You, Too!!

Have you ever responded to someone's question or comment with an response so asinine that you looked and felt like a complete dork? Of course you have (I feel better already)!

Before I defame myself yet again, I gotta tell you about my favorite comedian. His name is Brian Regan, and he is absolutely the funniest dude I have ever seen perform live. Tim Hawkins is a close second, but Brian Regan takes the cake with his facial contortions and over the top goofy mannerisms.

Anyway, Regan does this entire bit on making completely idiotic responses when engaged in everyday conversations.

For example, when people say, "You, too!" at the wrong time. Regan tells of a time when he took a cab ride to the airport. As he was exiting the taxi, the driver said, "Have a nice flight."

Regan's response: "You, too!" He goes on to say how foolish he felt as he stood at the curb with his hand waving back at the cabbie. "You, too! You have a nice flight too! If you ever fly someday!"

He also talks about standing in the line for popcorn at the movie theater. The person behind the counter hands him his bucket of popcorn and exclaims, "Enjoy the movie!"

Regan's reply: "You, too!"

Well, you get the point.

There are many times when we just say ridiculous things to people - usually thoughtlessly and unintentionally.

So, back to my moment of sheer genius. It was after church a couple weeks ago. I was heading into our office building to put away a couple of items, and someone approached me with a question.

"Excuse me, C.A.? I was wondering...do you know if our church (NorthStar) offers any type of ministry for deaf people?"

My complete bone-head response: "Not that I have heard."

OK, it is pretty funny, I have to admit. But, as soon as I uttered those words, I realized how terrible of a response that really was. I uttered an awkward little chuckle, and apologized for my insensitive response. But, it was too late. The damage was done - mostly to myself.

There are countless other times when I have tripped over my own tongue. Things I have said, words I have typed that marred my reputation for a lifetime. Things that are hilarious to look back on, but things I would change if I could do them over again.

I'd love to hear from you!

What's YOUR best, "You, too!" moment?

P.S. - You can catch a clip of Brian Regan's comedy bit HERE. This particular clip is about 15 years old (you can tell by the mullet). And, he has a couple hilarious DVD specials you should check out! (he's a clean comic, FYI. No foul language)

Sneezes of the Heart

I was at a wedding rehearsal dinner recently, when I heard someone in the room sneeze. Besides wondering if she covered her mouth in time, I had another thought in the wake of her air expulsion. It hit me that it could really benefit us if our hearts had a sneezing mechanism or reflex. Let me explain (you’ve already read this far, so why not)?

There are a couple different reasons that we sneeze. The first – and most obvious – is that our bodies need to eliminate undesired pollutants from our lungs or airway. When our nasal cavity (or, if you want to be technical – the mucous membranes in our nose) becomes irritated, our body reacts by sending a message to our brain telling it that we need to sneeze in order to release air and bioparticles that contain the cause of the irritation.

Essentially, our bodies know when foreign substances have invaded, and it protects itself by eliminating these unwanted particles. In short, the body knows when something doesn’t belong or isn’t good for us, and it does it’s very best to get rid of it.

That’s why it would benefit us to have a similar defense mechanism for our hearts. No, not the aorta, the ventricles, or the septum (no, I am not a doctor, but I did sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night). Instead, when unnecessary pollutants enter our hearts, we’d be well-served to kick those suckers out. Things like envy, pride, lust, insensitivity, depression, low self esteem, duplicity, and selfishness can lead to heart failure much more quickly than smoking, lack of exercise, and poor eating habits could ever hope to.

The second kind of sneeze is called a photic sneeze reflex. The primary cause of these sneezes is sensitivity to light. And, more often, it is what results from exposure to direct sunlight. Basically, many of us automatically sneeze when we look directly into the sun.

With respect to our hearts, this is also a common response when we come into direct contact with the powerful light of the Son. Whether we are seeking Jesus Christ, or whether he confronts us, there are times when our hearts are so touched by his love and mercy that we immediately humble ourselves, and our weaknesses are immediately overpowered by his strength.

In the end, there’s another word for a “heart sneeze.” It’s called repentance. Repentance (the word) has gotten a bad rap over the decades. It’s almost always associated with bullhorn guys and street preachers who utter the “R” word as they condemn passersby with messages of hellfire and brimstone.

But repentance is actually a beautiful thing. Repentance is defined by dictionary.com as “deep sorrow, compunction, or contrition for a past sin, wrongdoing, or the like.” When we repent, we are turning away from those things that separate us from God – and His best for our lives.

All too often, we are aware of the pollutants, the irritants – the JUNK – that weighs our hearts down and holds us hostage, but we refuse to admit our weaknesses to ourselves, to others, and even to God. But, we have a choice. We can repent – offer up a hefty heart sneeze – and turn away from the past, and instead begin to look to God to guide us.

Maybe it’s been a while since you sat and had a heart-to-heart with the One who eagerly awaits the opportunity to speak with you again. All it takes is humility and honesty – with God, and with yourself – to become reacquainted with His undying love for you.

And, this time, when your heart sneezes, God will Bless You! You can count on it!

Don't Be a Hater

We were walking down Sanford Drive. The sweet aroma of Georgia football was thick. We could hear the Redcoat Marching Band. We were surrounded in a sea of red and black. A hint of nostalgia warmed my heart as I caught a glimpse of Memorial Hall, the Tate Student Center, the University Bookstore, and the unsurpassed majesty of Sanford Stadium. For a brief moment, it was heaven on earth.

