Addition by Subtraction

For years, I played the game.  A game where legends are born. Men’s Open League Softball.

I began my career playing for my then-girlfriend’s church team. I was the “young stud” at 19 years of age, and I played a pretty amazing shortstop if I must say so myself. That season in 1993 would be the first of many.  I ultimately would put my own team together, managing and playing for nearly a decade. I was even out on the field just a few days after my first child was born. I would play through root canals and kidney stones and gout (yes – I was in my 20’s!).

But, one day, my son turned five.  And, it was his turn to play, and I would hang up my cleats.  I can remember my wife and me talking about the fact that I was not playing softball.  She thoroughly enjoyed the camaraderie with the other families who attended the games, as did I. This was something that had been a part of our lives for many years, and it was tough to put it aside.

I can recall discussions about figuring out schedules so I could still coach my son, while still managing the softball team and continuing to play through the spring and summer. But, the more I considered how that would impact our schedule, the less interested I became in trying to make it work.

It was certainly the right decision for our family.  With a five year old now playing baseball, and with me coaching, along with an almost two-year old son in the picture, we didn’t need to add anything to our plate. Not without subtracting something else.

All too often, I see families who compromise themselves by continuing to pile on the activities and the commitments, while never eliminating something else.  They just pull out the proverbial shoe horn and wedge it in. At the same time, they convince themselves that the sacrifice is worth it because “it’s for the kids.” And, while little Johnny may now be on the elite travel team, and sister Jenny is now a concert pianist at age 8, the family dynamic is disjointed and chaotic.

You see, sometimes good things (like softball) need to be removed so that better things (like my son playing baseball) don’t get slighted. Perhaps for you it’s a hobby that you truly love that is causing you to miss out on quality time with your spouse or kids.  Maybe you have allowed your kids’ activities to crowd out things like participating in a small group Bible study. Or, the occasional “girls night out” has evolved into a weekly gathering that pulls you away from those who love you the most.

But, there is some great news! You hold the key to changing things and aligning your heart’s priorities with your life’s activities. It will take some adjusting and maybe some difficult conversations. But, in the end, you’ll win – and so will your family.

Humility Doesn't Need to be Humiliating

It's a quality we all want to possess, but generally we don't want to live through the circumstances that aid us in acquiring it. Humility.

Dictionary.com defines humility as a "modest opinion or estimate of one's own importance, rank, etc." Its most direct opposite is pride.

It's a Catch 22 with humility.  If you believe you are humble, generally you are not.  If your life is truly marked by humility, you likely are not even thinking about yourself.  You are considering others first.

But, this doesn't just happen on its own.  Many times devastating, life-altering circumstances are what lead one to become humble in nature. Perhaps a health issue. A job loss. A broken relationship. 

Sometimes, even good things can stand in the way of God's best for us.  The great Charles Swindoll once referred to these good things in our lives as "crutches" that hold us up artificially.  And, like only God can, He can kick these crutches out from under us so that the only way we can keep from falling is to lean on Him, and Him only. This brings about the humility God wants so desperately for our lives to flourish.

The Bible talks an awful lot about humility, so it must be pretty important. Here's just a small sampling of these scriptures:

 

• True humility and fear of the Lord lead to riches, honor, and long life. Proverbs 22:4 (NLT)
  
• Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2 (NLT)
• Haughtiness goes before destruction; humility precedes honor. Proverbs 18:12 (NLT)
• If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. James 3:13 (NLT)

Often, when bad things in life come our way, we tend to live in humiliation rather than in humility.  A close synonym for humiliation is shame.  We live in shame, punishing ourselves, rather than allowing ourselves to give it over to the Lord. This is not what God wants.  He desires humility, not humiliation. Meekness, not shame. Modesty, not degradation.

I cannot emphasize enough that humility is a process.  It will not happen in an instant...but, in an instant, our lives can certainly be transformed from a life marked by pride and selfishness to one that begins to gravitate toward living how Jesus lived.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,  not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness^. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! Philippians 2:3-8 (NIV)

Don't set a goal of becoming more humble. It won't happen.  Instead, try to live your life in such a way that others can see God at work in and through you. 

Brokenness leads to humility, and humility leads to riches, honor, and life (Prov. 22:4). Who doesn't want that trade-off?

Get Out of Cruise Control, then Hand Over the Keys

When things are going well in our lives - when we are on cruise control be-bopping down the highway of life - we really become self-sufficient.  I mean, even if you are a Christian who follows the Lord, surely you struggle with really hungering and thirsting for God when all the stars are aligned in your world. I do.

I believe we have this tendency to use the same routine or formula that has been working for us, day in, day out. After all...it is working. Why change things up?

So, we go about our lives, and because we love God, and we know He loves us, we sprinkle a little bit of Jesus here and there in the equation...just for good measure.  We think, "Things are peachy.  I love my life.  And, because I am a good Christian, I am going to give a shout-out to Jesus every now and then and make sure he's with me on this ride."

I don't honestly believe that we consciously THINK those things...but I do believe that is our approach most of the time.  When things are hunky-dory, our life looks like this: 

We Achieve Success >> We Experience Happiness >> We Have a Positive Outlook on Life >>We Thank God (sometimes).

But, when life sours a bit, and knocks us off the merry-go-round, the cycle looks a bit different.  Perhaps it looks like this:

We Experience Failure or Adversity >> We Experience Sadness or Anger >> We Have a Negative Outlook on Life >> We Desperately Seek God (perhaps after we have tried to figure it out ourselves).

