Yesterday, I wrote about something we all have in common: our humanity. Another word for this is depravity: the notion that we are born with a proclivity towards sinful behavior.
As my son's baseball coaches try to beat into his team's brains - not IF, but WHEN you fail...and you WILL fail.
So, we're all gonna screw up.
But, we do have the ability to limit the mistakes we make. One of those ways is to learn from the mistakes of others. Whether it's an issue of addiction, lying, cheating, stealing, negligence, ignorance, or greed, we can all heed wise counsel from those who have gone before us into those murky waters.
But, do you want to know the sad truth? We rarely look at what has happened to others as a result of their poor choices.
I was listening to a sports talk show a couple years ago. The host was debating with callers about one particular athlete's proclivity toward making bad decision after bad decision. And, the host of the program made an interesting statement. He said, "There are countless examples of other athletes who have made poor choices that he (this athlete) could have learned from. But, the fact is that we only learn from our own mistakes."
Much has been said about Todd Gurley and Jameis Winston these past several days. Every talking head on TV or radio has brought up Johnny Manziel, A.J. Green, Cam Newton, and others who have been in the spotlight, and have made unwise choices. They say things like, "How could Gurley have done this - especially after what happened to Johnny Football last year?"
Simple - he didn't have guardrails in his life, and he drove off the cliff. He decided to take things into his own hands instead of looking for wise counsel. He rationalized, rather than using reason. Reason is the first thing to go out the window when temptation comes calling.
Could Todd Gurley have thought about others who have made the same mistake he was about to make? Sure he could have. All of us have stories of our own failures and miscalculations that we could use to implore others to make better choices. But, ultimately, they have to choose to apply this wisdom, not ignore it.
I find it interesting when I hear people making such harsh remarks about OTHER people who slip, fall, or fail. It's really easy to be the judge when they are up on that high horse. Normally, when I hear judgmental and ultra-critical remarks from someone, I can almost always tell you where it's rooted: pride and an over-abundant sense of self-worth.
Being puffed up with self-pride is in indicator of a lack of humility. You know what kind of person has humility? A broken person. Those who have been broken - and who have admitted that they are broken - are the most joyful, appreciative people in the world.
If you are cynical, critical, and harsh, my bet is that you have never experienced that brokenness. You do have the opportunity to change, and learn from others who may have pushed others away, lost friends and family, or created an attitude of bitterness that hovers over them. Or, you can disregard those examples, and learn the hard way. The choice is yours. But, understand that the fallout of your choices reaches further than you may be able to see in the mirror.
This article is not about Todd Gurley in any way. It applies equally to all of us. But, let me use last week's story about Todd Gurley allegedly accepting money for autographing memorabilia as the springboard.
One of the most ignorant statements I saw last week after the story came out, and Gurley was subsequently suspended, was made by one of the most die-hard Dawg fans in the land, and it said this: "In Chubb We Trust."
Now, it may have simply been a supportive remark to help rally the Bulldog Nation around the freshman tailback, who was named the starter for this past weekend's game. But, it hit me a bit differently. Todd Gurley, as far as we have known, has been a terrific example to many both on and off the field. Until last week, Todd Gurley was probably the Heisman front-runner. He is a hard worker. He serves the community. He visits sick kids in the hospital. He is humble. He is a great teammate.
But, here's the truth about Gurley: he is human. He made a mistake. He made them before he signed memorabilia for money. He will make more mistakes.
And, here's another bit of truth: Nick Chubb is also human. He has made mistakes, and he will make many in the future. Hopefully, he won't make the mistake Gurley made (or another NCAA or team violation), but he will mess up some time in his life. Maybe not at UGA - but somewhere down the road. We all do.
So, to say, "In Chubb We Trust" just didn't seem right to me. How can we place our trust in another human being, just hours after we discover what Gurley had done? Why would we want to?
Matt Chandler, in his book The Explicit Gospel, talks about how we, as fallen creatures, always seem to look in the wrong places when we are trying to find pleasure and satisfaction in this life.