That's because, well, it became hell on earth, somewhat literally. A beautiful day in Athens and the excitement of opening day between the hedges turned sour as we encountered a group of men holding signs with condemning messages of the "lake of fire" that awaits sinners.

One group was making its way up to the corner of Baldwin and Sanford. Another trio stood firm with hands held high in hatred along Hooper Street, in front of Memorial Hall, as a band belted out contrived "Christian" lyrics to hard alt-rock guitar riffs (think Alice in Chains with the Jesus edge - "Jesus Chri-yi-yi-yi-yist!").

Anyway, I'm not trying to be critical of their musical talent. I'm simply saying that these folks have an opportunity to show God's love to 90,000+ people, but instead choose to be judgmental and send a message to others that isn't consistent with their supposed beliefs.

It upsets me (and embarasses me to some extent, I must admit) to be viewed as "the same" as those bullhorn-types when it comes to my faith in Christ. I know God is big enough to take care of himself, but I get awfully defensive. It really takes restraint for me not confront these folks. But, I know deep down that it would likely do even more damage to the cause of Christ. Besides, those folks are chomping at the bit to initiate controversy, and they invite scoffers because it fuels their "fire" (couldn't help the pun).

In the end, they too will have to answer for their actions and their public displays. I really cannot worry about that. But, I do pray for them.

And, don't worry, about 10 minutes after that, I was back in paradise, sitting with 90,000 of my buddies in Sanford Stadium, singing "Glory Glory to Ole Georgia" and watching the Dawgs take care of bidness between the hedges.

Who Cares?

I had an interesting discussion at lunch today. A few of us were talking about the whole My Space/ Facebook deal. Basically, these are online communities that allow people to share their lives with others on a regular basis.

To date, I have avoided setting up a page on these sites. But, more and more people are telling me I "need to set up a profile on Facebook."

As if blogging wasn't enough (I know you're thinking it).

The lunch discussion centered around the fact that people (mostly kids) tend to share entirely too much information on these pages. Many times they will share information that could compromise their reputations, or worse - their futures. Some can share such detailed information that it invites deranged lunatics to act on their impulses.

But, going a step beyond the dangers of sharing too much information, tons of people share completely meaningless information.

For example, people will update their personal page ten times in a day, and will share everything they are doing. Brushing their teeth. Talking on the phone. Heading to lunch. Checking the mail. Walking to the fridge to grab a Coke.

Thanks for sharing, but who cares?

Today more than any other time in history, information is meaningless. As author Daniel Pink writes in his book A Whole New Mind, we are quickly moving out of the Information Age. In the past, information was the equivalent of power. Today, anything anyone wants to know about anything or anyone is a mouse-click away.

Instead, says Pink, we are embarking (or already have embarked) on a new era in which "right brainers will rule the future." Since anybody can get information, creativity is now king. Individuality is reigning supreme in our culture.

Thank goodness.

I mean, I think it's great that you just texted your best friend. Or that you are drying your hair. Or, just popped open a can of Red Bull.

But, for Pete's sake, I don't care to know about it. Tell me something interesting ABOUT you. Share your opinions. Bare your soul. Tell me your thoughts on drilling in ANWAR. But, I'm not interested in the type of granola you just picked up at Publix.

OK, I gotta run. I just trimmed my toenails, and I have to dispose of the clippings.

Peace.

Protecting Your Brand

Have you ever driven down the street and seen litter on the ground along the road? How about knee-high weeds or grass around a home or business? Shopping carts out of place across parking lots in retail centers? People walking around holding up homemade signs promoting a business?

What about a terrible graphic or logo, pixelated images, or sub-par printing materials used to promote a church, business, or event?

How do these things make you feel? Are you more likely or less likely to frequent these places or events when you encounter any of the items mentioned above? Almost certainly, these things produce a negative impression.

There is a business here that is a local franchise of very successful regional restaurant chain. Recently, the restaurant hired a couple young guys to walk up and down the sidewalk along a busy highway with a sign held over their heads. The sign includes the restaurant logo and an arrow pointing in the direction of the restaurant. This is a restaurant that has been here for several years on a relatively busy highway. The people driving by can clearly see the restaurant - it's only about 50 yards off the road, and it stands alone.

Further, the guys holding the signs often look poorly groomed, and many times are sitting in a tailgating chair with a cap down over their eyes, with the sign resting on their lap.

So, the question is: WHY would a restaurant that is clearly visible from the road - AND has big-time brand name recognition - hire people to walk the streets with signs?

The short answer is that they don't realize what this is doing to the way people view their brand - and more specifically, their local franchise.

When I see this, I see a restaurant that appears desperate. I also see one that is trying to cut corners by simply having a warm body hold up a sign, rather than sinking their marketing dollars into community events, in-store promotions, and sponsorships that reach outside the walls of their establishment.

There are other businesses and organizations that do other things that repel customers. Things that may not be obvious, and things that may not be intentional. But, rest assured, people do notice when you compromise your brand by being lazy or selfish.

In a nutshell, great organizations genuinely care more about the people they are serving than themselves, and it's evident. So, with that in mind, take a closer look at your situation - whether it's your work, your church, your neighborhood, or even your own home. What impression would someone have if they walked in? Would they return for a second visit, or would once be enough?

Care enough about yourself and your organization to do the extra leg-work to ensure that others have a favorable - and lasting - first impression.