It's in these arduous moments when we think and say things like, "I have never needed God more in my life than I do right now!"

And, while we certainly FEEL that way, it's not entirely accurate.  Even in the midst of our anxiety, sadness, dismay, and torment, we don't need Him more than we need Him when we're experiencing elation and accomplishment. 

We need exactly the same amount of Him all the time, regardless of what life throws our way.  Just because we FEEL like we need Him more doesn't mean we need Him more.  We just become aware that we need God when we cannot move forward on our own.

I challenge you today - whether you're at the pinnacle, or you're in the doldrums - to seek the Lord with all your heart, and ask him to be your Guide.  You'll find more peace when you hand over the keys and the Lord is in the driver's seat.

Through Life's Ups and Downs, Giving Your Very Best is Critical to Perseverance

We live in our own little cocoons, where we see what we see, hear what we hear, and feel what we feel.  We are consumed with ourselves. As Donald Miller, in his bestseller Blue Like Jazz, put it: it's as though we are the star in our own epic feature film, and everyone else comes in and out of the frame as a supporting cast. We are the hero or heroine of this movie - our own story.

Like any well-written novel, our personal story will involve peaks and valleys, comedy and tragedy. Good moments and bad. And, we really like the good moments: when we get the girl, land the job, win the prize.

But what about when things aren't great? What then?

I tend to be even-keeled.  I don't have "high" highs, and I don't have "low" lows. I stay in the middle for the most part.  But, like everyone else, I much prefer for things to be going well. To be "in the zone." To be well-liked. To be appreciated and valued. To be praised and acknowledged. I really like for good things to come my way. It's so much easier, right?

There's a serious problem with this, however.  All of this provides a false sense of security and self-worth.  In looking to others (and things) for affirmation and adulation, we miss the boat. 

We are built (by society) for accomplishment. We aim to please. We do things in the hopes that someone will notice and let us know how great we are. We are attention-seekers and like to be rewarded for a job well done.

But, what happens where there is no tangible reward? What do we do when we give and serve and love, and no acknowledgement is offered? What if there's no "atta boy" or high five?

The answer is not easy, but it is simple: we keep giving our best. And, when possible, we give even more.

Colossians 3:23-24 says this: Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.  Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ. (NLT)

This is another element of faith - not seeing our reward, but being confident that the Lord sees our devotion to Him, and that He will reward us in His own way - which will be infinitely better than anything we could receive here.

If you find yourself in this place right now, I want to offer you some encouragement.  Your spouse may not see your efforts.  Your boss and co-workers may not appreciate what you are doing.  Your clients and customers may not understand the decisions you make, and are looking elsewhere for a place to give their business. But, if you are working with an attitude and heart that serves Christ, you will be at the head of the class.  He will notice, and He's got your back. 

Don't base your attitudes and work ethic on your feelings. Have confidence in the Lord and His abilities to provide exactly what you need, when you need it.

Mark Richt's Got it Right

I slam down the remote.  I yell. I kick my heel against the couch. "What in the world!??!?!" I groan.

Yep.  It's a typical Saturday afternoon watching a little Georgia football in my living room.

As a season ticket holder, I enjoy home games from the friendly confines of Sanford Stadium.  And, for some reason, I am mild-mannered and keep my composure quite well when I am standing among 95,000 other Bulldog faithful.

But, in my own home, I am an ogre when we turn the ball over. Or hit the ball carrier late for a 15-yard penalty. Or miss a chip shot field goal. Or go three and out.  Or, heaven forbid, LOSE the game.

But, suddenly, the TV camera pans to the Georgia sideline.  We've just given up a first down on yet another third and long, and there's Head Coach Mark Richt.  Calm. Stoic. Seemingly care-free.

Now, I have seen Coach Richt get fired up.  When officials really screw up, he gets upset and lets them know about it.  But, that is not the norm.  

I know Dawg fans just get ticked off when they see Richt so calm and peaceful on the sidelines in the midst of chaos - both on the field and in the stands. They think to themselves, "He doesn't even care. He needs to have more fire out there.  I care more about the football game than HE does!"

Well, yes and no.

I doubt there's anyone who truly cares more about what happens on the football field than the head coach - especially a man like Mark Richt.  But, to obsess about something and to care about it are totally different.

I was listening to his call-in show a couple weeks ago after the Kentucky game. It was the week leading up to the Auburn game, and one particular caller said something like this: "Great job, Coach.  The team is really playing well, and with getting Gurley back this week, I think we're all going to be sitting here really happy next week after another big win."

Richt's response (paraphrasing): "Well, I'd hate to think that someone's happiness is based on that...but I guess it helps."

That kind of response infuriates people who eat, breathe, and sleep Georgia Bulldogs football. To suggest that a Dawg fan could possibly be happy even if we lost a game?!? That's crazy talk!

But, the truth is, that response is EXACTLY why I pray Mark Richt coaches at Georgia for another 15 years.  His perspective is not the perspective that maybe Nick Saban has.  Or Urban Meyer. Or Steve Spurrier. 

If you find that, not only is your entire Saturday ruined...but your entire weekend, or even the next week...because the team you root for lost a GAME, you really do need help.  If you allow the outcome on the field to dictate your mood or countenance beyond the 4th quarter (or overtime), there's a problem.

The answer to that problem can be found in the peace that Mark Richt has.  A peace that is available to all of us, if we seek the One who can grant it.

This Thanksgiving, I pray for peace in my own heart - but I pray for peace in yours, too.  And, I thank the Prince of Peace for loving me...even when I love Georgia Bulldogs football a little bit too much.