"The majority of human beings believe that people and circumstances exist to make them happy," he writes. "We believe the brokenness inside will be satisfied by things outside. If we're not happy, who's to blame? People and circumstances. Do you see how this doesn't even make sense - broken people expecting broken people to fix them or expecting good things to do God things for them? It's a ridiculous notion, if we can think rightly about it."
We are all broken, sinful people. You are. I am. So, if we are all in this quandary together, why do we look to have faith or hope in one another? If the transmission in my car goes out, do I want to swap it for a vehicle that is missing an engine? Of course not. I want to find something more reliable, something safer that can get me where I need to go.
If you continue to put your hope (or happiness) in people, your life will look a lot like the Scream Machine roller coaster. You'll subject yourself to high highs, low lows, dips, turns, and you will get jerked around.
But, there is an alternative. The true Life Giver is always there for us to guide, protect, and comfort us. And, He alone can fill our hearts with the joy for which we so desperately search.
In God We Trust.
There are just days when I lament over it. It's an inconvenience at times. It eats up a good bit of time. It is money we don't need to spend. It isn't even necessary.
I am talking about taking my kids to school every day.
We pay taxes to cover transportation for our kids getting to and from school. The easy thing would be just to put them on the "big cheese wagon" every day and head in to work.
But, years ago, my wife and I made the decision to drive the kids to school. Every day.
It used to be less of an inconvenience - especially when they were attending the same school for two years. But, these days, I am driving an additional 16 miles in the morning. And I am going AWAY from my place of employment by dropping my older son off at high school. When you figure we also are picking him up four times per week from football, we are driving in excess of 140 miles per week just to the high school and back.
So, why do it?
I have asked this question many times of late. Particularly on those days when traffic is jammed on 41, or when the car line is 20+ minutes long.
In the end, we made this decision years ago because we felt it was the right decision for our family. But, there was one benefit that never occurred to me until recently.
Andy Stanley, the Senior Pastor at Northpoint Church, talks quite a bit about the cumulative effect of the choices we make. Essentially, like interest on a bank account, consistent small amounts add up to something significant over time.
I have taken my older son to school since he was two years old. He is now 14. In those 12 years, I have had the opportunity to spend an extra 10-20 minutes per day with him that I would have missed out on. If that time averages to 15 minutes per day, multiplied by 180 school days per year, over a 12-year stretch, that adds up to 540 hours of additional time I have spent with my older son. That figure is 360 hours for my 10-year old.
Discussions about school. About baseball. About the Braves, the 49ers, Bulldogs. About vacations. About what was for lunch that day. About the plans for the evening. About friends and family and church. Precious time and precious words.
I am less than a year and a half away from my older son having a driver's license. Sure, that may be convenient for me or for my wife when he can drive. But, I will also miss out on that extra 15-20 minutes of "father-son" time I have been privileged to spend with him.
Thank you, Lord, for allowing me this gift through the years!
When you ask anyone what they want in life, one of the more popular answers will be "happiness."
When you speak with couples early in their relationships, and ask why they are with their significant other, he/she will almost always say "they make me happy."
Even the wise sage Bobby McFerrin capitalized on this emotion: don't worry, be happy.
Easier said (or sang) than done.
We desire happiness, but if we're honest, there's a great deal of time in our life spent unhappily.
Happiness is contingent upon our circumstances. We're generally happy when we have our way. Conversely, we're unhappy when things don't go our way.
One definition of the word "happy" says this: delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing.
Sometimes we can confuse happiness for joy. While they are similar, I believe there's a rather profound difference in the two words.
The same dictionary defines the word "joy" as follows: the emotion of great delight caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying. Read that again. Now re-read the definition of "happy". They're not the same.
In "C.A.'s abridged dictionary," I would define happiness as a feeling you have when you get what you want. Joy, on the other hand, is much deeper. While happiness is typically something we feel when something happens to us, joy is something working in and through us.
