have ever experienced!

The "S" Word

No, not that "S" word. Or, THAT "S" word. Not Spurrier either. I'm talking about an "S" word that I fear people do not truly comprehend: Sacrifice.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines the word sacrifice as follows: To forfeit (one thing) for another thing considered to be of greater value. And, as much as we like to toss around this word, the painful truth is this: we consider ourselves to be of greater value than others.

If we didn't, we would embrace sacrifice. We would look for opportunities to give up more for the benefit of others. We'd spend less, we'd serve more, we'd give more, we'd love more. We'd let Johnnie over in front of us in bumper to pumper traffic.

Some equate the word sacrifice with inconvenience. According to Dictionary.com, inconvenience is "something that causes discomfort, trouble, etc." And, while a sacrifice may result in our discomfort at times, it shouldn't be regarded as a negative term.

But, we make it seem negative, don't we? When we are faced with actually having to make sacrifices, we lament. We gripe. We mope. And, after lamenting, griping, and moping, we convince ourselves that sacrificing isn't worth all the self-imposed grief. So we take a step back up the ladder, often times stepping on others' fingers.

The adversary to sacrifice is entitlement. It’s on the other end of the spectrum. It’s when we believe we deserve the best, almost always at the expense of others. The Apostle Paul had something else – something far better - in mind. Check this out:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. Philippians 2:3-5 (NIV)

I bolded two things there: (1) We are told to think of others as better than us. Say what? Somebody’s better than me? More important than me? You’re asking the wrong questions. Paul says to “consider.” So, instead of asking ourselves if we’re being overlooked, we should ask ourselves if we’re considering others.
(2) Consideration is an action that is dictated by our attitude. Jesus only considered one thing when He was on earth: his Father’s will, which meant loving and serving others to the extreme.

Jesus had something much better in mind when he came to earth. He viewed sacrifice as an opportunity to glorify His Father. He knew that by decreasing himself, others would increase - and ultimately God Himself would be reflected in his actions.

But, by sending His son to earth, God also knew there was a cost. He was giving up (forfeiting) His only son temporarily for "another thing considered to be of greater value" - you and me.

We don't have to die a physical, tormented death in order to sacrifice for others, but we do have "die to self" in many respects. You and I have opportunities each and every day to make choices that affect the lives of countless others - whether we realize it or not.

It's not easy, but it's rewarding. And sacrificing is a great way to remind ourselves that it's not about us. It's about God, and it's about others. Others who don't know Him, or may have walked away from Him. And, we have the ability to bridge that gap by putting ourselves aside and giving people a better view of the One who loves them most.