The source of happiness is clearly my circumstances. I am healthy. I got a bonus at work. My son hit a home run. I got ten cents off at the pump with my membership card today. The sun is out. I got to eat at my favorite restaurant. My boss told all of us to cut out of work an hour early. I am happy.
The source of pure joy, however, is not dependent upon my circumstances. It is a gift given by the One to whom we need to be anchored. Especially when things do not go our way.
Consider the following scriptures that speak of joy:
The hope of the righteous brings joy. Proverbs 10:28
There I will go to the altar of God, to God—the source of all my joy. Psalm 43:4
Our hearts ache, but we always have joy. We are poor, but we give spiritual riches to others. We own nothing, and yet we have everything. 2 Corinthians 6:10
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. James 1:2
Say what? When trouble comes my way, it's an opportunity for what? For anger? For revenge? For scorn? For bitterness? No. For Joy.
I know! I am with you! It just doesn't seem to make sense. But, when does God ever work in ways that make sense to us?
But, here's the deal in a nutshell. When we consider that the source of our joy is the Lord, the picture begins to clear a little. When we then consider that our Lord is the source of hope, we are yet a step closer.
This is precisely how we can be so distraught, yet remain joyful, in the midst of a storm. Our hope is not in our salary. Our hope is not in our spouse. Our hope is not in our kids. Our hope is not in our health. Our hope is in the Lord God Almighty, and was given to us through Jesus Christ.
I'd like to leave you with words from someone who knew intimately about the joy that only comes from the Father. His name is Paul. He killed Christians. But, then Jesus confronted him. Blinded him. Stripped away everything he knew. Then, he filled him up with Himself, transforming this "chief of all sinners" to the man who, aside from Jesus himself, had the most profound impact on the spread of the Gospel.
I pray that God, the
source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you
trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the
power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
You may not realize it, but there is a cost associated with everything you do. I am not talking about money here, although many times our decisions do involve dollars and cents. No, I am referring to opportunity costs - those things we give up when we make a decision. Each and every choice we make costs us something we are NOT doing.
In terms of our budgets, the decision to buy a car likely means we cut back on eating out, trips to the movie theater, or a family vacation. Those are all costs of buying a car, in addition to the amount you are paying your bank or a dealership.
But, while financial decisions are concrete examples of costs that hit our wallets, there's a resource far more valuable in terms of opportunity costs: time. When we choose to spend our time one way, we relinquish our ability to spend it another way. And that means the stakes are high. Sometimes we can earn or make the money back that we spend. But, we cannot get the time back.
- When you choose to spend an hour browsing the internet, what are you giving up?
- When you live on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Foursquare, etc - what are you surrendering?
- When you watch Judge Judy, Days of Our Lives, Dr. Phil, and Ellen each day, what are you missing out on?
Conversely, there are also costs associated with our supposed "wise" choices in life:
- When you go on a four-mile hike, you may sweat, ache, and burn - you are giving up relaxation.
- When you serve at a concession stand at a high school football game, you are allowing parents watch their kids play...but there are other things you could be doing - Friday night movie? A night out with the boys? A date night with your wife?
- When you coach your son or daughter's team, you are pouring into kids who need positive influences in their lives. But, you are sacrificing some things as well - sitting on the sidelines as a fan, not having to worry about lineup cards, dealing with umpires/officials, planning for practices and games.
Generally speaking, I don't believe people weigh their choices. Most times we just fly by the seat of our pants. We are not intentional. We make choices in the moment, rather than contemplating the possible ramifications of our decisions. And, in the end, most of us just wind up doing what appeals to us the most. Meanwhile, we surrender our ability to make calculated investments in the lives of those we love the most.
So, here's the question: What is greater - the rewards you receive for the small sacrifices you make, or the potential you've squandered by chasing things that matter little?
Everything has a cost. You just may never see it until it's too late.
